Ways to cheer up Nana

My nana, who will be 94 in August, called me yesterday and she was having a hard time in lockdown.

She's been isolating for almost 5 weeks now. My aunt goes round once a week to drop off groceries and do a little gardening and nana sits in the garden 2 metres away so she can have a chat.

Yesterday Auntie P went over and nana said she wished she could take her out for a lovely meal and Auntie P said she thought that unfortunately nana would be one of the last groups of people to be let out because of her age making her very vulnnerable. As she left nana was in tears at the thought of it and must have phoned me soon after. She's feeling lonely and told me she puts the TV on for company when she eats in her breakfast nook but she'd accidentally unplugged it and couldn't plug it back in until Auntie P came over and did it for her

So, I need to cheer up nana! I live over an hour away so a little drive by is not practical. This is what I have done so far:

Spoken to my dad and agreed with him that I will get a 4G tablet, set up a facebook account for her and invite family members to be friends so she can video call us. (Dad is kindly providing the wonga for it!) It should arrive tomorrow and I will set it up, then my husband has offered to drive it over to her and show her through the window maintaining strict social distancing how to work it! I am hoping I can just make a big icon in the middle of the screen that she touches to launch facebook and then we show her how to make and answer calls. After lockdown if she has got to grips with it we can show her some other things she can do with it but for now we will keep it simple!

Sent her some letterbox flowers which should arrive on Saturday. The card I picked says "Miss Your Face"!

Sent her a slice of cake (yes, that's a thing, who knew?!) which she will hopefully get mid week.

Sent her some chocolates that spell out "stay strong" with a note that says "lockdown won't be forever!" - she will get those end of next week.

I have found a little book called a year on a dairy farm which is full of pictures a farmer took on his dairy farm in Gloucestershire. She grew up on a farm in Gloucestershire and so I think she'll like it. I will order that to be sent week after next.

I've also found a book entitled Dear Grandma From You to Me and it has questions in it such as "how did you meet my grandad", "tell me about something that happened at school" etc. I shall send her that the week after next too.

I've discovered that the bakery in her village is delivering afternoon tea so I will order her one of those too in a few weeks time. Hopefully she will have the hang of video calling by then and we can maybe have the tea "together".

She likes word puzzles so I will get my husband to pick up a book of them when he goes shopping tomorrow and post them to her.

I've thought about getting her a new lippy (she is always very smart and would not be seen out without make up! I know she is going to be upset that her hair is not being dyed at the moment!)

Any other ideas on things that will cheer up my nana that do not involve technology and can be posted through a letterbox are very gratefully received! I'm aiming to send her a couple of little things a week to keep her surprised and give her something to look forward to. She will also then have something to chat about when she calls or video calls people. At the moment she has cleaned her house so much I think she must be close to wiping the paint off the skirting boards!

[Dobcross1]

First off, your Nana is a very lucky woman to have such a caring Grand daughter. I know exactly how you feel as I don't dare answer my mum when she asks how long lockdown will last. I honestly think you have thought of everything you can at the moment. If your Nana can cope ok with the technology that will be a fantastic boost for her and you so fingers crossed for you all!

[Hidden in reply to Dobcross1]

Ah thank you! I've found a new gift - a pocket hug and poem! I hope she gets the tech too as it will really boost her - especially as she will be able to see my uncle who lives in South Africa!

[dawkin_S]

How wonderful! I agree with Dobcross - you've thought of pretty much everything! Only other things I can think of would be maybe some nice hand cream or similar if she likes that kind of thing? I am sure she will really appreciate the thoughtfulness of everything you're doing and fingers crossed with the IT!

[Hidden in reply to dawkin_S]

It's new and unknown territory! But she's very much still got all her marbles so I'm hoping she can master it!

[Creakywrists in reply to Hidden]

You’ve done wonderfully well ! I’m really impressed with your ideas and I’m sure they will help her a lot.

My mum got her first computer in her late seventies and used it daily until she died. She was incredibly motivated to learn how to use it as it helped her to stay in touch with my sister who had moved to South Australia.

My brothers and I are currently Skyping my sister every week as her children are working abroad and she is isolating on her own out there.

I don’t think we’ve talked so much to each other as a group since I left to go to university!

