home alone

home alone

I lost my husband 19 months ago and I am trying to adjust but the rd as made my world small. I am not the girl about town sort .I have no car ,what I am asking today is ideas on a hobby that would fill in my time and help my rd I love photography but I can no longer use a slr camera my other hobbies used to be gardening I would grow flowers to photograph that lead my to become a prize winning gardener .so now I need a new challenge

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  • Hi junebee , I've just retired and and at first the days were long trying to adjust to not having to be somewhere at a certain time and having a flare and off mtx didn't help either, I started making some cards, birthday and now Christmas ones, I got a starter set at a local craft shop and have picked up a few bits and pieces to add to it, it's quite therapeutic as you try to match colours etc, I also did some knitted toys, small ones, I got some ideas from Pinterest its a website for crafting etc, sorry you can't do your photography just now but you might be able to take it up when you are feeling a bit stronger and the weather gets warmer, we have to try and be positive that we might not be able to do what we used to do but find something that takes our mind off our aches and pains. You have had to do a lot of adjusting losing your husband and your hobbies but I hope you find something that gives you some pleasure , sending love and hugs, take care x Jane

  • hi the cards sounds like a good idea it would save my some money as well as Christmas is around the corner I never thought of that thank you

  • Hiya June. Back in the day, before RD, when I used to do dried flower arranging this time of year led onto customising decs for Christmas. I started just doing it for my own home, buying basic undecorated swags, wreaths etc & added my own touch with sprigs of berries, ribbon, stringed beads, pine cones, seed heads etc. After friends saw my efforts I ended up doing ones for them & sprayed or added specifics, where necessary, to go with their colour scheme & just asked them to pay for materials. I did a really long one for a friend to put up the stair rail 14 years ago & she still brings it our each Christmas! Last year's made front door decs from twigs (sounds odd but quite effective once decorated!) & as my hands won't comply now instead of the fiddly wire I used to use I used a hot glue gun & florists tape. Last year I fancied something different from my traditional red, green gold & silver on our tree so searched eBay for old strings of pearls & small octagonal crystal chandelier drops, bought some wire on a roll & threaded each alternately into 2(ish) metre lengths & just put my silver & gold baubles on the tree. Turned out it was quite effective so guess what, I have orders from friends to do the same for them this year so I'm going to be busy again! I had some pearls & the odd Crystal left over so made some little hanging decs by threading them into circles. So simple but they shine gloriously if placed strategically in front of the tree lights.

    If you struggle with gardening as I do try planting up in pots, far fewer weeds! We haven't done it here in the UK as our garden's not large enough but we had lots of raised beds in our garden in Spain which was a lot easier to tend. I'm sorry I've no suggestions to make your photography easier, unless there's such a thing as a lightweight one that would do a reasonable job & you could Photoshop any issues. If I take any pics they're on my phone so it shows how much I know but you'll have a better idea if that's feasible!

    Hope you receive lots of goods ideas & one hits the spot to busy you! :)

  • hi another good idea, if you would like to see my photo,s I am on flicker june@photo.com

  • June...they're beautiful! Is there a way you could be "crafty" with the images you already have? I'm not sure quite how as I don't do cards or anything but if you could find a way of reproducing them to use in cards, gift tags & such, you could even set up a little eBay shop/business account. Easy enough to do from home & if you have a quick scoot around on there & see what others are selling to get inspiration & you do do something a ittle different to what others are doing & promote them as your own images?

  • Hi junebee

    I love your photos and really hope you can source a new camera that you can manage.

    Just to add to what others have suggested, have you looked at all the small craft type businesses on eBay selling decorated stationary, handmade cards, jewellery etc? I have a friend who makes jewellery, buys beads etc wholesale or on eBay and sells to friends or on fb. Very satisfying and earns her a little extra :-). If you do decide to go down this route I would suggest choosing something small, light and easy to post out.

    Good luck and would love to hear if you find something that suits you. X

  • Sorry June I meant to say craft type businesses on fb......but I think some on eBay as well x

  • hi thank you for looking at my photo,s I have got myself a smaller camera but have not felt like using it since my husband died as this was something I started to do when I was disabled and it gave him a pastime so I joined in we had a great time ,I have not been able to look at the photo album yet .

  • Can you think about drawing? When I retired I started going to art classes at local art college. There was company of like minded people. You can work small scale maybe a series of drawings. Matisse had RA really badly. Xx

  • Can you think about drawing? When I retired I started going to art classes at local art college. There was company of like minded people. You can work small scale maybe a series of drawings. Matisse had RA really badly. Xx

  • Can you think about drawing? When I retired I started going to art classes at local art college. There was company of like minded people. You can work small scale maybe a series of drawings. Matisse had RA really badly. Xx

  • Can you think about drawing? When I retired I started going to art classes at local art college. There was company of like minded people. You can work small scale maybe a series of drawings. Matisse had RA really badly. Xx

  • Can you think about drawing? When I retired I started going to art classes at local art college. There was company of like minded people. You can work small scale maybe a series of drawings. Matisse had RA really badly. Xx

  • Can you think about drawing? When I retired I started going to art classes at local art college. There was company of like minded people. You can work small scale maybe a series of drawings. Matisse had RA really badly. Xx

  • Can you think about drawing? When I retired I started going to art classes at local art college. There was company of like minded people. You can work small scale maybe a series of drawings. Matisse had RA really badly. Xx

  • Can you think about drawing? When I retired I started going to art classes at local art college. There was company of like minded people. You can work small scale maybe a series of drawings. Matisse had RA really badly. Xx

  • Can you think about drawing? When I retired I started going to art classes at local art college. There was company of like minded people. You can work small scale maybe a series of drawings. Matisse had RA really badly. Xx

