Well you lot are used to my positivity but this week I am feeling the pain and have had an emotional rollercoaster all week. I have had serious rage at work to the point I have had to work on my own for one day and admitted I need help on Friday. My rage is irrational, I get mad at people breathing, eating, not doing as I ask, the more it happens the more they feed the rage. Friday 5pm couldn't have come quick enough. My colleagues have noticed I am not my usual nails self and who is usually the most laid back of my team and able to take all that is given me.
I am putting it down to stopping the Champix. Not had any for over a week, and before that I was lucky to remember to take one a day, hence why I took the decision go CT. I can truly say its not the not smoking as I have no desire to have a cig even when my rage was at its worst and the OH was chuffing away beside me. I can see I have irrational rage so I presume that is a good thing.
Had a fews beers yesterday and got all emotional over my rage to the point my fella had a soggy shoulder as I sobbed my heart out.
Today however I feel so much better but then we all do after a good cry.
Not looking forward to work this week, but I did ask for help with my workload and I got a positive response from some of my colleagues which is good. I will have to have a word with one of the team as he was the start of the rage trigger and I can help him to help me ( old school fella who has a lack of understanding of technology and new processes). I will also ask my boss for some more alone time so I can restrict the little triggers until I am in better control as the drugs leave my system and I locate my coping mechanisms again.
We are all fallible sometimes.
STAY STRONG FOLKS, THERE'S A DEMON OUT THERE !!!!! Lol