emotional overload

[nsd_user663_62083]

Well you lot are used to my positivity but this week I am feeling the pain and have had an emotional rollercoaster all week. I have had serious rage at work to the point I have had to work on my own for one day and admitted I need help on Friday. My rage is irrational, I get mad at people breathing, eating, not doing as I ask, the more it happens the more they feed the rage. Friday 5pm couldn't have come quick enough. My colleagues have noticed I am not my usual nails self and who is usually the most laid back of my team and able to take all that is given me.

I am putting it down to stopping the Champix. Not had any for over a week, and before that I was lucky to remember to take one a day, hence why I took the decision go CT. I can truly say its not the not smoking as I have no desire to have a cig even when my rage was at its worst and the OH was chuffing away beside me. I can see I have irrational rage so I presume that is a good thing.

Had a fews beers yesterday and got all emotional over my rage to the point my fella had a soggy shoulder as I sobbed my heart out.

Today however I feel so much better but then we all do after a good cry.

Not looking forward to work this week, but I did ask for help with my workload and I got a positive response from some of my colleagues which is good. I will have to have a word with one of the team as he was the start of the rage trigger and I can help him to help me ( old school fella who has a lack of understanding of technology and new processes). I will also ask my boss for some more alone time so I can restrict the little triggers until I am in better control as the drugs leave my system and I locate my coping mechanisms again.

We are all fallible sometimes.

STAY STRONG FOLKS, THERE'S A DEMON OUT THERE !!!!! Lol

[nsd_user663_62313]

Hi Mrs Joy

Likewise, I have no experience of Champix but I'm still rooting for you. What I see is a really honest and sensible approach! I need you to get to the Penthouse before me so you can give me the lay of the land!!!

[nsd_user663_62083]

Thanks guys, it's why I like the forum so I can it off my chest. Don't worry badgepup, the penthouse already has my reservation so will give you the loiw down when I get there. Might have drunk the champagne but we will get some more in lol x

[nsd_user663_60964]

Poor you Mrs Joy :(.

Tell you what, you're far from alone in the way you're feeling. Read some of Angry Bear's early posts for example and you'll see that the red mist rage interspersed with feeling utterly devastated is quite normal (and will pass along with all the other quitting side-effects).

The main thing is you're still here, you're still determined and you have support (from everyone here as well as your OH). People who care about you will understand and people who don't understand can bog off as far as I am concerned.

Hope you have a better day today.

[nsd_user663_62023]

I was truly shocked by my anger. It actually scared me as I'm such a laid back, calm person. I have never experienced anything like it in my life.

To be honest I didn't think it was quitting as I had a lot going on in my life and it was weeks into the quit.

After reading your post it totally mirrors my experience, I knew I was being totally irrational and could not help myself. I too wept the anger away, it was the only thing that helped, smoking didn't even occur to me.

I took a couple of days off work as I felt I really couldn't cope being around people, unheard of for me. It faded from the scary heights it reached pretty quickly and now I'm totally back to calm and rational though still a bit more emotional but as I said that might be life not the quit.

Hope it fades quickly for you too.

[nsd_user663_59644]

Hi Mrs Joy

Likewise, I have no experience of Champix but I'm still rooting for you. What I see is a really honest and sensible approach! I need you to get to the Penthouse before me so you can give me the lay of the land!!!

Hi badge you so remind me of some one? But for the life of me can't think who?

Great advice😃

[nsd_user663_62313]

Who? Who, Trace? Do spill

[nsd_user663_60964]

Who? Who, Trace? Do spill

Badge/Sam's style is similar in some ways I think to Sherri B (who hasn't posted for a while incidentally- I hope she is OK?) I thought of Sherri when I read one of Sam's first posts.

Is that who you were thinking of Tracey?

Mrs J, hope things are better for you today by the way.

[nsd_user663_59305]

My anger threshold has decreased since quitting, but I hold on to it for less time - for example, I used to let things build up and build up when I smoked subconsciously using the cigs as a vent as I felt permanently stressed - now I'll have a five minute "fit" then everything is forgotten, I think the exercise is helping with that too. Don't forget you are changing the chemical composition of your brain, the champix is shielding the nicotine receptors so even if you did smoke you wouldn't get a hit - but it takes a while to retrain the brain to release endorphins naturally rather than as a response to nicotine. My advice would be to let rip with a bit of primal screaming, crying and pillow punching - it really does help

[nsd_user663_62083]

Thanks guys. Feel TONS better today. Had a word with the guy at work, made my boss aware of my issues, off loaded some of my work and had a good day all round. Even better I have lost 4lb this last week according to the scales

Answer, get rid of the problem by dealing with the cause at source.

Feel strangely calm today which I hope is a good thing.

[nsd_user663_60964]

Now that sounds much more the thing Mrs J!

SO glad to hear things have settled down and that you're feeling better. Congratulations on your weight loss too!