Cancers back

[Farrah]

Hi guys hope you are all ok

Just been given devastating news my dads bastard tumour is back to day it's shocked us to the core is an understatement at first they said it was suspected hernia then they did a ct scan and a tumour showed up in the place he had the cancer originally the upper Gi has told us nothing can be said till Wednesday when they have a mdt meeting. Please guys I was hoping if you can shed some light as what happens when you have secondary what are your chances of long survival I just know my dad is my everything with out him I am nothing and losing him is not an option where can I ask for clinical drug trials please help me guys would appreciate it

[Hidden]

I am sorry to hear this news. It will now all depend on what type the cancer is and how much it might have spread. I do know people who have been successfully treated after developing cancer again, but this tends to be the exception rather than the rule. It this important that they discuss what options are available at the MDT meeting, where the surgeons, oncologists and others will out their heads together to work out what might be best.

I can understand how desperate you feel. You can certainly ask about trials, but the important thing is to try and face up to this situation and to take your time to come to terms with the new diagnosis. In some ways it is a question of trying to achieve a reasonably good quality of life for as long as possible, whether that be many years or just months or weeks. So the difficulties of further treatment have to be balanced against comfort and happiness for whatever time we have left.

I have no doubt your father will be very concerned with the family he might be leaving behind. It is an enormous test for you all, but you have to try and face the situation and try and give each other strength as best you can.

[Farrah in reply to Hidden]

I still can't come to terms with it my dad is a 64 year old healthy fit peson he's feeling hungry all the time his weight is stable how could this happen I don't understand I'm just feeling lost and trying to be strong for my mum and dad and family but my god it's so hard all I am doing is crying my heart out when I knowbthis will not solve anything my dads wish is we stand with him strong but I don't have it in me he's not reacted to this news and keeps saying he's had a wonderful life what will be will be and all is in gods hands I understand that but I want him to talk to me but instead he's acting normal and I'm just scared he's blocking it in and being strong for us. I just don't know what to do I'm researching proton beam in Prague I just want to do anything I can to have more time with my father.

Sorry for ranting and thank you for listening

[Hidden in reply to Farrah]

I think that sometimes it is harder for the family than the person themselves. Everyone deals with these things in their own way. The best thing you can do is to wait until they have done all the tests and scans and had their MDT meeting. The consultants in this country are very knowledgeable and will give good advice. There are also very good centres like Maggie's Centres that help patients and their families work through the various issues.

You have to be very careful about the prospect of going abroad for cures, as sometimes things are not what they seem, but I do not know about the one you mention.

[SteveJ]

Hi Farrah. I can't add anything to what Alan has already said, maybe something positive will come up on Wednesday,lets hope so. My thoughts are with you.

[Joseph84]

Hi Farrah, I'm one of the very lucky ones that's had it twice, I know how your father feels I was devastated as it had been 18 years when I was diagnosed the first time. It is coming up to 5 years since my second diagnosis I wish your father all the best.

[marycontrary]

I am so sorry to hear about the return of you dad's cancer.

In my opinion, by far the best resource on the Internet for anyone facing cancer is Chris Woollams Canceractive.com website.

It is also possible to have a Personal Prescription with Chris himself who is deeply knowledgeable about cancer and may be able to make some positive suggestions about your dad's situation now. All the information offered on his site is EVIDENCE based.

In your situation you can choose between doing nothing or doing something. In my opinion there are many things cancer patients can do for themselves but frequently people are too scared to hope and become demotivated and immoblised by fear. Utimatley it is your father's decision as to how he wishes to respond to the situation, but what have you got to lose?

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Catz1]

Im so so sorry to hear about your father too. I agree with marycontrary that you have to do everything you can now - if that is how you feel. I know I would but like you I would be so devastated after fighting the first long battle to have to go through it all again is just unthinkable. I hope you don't mind me asking but how did they discover that what seemed like a hernia, was actually a tumour? What tests did they do? I wish you and your family especially your beloved dad so much luck and positivity. My thoughts and prayers are with you too.

[Farrah]

Hi guys just spoken to the upper go they will be offer chemo and the tumour has not spread there's nothing they can do and no guaranteed time scale but we have no choice but to fight they only discovered this as dad had been constipated his bowel has moved slightly but they won't be operating as there is no blockage and they have managed to control his pain by morphine we will be referred to the oncologist but if it wasn't for his constipation we would not have known till probably it's too late don't know if that's a good thing or bad I'm just so heartbroken have to be strong for my dad what ever he decided thanks guys for your prayers xxxx

[carriagegirl in reply to Farrah]

Hi Farrah, I know how you are feeling, I lost my husband to OC returning. All I'll say is make the very most of this time. He will be scared but will do his best to hide it for you all. Be strong, talk, laugh, make life as normal as possible, share your thoughts, cry but most of all make memories together to go with the ones you already have. xx

[Farrah]

Hello thank you call for your kind comments really appreciate it. Dad is being strong doesn't help that his hernia is causing a lot of pain he's in constant agony and needs morphine and patches constantly. I'm just waiting to hear from oncology and also have requested a second opinion at Christy hospital in Manchester one thing for sure is i'm not Gona give up with out a fight dad is just plodding along he's eating a lot and is walking a lot looking at him he doesn't even look like he is going through cancer I'm just hoping they will tell us it's a false alarm but I can dream. I'm doing everything I can for him to have a normal life I have to constant give him his medication as he's not bothered anymore that's the most frustrating thing that I feel like he's just going through the emotions but I guess he's doing what ever helps him to come to terms with this horrible illness. Please all of you keep my dad in your prayers really appreciate it

Love farrah

[PONDYMAN]

Hi Farrah. I was cleared NAD March.. June it was back. Now spread to lung and stomach.. Got 5 more radiotherapy treatment and that s all.. Prognosis less than a year. All parents want to protect their children however old.. Mine are over 30 x I too am lucky to have a wonderful family and friends. And it s so much harder for them My future is written theirs isn't. I am well not in much pain and making sure we have everything in place.. And that we all have those little hugs and tears and chats to help us through. Your dad will want to look after you too xx Don't waste a second of the good time you have.. I wish you all good luck but try step back a bit and think what everyone wants and needs especially him xx