NRAS
23,108 members26,856 posts

So frustrated, and i feel useless.

I'm finding that im getting so frustrated of late. all those simple diy jobs i used to be able to do is now impossible.. Woke up to find curtain pole had snapped the supports. and because i have no strenght in my hands i have to wait forsomeone to mend it. it would of only taken me 10 mins to sort. its so costly having RA. I'm always having to pay people to do little jobs.

Last month i had to pay someone to paint the stairs,as i cant do that. Its so frustrating, and even little things such as tighten a cupboard door,i had to wait for someone to do it.

jenny.xx

17 Replies
oldestnewest

Hi Jenny,

Sorry your feeling frustrated, but totally know how you feel cos i'm the same. I've got a room and loft to clear but have to wait because I can't lift any of the boxes RRRrrr.

Do you have any charities locally that will do small jobs for you, if you receive DLA then you can register with some and they offer help and very low or zero costs

x

1 like
Reply

Is there a lets scheme near you? You can exchange services. If you can do something - whatever - you might be able to use this and its bartering so free. I do have this frustration - and moments of complete butterfingeredness

1 like
Reply

Same problems for me too x

Reply

It's one of the most difficult things to cope with. Our garden is particularly damp & gloomy in the winter months but on a sunny spring day the transformation is astonishing. I'm looking at the garden thinking that with just a little TLC it'll be wonderful this year but bending down is a bit harder now & kneeling / squatting are out of the question. And it's all on different levels, not easy to navigate at all. My husband won't have time to help but at least it's not a necessity. I think the more self-reliant you've been in the past the more annoying it is. I like the sound of the scheme Cathie mentions ....

Luce x

1 like
Reply

I invested in one of these for the garden...

coopersofstortford.co.uk/co...

And it makes me laugh too as I scoot up and down like a demented, but rather elderly, child.

1 like
Reply

Brilliant image! But in my garden I'd be more like a keystone cop - it's all ledges, uneven steep slopes & drops ......

Reply

Bungy jump ropes perhaps, so can bob up and down weeding as you go?

Reply

Upside down??? Yeah, I can see it might work - I'd need to get hold of a very high crane & really don't want to attach the rope to my ankle .... but perhaps I can knit some kind of harness...

Reply

I have always been the diy/painter in our house as hubbys not the best but i struggled like mad on sunday just to do a few touch up painting jobs.

Its very frustrating cos my mind tells me i can and did do it but my body tells me not.

Take care

Jo

Xxxx

1 like
Reply

And what I hate just as much is if I do manage to do things they are generally rubbish, as don't have the control I used to so everything ends up a bit wonky. And the tools that are supposed to help are sometimes useless. I bought a electric screwdriver as finding using manual one hurts my wrists. But you have to squeeze to make it start, which is even more difficult than twisting! Bring back Boy Scouts (or even Girl Scouts) and bob a job days....

Reply

Know were your coming from R A is soooooooooooo frustrating. My poor partner is being worked harder these days x

Reply

Just remembered what a friend who has MS said - he has, of all things, a smallholding to deal with & used to be a very active guy - his attitude is that 'if you lay a brick a day eventually you build a wall' .. I swear he was never this patient before getting ill but he puts it into practice.

Reply

I find I can do most of these things these days but just collapse with exhaustion so much more easily afterwards. I still have to squeeze my shampoo and conditioner out with my knees though but it's not pain it's just about strength. I think I just need to get back to the hand exercises and stress ball workouts that my physio gave me a year ago because I've gradually stopped doing them. When the rheumy asked me to grip with both hands I found I could grip much harder with my left than my right. I have wondered in retrospect if it's just laziness with me because I felt if he'd given me more time then I could have really made myself squeeze harder but I needed the time to send signals from my brain to my hand and wrist if that makes any sense? I think looking into charities and schemes near you is a good idea too. I have some volunteers coming to help me with my studio work soon which they will describe as work experience and I'll write them references. This is perceived by the voluntary person as me helping them but I have my own agenda! Tilda x

Reply

Thanks for all the comments, i know most of us are in the same boat and would have times just as frustrating. i do hand and other excercises when i remember and been sucked into buying so many gadgets, which turned out useless.

i will defo look to see if there is any charities in the area that could help.

jenny.xx

1 like
Reply

for starters you're not useless - just differently abled at the moment. You are still the same person who can find the good things in life, make the most of them &pass that wisdom on to others. Good luck x

1 like
Reply

Know what you mean. In the past I have dug drains, cleaned chimneys, built garden sheds, spent all day digging gardens, and done some pretty major home renovation jobs.

A couple of weeks ago I had to get a handyman to change my outside light bulb and put a shelf up. Its kind of soul destroying. I can't even change my bed at the moment and its been weeks since I had clean sheets.

1 like
Reply

I know the feeling. Like you have always done my own jobs, but now havnt got any grip and it's so painful. I drop things. I do watercolours the one thing that keeps me sane in my life but I'm struggling with that now. Just doesn't seem much help anywhere

1 like
Reply

You may also like...