[Hidden in reply to Creakywrists]

My uncle lives in South Africa - she went out there to stay with him, first time on a plane when she was in her 80s! (She is NOT your typical nana! The woman who played Bet Lynch was on the plane and asked to meet her - apparently they had a nice little natter! The pilot also came out to sit with her and have a chat!!) But it means she only talks to myuncle on the phone and he comes and visits once a year - she won't go back to SA now, says she can't cope with the travel and the insurance is ridiculous. I am hoping it will really boost her to be able to see him when she chats to him. Let's hope that one good thing that comes out of this awful situation is that everyone keeps in touch with their loved ones a bit better afterwards. It's so easy to let weeks pass before picking up the phone to call someone, so let's not do that any more!

[Hidden]

I so get this talking to my Mum yesterday and they are both struggling with being in every day so used to going out. Great ideas you have had there. If her hands are ok to colour how about an adult colouring book of birds for example and pens to keep her mind busy?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I know! Nana goes on the bus every week into Ely, or she'll get the bus to Cambridge or her brother (who is in his 70s) will pick her up to take her to Newmarket - she's always out! A colouring book is a good idea - I'll add it to the list! She's just called me and she is much happier today: she said my mum and dad popped over to sit in the garden with her (my dad is over 70 himself so also supposed to be staying home!) and stayed a couple of hours. I'm not sure if we are supposed to be doing this kind of thing but it's been great mentally for her so I say it comes under caring!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Mental health is just as important and my Mum felt guilty for lettng my Step Dads daughter in the garden yesterday but she is a nurse and knew what to do so they sat one side of patio door they the other and cheered them up no end. Ely is close to my work!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Ah really? I grew up in Cambs - now live in Essex, but as soon as the kids finish school I'm going back to Cambs ASAP! They have these awful things called "hills" here in Essex..! Give me the fens any day!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

tad windy here today blow you down where I live

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

yes - there's not much to stop the wind is there?! Nana did say it was bright but cold in the wind My husband was nonplussed and once again I had to explain it's because it is all so flat. Mind you - when he starts looking at houses on Rightmove, then checks the map and says the place (in the back end of nowhere!) looks well connected I also have to point out that all those straight lines are not roads, but dykes!

[AgedCrone]

All your ideas seem genius I’m sure she will appreciate all of them, however

have you thought of contacting AgeUK in the area where your Nana lives ?

They might have ideas for her.

You say she has a garden and as the nice the weather is coming on and your Auntie does some gardening ....maybe there are volunteers who have been vetted in that area & who understand social distancing could sit in the garden and have a chat & a cuppa at a distance?

She needs to see a friendly face doesn’t she?

Or

The Silverline telephone service seems to be very popular , usually Younger people phone and chat once a week ....so if you got a few people who could do that she would at least have a few phone calls to look forward to.

Once she is up & running on a Tablet,I’m sure she will be able to amuse herself & not feel the isolation so much. Make sure she has a long cable....or get her to to plug it into a socket over A worktop in her kitchen....I know how difficult it is trying to plug something fiddly in at floor level.

I’m sure people here will have a lot of ideas .....hope it’s a success & Nana feels better able to cope with this wretched isolating.

You sound like a lovely grand daughter!

[Hidden in reply to AgedCrone]

I've had a look on her village facebook page and there is a contact number for people who feel lonely so I will pass it on to her. She just called and said my parents had gone round this afternoon (they live about 20 mins away). I'd chatted to them this morning and said no matter all this "essential travel" - keeping her spirits up is "essential". My dad is over 70 himself so they were staying home as instructed (hence my auntie doing the shopping as she is under 70). She sounded much more positive today thank goodness! I was quite worried about her yesterday!

[allanah]

Facebook are doing a gadget at the moment called Portal , very simple just press button for it to come on and she can simply see you on the screen when you call ( hope she has wifi!)

[Hidden in reply to allanah]

I'll look into that thank you. She has no wifi - hence 4G tablet!

[medway-lady]

Some great ideas my old mum used FaceTime to talk to her brothers in Germany. I thought she was too old but my son taught her and she loved it. Silversurfers as Aged crone has said and Age Concern might be helpful or her local church might have a visiting rosta. Might be worth a phone call as even through glass human contact is important. x

[Hidden in reply to medway-lady]

I am hopeful she will pick up how to use the tablet - especially if I keep it very simple and she only uses it for videocalls until such time as we can go round and properly show her what else she can do. She's sharp as a tack is my nana!

[KittyJ]

What a wonderful granddaughter you are, I’m sure your grandmother will be really pleased with all your ideas. It’s must be so difficult being in lockdown on your own, your ideas will really help her and cheer her up. Well done 😊

[Hidden in reply to KittyJ]

Well, I would hope I only do what other grandchildren would do but I know from chatting to her that my cousins don't make an effort. I live one of the furthest from her and I see her the most, which is a very sad situation. At nearly 94 I don't know how long I have left with her so I want to make her time as easy as can be in lockdown!

