Thinking that I fed up of being on my own been 6 years now. Unfortunately it's hard meeting anyone when not well!
Single: Thinking that I fed up of being on my own been... - NRAS
Single
Written by
Crazyjo
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40 Replies
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Ra starting get bad end of 2010 although think it was lurking around before then. No relationship ended as had an unfaithful husband. What about yourself was the ra the cause
Your right it is hard. You will find a lot of help and support on here, lean on people when you need to. I still struggle everyday but it is slowly changing for me as my meds start working better. Never give up hope that things will get better x
Hello singletons, I am also single and just don't feel that I could cope with a relationship. When tired, I do as I wish and I don't have to find excuses or pretend. That's the positive aspect of being single. Fortunately, it's suits me and I have many good friends to go out with. I am able to cope when not well. I prefer to be on my own and deal with it in my own way. I'm still able to cycle and this has changed my life. It makes me feel so alive and able! Sorry I don't have a magic wand for you!
I must admit I don't think I could actually cope with making the effort in a relationship at the moment. Maybe once the ra is more under control x
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that you get the right med for you. In the meantime, we've got this site or we could start our own website for singletons who have chronic illnesses!!
Ive been single for 4 years and ive got to say its not great!
I suppose I miss someone to lean on when things get tough,sometimes find it hard to cope on bad days!
seems I`m not on my own tho thank god for this site, at least us singletons can let off some steam lol!
A small comfort maybe but one none the less.
Tom
Crazyjo in reply to
Tom, I think that's what I would like someone to lean on really. Can't say I miss the support as never really had any of that even when I was married
in reply to Crazyjo
I understand what you mean about having the energy to start a relationship. It is easier not have to worry about anyone other than yourself at times.
I`m 53 and never imagined I`d be alone at this time in my life!
Thanks for replying its nice to know someone is listening haha!
Crazyjo in reply to
I am 42 and living back at my parents. Definitely didn't see that one coming
in reply to Crazyjo
your still young and there`s nothing wrong with living with your parents! sometimes wish I was lol 
Crazyjo in reply to
It's definitely cheaper which helps as lost my job due to the ra last year. And do have their help when I can't do things
in reply to Crazyjo
I lost my job too! I was medically retired last year. its good you have help I live alone and find it tough at times. I take it you don't have children then?
Crazyjo in reply to
No couldn't have them which with the way I am now is probably a blessing. I have my cat and dog
in reply to Crazyjo
that's a shame! I miss my cats and dog, my ex kept them 
nomoreheels in reply to
Will you two get on with it & pm one another, or get a room!!!!!!!
Stranger things have happened lol 
Both in same boat mate I got RA for 12 years life is so blank some time I cry but life is only one .so I gone fighter now . If I can help you or someone . Any kind of support I am glad
i was diagnoised 4 years ago. at the time i was in a 7 year long relationship that i really thought was for the rest of my life. i was in my early 60's then so i expected this would be the last time i would be single. my disease just ran through me in the space of about 6 months while the rheumy team were trying to find the right drugs for me. after 18 months i ended up on Bio's. anyhow i could sense slight changes in his attitude towards me, not always, there were times when he was lovely.....but as i got worse he became more distant and then one day when we had made planes to go somewhere he simply didn't show up! i foned, no reply so i foned again, again no reply. then 6 weeks later he came to the house stood in the middle of the floor and said that he had a life and he wanted to get on with it, turned on his heel and walked out! that was 3 and a half years ago.......i can't begin to tell you what that was like on top of the worst 9 months of pain i have ever had in my life. i lost three stone of weight and became a recluse.
fast forward to today. well, i can't say my life is all that i would like it to be but it is better. unfortunately he and i live very close to each other so we drive past one another and just sort of wave, you know the way you do, sort of lift your finger, that kind of thing. it hurts still as i loved this man like no other in my life. my RD is now almost under control and i am no longer a recluse. i don't have the energy i used to have and my friends have more or less got on with their own lives with the exception of a few loyal ones. i do go out but very rearly. i'm happy enough with my life now, it could be better but its alright.
being on your own has its benefits too. i don't have to worry about how someone else it coping with me not feeling very well, coping with this disease is more than enough at times. do i get lonely? yes of course. would i take in someone to live with me, no, i don't think i would? would i like someone to SHARE life with, yes of course?
if i meet someone that would be nice if not, thats alright too. now its easy for me to say as i'm now in my mid 60's.........but i have to stress i'm a very young 60's......my ex and i were Harley bikers and we had a fabulous social life. for me that suddenly came to and end.
i think i'm just more concerned about keeping my life as easy as i can make it for ME. thats my priority at present. you younger one's are different and i do really hope you find what is right for you and maybe who is right for you. XX
To be honest it's only some days I feel lonely and would like someone there to share the ups and downs with. Most of the time I think it easier being on my own especially when feeling to rough to make the effort for someone. I been married twice but unfortunately I am not very good with my choice of men so I probably would be better off on my own x
You stick in there Crazyjo, there's a mate for all of us & maybe he needs to do the choosing, not you? x
Problem is I hardly go anywhere to meet anyone lol x
Effort, girl, effort as my old games teacher used to say to me! You've got a new automatic car, do some cruising!!
Are there any particular social activities, within capability, you enjoy? Maybe have a search through the local paper, We get a free magazine pushed though the letterbox monthly for our area with all sorts of activities going on, do you? You could maybe go to something with a girlfriend if you don't want to go on your own. We're fortunate here on the coast as there's always something going on year round.
Not much goes on here really. Problem Is most my mates got young kids so can't always get out with me to do something different. I will have to have a good think of things to do x
in reply to Jeanabelle60
I have to admit I got a little emotional reading your reply!
I hope im not wrong in saying its a shame he didn't have the strength and character to stand by you.
Its not a life sentence and can be controlled given time, nice to read that you have stayed positive.
Tom x
Crazyjo in reply to
We split before ra became an issue he couldn't very faithful. If stayed together he would not of been the type to support me x
Would it be good if you two could get in touch?
My thoughts too pineapple! Joint dating agency contracts being drawn up after typing this. Wanna be partners? Already suggested them pm'ing one another to flanners, but he said I was cheeky
Yea little cheeky lol
in reply to nomoreheels
I was joking I didn't offend you did I?
nomoreheels in reply to
If this is meant for me flanners, nooooooo. I don't offend easily! Just my northern sense of humour can be lost sometimes when written. If it's not meant for me, over to you Crazyjo.
in reply to nomoreheels
It was meant for you nomoreheels
nomoreheels in reply to
No! I may be small in frame but have very broad shoulders! This situation can be a problem with the written word, it's been spoken about on here before. Intonations can't be heard & I gave the example of me getting myself in 'trouble' when speaking Spanish as they rely on it in conversation & if you get it slightly wrong what you're intending to say can take on a whole new meaning! I've never upset anyone, more made them laugh & often broken the ice with it when meeting for the first time & made many Spanish friends along the way being unintentionally memorable with my faux pas!!
I've posted a request on BETA for smileys to be added to help get over the problem. Hope they take it up then this situation should arise again.
Hiya crazyjo im single to and have been now for over 10 years yes its lonely and when ill and cant get out of bed no one around to make a cuppa or a nice hotwater bottle were do you live i live bury way maybe we are near enough to meet i have no friends now they have all drifted away they all had partners and ur left out angiexx
I not sure where Bury is Angus. I live in Havant near portsmouth
I have in the past done Internet dating, not sure if fancy doing year again
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