After a stormy ride yesterday, I made it smoke-free, though bruised and battered, but unscathed by nicotine.
Some things needs to be addressed, in my life, and as part of this journey to an addiction free world.
First, as a note to self, I used to lean on nicotine as a crutch, and provide a pillar of strength to the home in parallel. Now that nicotine has to be out of life somehow, I do feel kinda shakey, but it should be a passing phase. It has to be ! I then need to draw strength from another source, I'm sure I'll figure it out, every family is different.
Second, this quit has to be for myself, it cannot, and can never be for my OH, or for other people. Otherwise, it will simply collapse like a pack of cards in a gale, easily. :eek: I'm doing it for me, and no one else. This is the ONLY way to succeed, I believe.
Third, work on my delays to triggers, especially the curveballs. Thinking of delaying tactics helps me. E.g. I so need to have one now, and I'll tell myself, "fine go buy a pack, not now, not tomorow, but you know what, just go buy an entire carton (or 10 packs; different brands), next Monday, and go through them next Monday, the nearest Monday. Whatever it is, it cannot be TODAY, but I promise you, the nearest Monday, if you still feel like this, do it. Then go find a corner, burn through the entire carton/packs and start from Day 1, IF you feel like it. " :eek::eek:
Mr Nicodemon is more than satisfied usually, and will settle down to wait, but strangely, he has a short memory span, I'm not sure why. We never gotten to that Monday, thus far.
To my junkie brain, I can't think beyond a week, so I guess the above works for me, for now.
Wonderful forum, fantastic people, and penning this down feels strangely therapeutic.