[KittyJ in reply to Hidden]

I’m glad she has you looking out for her 😊

[Lolabridge]

Well done you for getting all that sorted. What a caring young lady you are.

The only other thing I can think of is to arrange for her to get regular letters/cards from you/family and friends. Older people do love letters! Perhaps include some recent photos that she can put on her mantle piece.

[Hidden in reply to Lolabridge]

Lol - I'm not so young! Ahem, been 21 more times than I haven't been 21 iyswim! Next month I shall be 21 for the 26th time!! I will send her some letters, but I'm afraid my cousins don't really make much of an effort. I will however suggest that some pictures from great grandchildren (6 of them are primary school age) would be nice to post to her! I've also told them all to write a message on her wall once I get her facebook up and running so that will be the first thing she sees.

[helixhelix]

Would you like a second granny? I’m volunteering!

Don’t know what’s available in UK, but here in France the lack of hairdressers and beauty salons is a big issue so much debate about what to do. Does your gran wash her own hair? As even if the semi permanent hair dye might be too complicated for her, there are colouring shampoos here. They don’t cover grey completely but does help blend things in. Or she could go mad and use a colour hair spray and go shocking pink for the duration.

[Hidden in reply to helixhelix]

Lol - I would LOVE to see her with pink hair! I'm not sure how she is coping with hair washing - I'll have to ask her. She usually get's a shampoo and set once a week and a colour every 4-6 weeks from a lady who comes to the house. I'll ask her if she thinks she can manage a wash in colur herself.

PS - Hoping I will have my own nana for a few more years (I am sure she will get to 100) but when the vacancy arises I'll be in touch!

[Gnarli in reply to Hidden]

No need to wait for the vacancy. Have two!

[Hidden in reply to Gnarli]

Lol! Well, of course I did originally have 2 but my other nana died when I was 11. However, I had 2 of my great grandmothers for a long time: one died when I was 18, the other when I was 21! So, in all, I've done alright for nanas!

[Lolabridge]

Your nana is obviously vulnerable both because of her age and her mental state because she is feeling down. So, like you have told your parents, I would also consider any travel to visit her and take food or things to cheer her up or just to sit and chat over a cuppa (at an appropriate distance of 2+ metres) is absolutely essential travel.

[Hidden in reply to Lolabridge]

The difference in her tone of voice was remarkable! She was much more upbeat. Such a little thing, such a big difference

[springcross]

Your Nana is very lucky to have a loving granddaughter like you. It seems to me that you have plenty of ideas and very good ones they are too. By the time you have finished, she will feel like the best loved Nana in the UK. xx (xxxxxx for your Nana).

[Hidden in reply to springcross]

I hope so! She's a lovely nana!

[Pippy25]

Wow you are such a love and if I were your Nana I would be proud and lucky to have you as my grand daughter! You have put a lot of thought and effort into ensuring she is getting some connection and motivation in what are testing times and more so if you are on your own. Sometimes the simple and smallest of gestures can be just as meaningful and you will know your Nana well so hope the following may help. Does Nana like magazines? You can subscribe to magazines such as Yours which is issued once a fortnight, I understand you can purchase a digital version or indeed if she likes a more physical copy and receiving post it can be delivered via post. Does she like receiving post? Perhaps sending some colourful postcards which you can purchase on line to send, or a pretty card with your favourite scent sprayed inside which will remind her of you (if you wear a scent she will recognise). Does she have any hobbies and is able to do things such sewing, knitting or jigsaws? You can small balls of wool and needles (perhaps to knit squares to make into something) and small jigsaw puzzles....maybe a large print word search or crossword book if your Nana likes puzzles. I'm sure you have lots of ideas already and I know there are some really good suggestions from others who have posted too. Keep doing what you are doing and I hope your Nana's spirit is boosted and lifted by all the things you are all doing to help her in these tough times. Take care and sending my best wishes to a caring lady x

[Hidden in reply to Pippy25]

Thank you! She's not one for sewing and knitting but she likes cooking and baking and in fact when she called me today she asked about my favourite way to make a fish pie (potato on top of bottom!) So I thought I might make her a recipe book and call all the recipes funny names like Sunshiny Happy Lemon Don't Drizzle Today Cake (she's called me 4 times for that recipe!!). My mum said she'd find out about getting the newspaper delivered as well and I'll find out what her fave magazine is. Wonderful ideas, thank you!