  • Can you think about drawing? When I retired I started going to art classes at local art college. There was company of like minded people. You can work small scale maybe a series of drawings. Matisse had RA really badly. Xx

  • Can you think about drawing? When I retired I started going to art classes at local art college. There was company of like minded people. You can work small scale maybe a series of drawings. Matisse had RA really badly. Xx

  • Can you think about drawing? When I retired I started going to art classes at local art college. There was company of like minded people. You can work small scale maybe a series of drawings. Matisse had RA really badly. Xx

  • Can you think about drawing? When I retired I started going to art classes at local art college. There was company of like minded people. You can work small scale maybe a series of drawings. Matisse had RA really badly. Xx

  • Can you think about drawing? When I retired I started going to art classes at local art college. There was company of like minded people. You can work small scale maybe a series of drawings. Matisse had RA really badly. Xx

  • thank you I will look into that your reply as come through a good few times

  • I'm sorry, my ipad doesn't tell me when things go through

  • Cathie the same thing happens to me on my iPhone - either that or it freezes and I lose a carefully composed post! But you can delete your 10 or so repeat posts easily enough by scrolling down to edit in box below and clicking delete. This helps as otherwise people may miss new responses because of all of your repeats. But mind you don't accidentally delete the original one too as I did recently with Barrister! X

  • When I read your post i wondered about you joining a gardening club. Did you belong before to win prizes?You can meet people who are interested in gardening (and most of them won't be the know all sort that I can't stand). Sharing an interest can make it so much easier to be with people and you might want to be thinking about that too.

  • Lovely photos. If you are not on pinterest you could put some there and link with craft ideas inspired by the scene and colours etc - maybe for days when RD means you can't be so active.

  • For me it sounds like you are rushing things a little. I think doing your cards and photography are a great idea but you seem to really need to talk to someone a bit more in depth about your two great losses and help slowly come yo terms with those, losing with RA and the loss of your wonderful husband.. I spoke to CRUSE when I was in a similar situation who were wonderful and helped me do much adapt to my life changes. Also the NRAS helpline help me cope with all sorts of things from my RA to being retired on ill health , to recently my daughters ill health and my course of radiotherapy. Their number is on the main website nras.org.uk and when you have managed a little with your feelings the days don't seem do long, and yes enjoy those hobbies . Xxxxxxx i hope this doesn't upset you but I too tried to hide behind doing things but once I had talked about how much my life had changed I started to move forward ... A bit!! Xxxxxxx

  • wow thank you for your kind reply you have not upset me but hit the nail on the head I am so glad I found this site such good people have took the time to help me thank you

  • I would defiantly reiterate the last reply and would add my encouragement to you to get emotional support. For the future it might help to know that although I'm not really that confident to meet new people. i have found doing an adult education class a good way to get out but because we are all focussing on a task it feels easier to be with people I don't know. Best wishes

  • Just sent you a private message of ideas.

  • I know exactly how you feel. My husband died 4 years ago. I have taken up knitting again. It helps with my hands and I find it relaxing. However, my favourite hobby, especially as the nights are drawing in, is Cross Stitch. I have done some really good works and I get a great deal of pleasure when I insert the very last stitch and see the completed object!

  • hi I have considered doing this I would love to turn my photo,s into cross stitching but was not sure how my hand would cope ,I don't want to do anything that will make them worse tried the knitting and my wrists were swollen .

  • When I was in New York last week I went to a book launch and panel discussion with three writers who all tag themselves as Craftivists.

    One of them, a Canadian called Leanne Prain, had published a book using our artwork on the cover and featuring us inside. It was all about unexpected embroidery and many of the artists featured in it are completely whacky. We spoke about disability in relation to Craftivism and one of the writers, a woman called Bestsy Greer, agreed with me that there were many Craftivists who have used their making skills to find new form of income and also to improve their self esteem and inner confidence. She explained that she suffers from post traumatic stress disorder and is interested in exploring and writing about people who have used their making skills to overcome their PTSD. You could google Craftivism if you think this sounds interesting?

    I kind of agree with Allanah too though re running before we can walk. You are still quite newly bereaved after all.

    I know that when I was newly diagnosed, having recently lost both my parents quite suddenly and unexpectedly - I enrolled on and was offered a full bursary to do an MLit in Scottish literature. I was waking all through the night in pain and panic. Eventually some friends came for a meal and I told them what I was about to do and showed them the lengthy reading list. They pointed out that as I could barely write, was living in splints and on strong pain killers and couldn't hold a book - this plan was a bit ambitious! They both told me that I was capable of doing it but would be nuts to try at this point in my life. I pulled out the next day and have never regretted this.

    I'm not saying it is the same with you as you are obviously an accomplished person already - wanting to extend your creative skills now - but it important to keep the balance right and only take on things that won't make you sicker or give you more pain. I say this as someone who can be a bit masochistoc and perverse so this may not apply to you but living on your own takes a lot of guts and energy in itself and I would say that it is good to do things that keep you in contact with others in similar positions to yourself so you become part of a community/ network.

    Craftivism is all about this kind of support network so may be ideal direction to take but I suggest you take it one step at a time and read up and don't do anything too strenuous that causes you more pain or hurts your wee finger joints please! Stitching has been my life for about ten years now but when my ra was really bad in my hands I had to stop for a year and it has definitely shaped my fingers a bit! X

  • thank you for you reply it is most touching ,you have all brought a tear to my eyes just knowing that a stranger cares just gives you hope that the world can still be a wonderful place even in times of adversity, these conditions that are never ending get so much overlooked as a constant moan. you have all lifted my spirits this week thank you

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