i have been diagnosed with ra for a year now. im on m... - NRAS
i have been diagnosed with ra for a year now. im on mtx and happy pills. does anyone get random scarey thoughts just pop into yr head
Been on mtx since January Wouldnt have thought about this till you posted it
As I was standing by the roadside waiting to cross the other day a police car came by at high speed flashing lights and sirens and as it passed " If I wanted to end it all I could run out now " popped into my head
Did nt mention it to anyone as I didnt want family thinking I was suicidal ( which Im not) Guess you could say that was a scary random thought You got me worried now lol
I find I displace my general anxiety about what is to become of me and how I will manage in the future and become anxious about stupid little things. I leave the car somewhere and worry that it will be broken into or someone will crash into it. I worry at 3 o'clock in the morning about all sorts of things.
I think it is just because of the uncertainty - never knowing what the day will bring, how you are going to be, what you will manage to do. And, yes, sometimes, you think, wouldn't it be good not to have to make yourself do things!
I have thought about ending it all at times, it is a well recorded fact that anxiety and depression go hand in hand with a lot of people with RA. The hardest thing to do is admit to yourself that you have a problem, once you have done this get yourself along to your GP and talk to them, they understand and can help. Three months ago I was suffering , crying for no reason , planning the way to end it all, I went to my GP and burst into tears, I am 58 and a Guy with a loving wife and two teenage daughters, so I know how tough it can be, I no longer work and now support my faimily with the benefits I receive. He put me on anti-depressents (Not for the first time) now three months latter I am far more stable, so if you are having these thoughts go and see your GP sooner rather than wait until it is too late. 
XX
I too have these thoughts regularly. I was diagnosed a year and a half ago and I'm still learning how limited this disease has made me.
Talk to your GP. If you don't want to take antidepressants that's fair enough but at least maybe they can send you to someone who knows how to listen. I hope you will find your balance. It's hard.
Hi Jaqi,
I have had JIA or Stills Disease as I prefer to call it for 38 years. I frequently have 'random thoughts.' I've had them for many years. Five years ago I sat in my GP's office and cried for about 40 minutes. She put me in touch with a counsellor, who I saw for 7 weeks. I can't say she really helped me because she was a little to 'fluffy' for my liking and to sympathetic. I really do not like sympathy, all I wanted was empathy. This counsellor said that I would benefit from Psychotherapy, which I was a bit shocked at to be honest because I thought I'm not mental! Anyway after a couple of months of picking up the phone and putting it down again! I decided to make an appointment.
Well it's now 4 years later and I still go and see her. It has helped me no end. She's helped me to still be here. I do suffer from depression and I know I always will giving the disability. But I know that when I get down I have somewhere to go and someone that will listen without judgement. It's helped me so much that I am now at college studying to be a counsellor. I hope to help people like myself in the future. There's a certain stigma to 'having counselling', but it doesn't mean I'm 'nuts' it just means that I realise I have a problem and I want to do something about it. I to have been on 'happy pills' and there is nothing bad in that, but I also do not want to rely on them. I've spoken to a lot of people with RA and I haven't met one yet that hasn't had random thoughts. RA is a difficult disease to cope with both physically and mentally. There are good people out there that want and can help.
As other people have said here have a talk to your GP it may help. It is very hard having RA
Mel xx