[Ruth12345]

As many have said, what a lovely grandaughter you are.

Im a granny of very young grandchildren. I hope they love me as you do your nana in years to come.

My mother in law is 94 and sounds very similar to your nana. She has now been set up with a mobile phone. We got her a tablet for her 90th and she didnt like it. With the phone all the family have the number to watsap video her. Its just for watsap videos and she doesnt phone out but keeps it plugged in next to a chair and when it rings she answers it and the caller hangs up at the end. So all she has to do is answer it so she doesnt get entagled with the technology. She lives indepenantly and is very switched on, but the tablet was a step too far. As this is a phone with a different ring it works. If it wasnt for the lockdown she wouldnt bother, but she sees faces every day now. Just saying this incase your nana prefers a phone like my m i l.

If the little children in the family would take it in turns to write or draw once a week with an enclosed picture of the child thats sent it, she may appreciate that. However I think you have got it covered. Well done you. 🌈

[Hidden in reply to Ruth12345]

Oh I am sure they will! We went for the tablet because it was bigger than a phone. I pondered using WhatsApp on it as it is 4g and therefore has a phone number associated with it but decided on Facebook for 3 reasons. My phone is really old with no front camera so if she called me via WhatsApp she wouldn't see me and I don't have everyone's mobile number but I do have their Facebook! Thirdly to install WhatsApp on the tablet you have to get the file from somewhere other than Google play and so if a new version comes out the old one just stops working until it is uninstalled and then reinstalled.

I'm hopeful she'll get the hang of it! Although I'd love to be there while my dad attempts to explain through a window how to use it!!

[food-lover]

I know that this involves technology but if you are to supply a tablet, why not preloaded it with a word search app and a jigsaw app. When she has been using the tablet for a while and is more confident, you could talk her through how to use them. Or send her a jigsaw (Gibson’s) 500 pieces are good quality.

[Hidden in reply to food-lover]

If suggested this to dad along with settings up a YouTube account and prepopulating the watch later segment with things she'd like to watch (Daniel O'Donnell concerts would be heavily represented!) but dad thinks it would be too confusing for her. I'm hoping after this is all over to sit down and show her other things she can do on it though so I'll keep your suggestion in mind!

[Leics]

Some lovely ideas there we’ve done something similar with my mother and father in law got an old iPad that wasn’t being used over to them with just Skype on it told them which button to press to answer it but they keep buggering it up somehow. Luckily my husband does their shopping for them so he can sort it out. He only leaves the house once a week though so it can be awkward. Both of our daughters have sent them care packages and telephone them quite often. They are struggling being cooped up but it’s the same for all of us and at least they have each other. Don’t know what they’d do if they went out anyway they can’t visit people no parks open and they wouldn’t be stupid enough to try shopping. We are hoping they stay safe where they are 🤞

[Hidden in reply to Leics]

I am hoping she understands it all - I've had a pancky phone call this morning from her as people started calling her telling her she was on facebook and they would be able to see her soon! Unfortunately she didn't know we were setting it up. I've had to send a strongly worded message to the group explaining that she doesn't understand the difference between facebook and messenger and she thought everyone would be able to see her at all times! I've also told them I am unfriending them all for the moment from her account so she only has my dad and uncle on there to begin with and then I will invite them again once she is comfortable with the process!

[HamHammy]

Oh wow. You are so thoughtful. And your Nana is so lucky to have such a warm and thoughtful, caring, loving family.

[Hidden in reply to HamHammy]

Turns out I've let that family all in a bit quick as they've scared her by phoning her and telling her they'll be able to see her soon on facebook! She thought they'd be able to see everything she was doing at all times! I've told them I'm unfriending them all until she gets used to the technology and she will only be friends with my dad and my uncle to begin with!

[Mumcon]

What a lovely thing to do I’m sure your Grandma will appreciate everything you are doing 🌈🌈🌈

[Hidden in reply to Mumcon]

Let's hope so! She's not too happy about the tech at the mo due to not understanding it! I haven't even got the tablet yet to set it up!

[Potatos]

If you are giving her a tablet and a Facebook account you could also load on a Scrabble app. You could then play together.

[Hidden in reply to Potatos]

I will bear that in mind for after lockdown I think - she's having kittens about it all now - worried the world and his wife would be able to see everything she was doing!

[Plumcrumble]

Just to say your a wonderful grand daughter 👍❤️

[Hidden in reply to Plumcrumble]

Thank you - and let's hope that after this people start to be a bit more thoughtful towards each other! I just can't bear the thought of her being lonely or unhappy because she can't see anyone and the days must drag so much for her. So these little things will hopefully make her a bit brighter!

[Zoladronic]

My lovely son, and his partner Helen.. Sent me a suprise gift a few weeks ago, it was so nice.. A lovely room spray, hand and body wash... Also some lovely GF chocolate and other tasty goodies...

It was so lovely and un expected... It really gave me a lift...

Yesterday another suprise gift arrived.. It was a weaving kit...

Beautiful, and will give me Something to occupy myself...

So kind and thoughtful...

[Hidden in reply to Zoladronic]

Ah that's lovely! I also thought it's not only the pleasure and the surprise of getting the gift, depending on what it is you can then occupy your time with it and then you also have something to talk about when you speak to other people - else we will all be only talking about the miserable news!

[Sheila_G]

You have got some lovely ideas of your own. You are a very thoughtful and loving granddaughter and I am sure all these little gifts and kind gestures are helping your nana to feel better. Sadly the thing we all crave and the thing we can't have, is human contact especially with our loved ones. It isn't the same on video calls or seeing your family members through a car window or sat at the other side of the garden but thankfully we do have technology and that has been a God send for most of us. It will never take the place of a loving hug and kiss but it is all we can have for now. I think that having a relative in your garden at the necessary distance or more and not allowing them into your house is essential for us all but even more so for some. Our mental health as well as our physical health has to be taken seriously. I personally don't see anything wrong with this as long as it is only one close relative. Keep up the great things you are doing for your nana. I wish you all well. x

[Hidden in reply to Sheila_G]

Yes, I am hoping seeing my dad (who is over 70 and so also has to stay home) and my uncle (who lives in South Africa and will possibly be unable to make his yearly trip to come and see her) will boost her spirits immeasurably. I think he first surprise will arrive tomorrow, so finger crossed it makes her smile! She was a bit cross with me as family started calling her about this facebook video calling (we'd not told her about it!) and she got so worried she didn't sleep last night.

[Linysaurous]

Hi, I’ve just ordered a pack of postcards to send to family, friends and also to people in care homes who are struggling with the lockdown. Maybe your family members can send postcards to your nana or she might even like to send postcards to people she knows. With warmest of wishes and I hope you’re able to give your Nana a big hug soon x

[Hidden in reply to Linysaurous]

Thank you - I will make the suggestion!

[Coco54]

She is one lucky lady to have you all especially in lockdown. It was a friends birthday yesterday & we always without fail go out for her birthday so six of us went on facebook video yesterday to surprise her & one friend visited her social distancing of course so we were all able to be together to celebrate all be it at a distance...then in the evening her sister set up Zoom where 9 of us attended with a Gin & Tonic in hand to raise a glass for her which she loved so it was a wonderful day she was not expecting.....Afternoon Tea is a great idea too, one of our friends ordered that for her yesterday, I ordered her a chocolate tower also from the same local baker & another friend a musical biscuit tin from Fortnum & Mason so it's amazing even with lockdown how you can interact. We have a friend who is in Rwanda volunteering now on lockdown so we are going to chat to her on video weekly as she is feeling so lonely, so it definitely helps Oh one last thing I had a neighbour of 94 years young who mastered her Tablet to communicate with her family on Video Chat so it is possible....hope these help your Nana & I think you have it all covered

[Hidden in reply to Coco54]

isn't it amazing how adaptable we are - changing the way we interract and keeping those connections going! I'm hopeful nana will master the tablet - she's sharp as a tack, she just worries that it will be a bit big brother and everyone will see her at all times of the day whereever she is! I've had to explain they can't repeatedly!

[Coco54 in reply to Hidden]

Isn't it just, I was just saying to a friend how my mind is in comparison how I used to be with Technology even just back 5 years ago & how it can all go so quickly with...such a blessing she is like that & to have her in your life at that age...I was fortunate enough to have mine up until she was 92 years so I have amazing memories:). She sounds amazing your Nana & I am a bit (I must admit) big brother myself but I am also very much each to their own opinion as long as you don't hurt anyone else...take care & stay well

[Hidden in reply to Coco54]

I was incredibly lucky when it came to grandparents - I lost my last GREAT grandparent when I was 22!! I knew all my paternal great grandparents - the first died when I was 7, so although I don't have many memories of him what I do remember is very clear.