is this the real me? or is it the lack of smoke?

[nsd_user663_53649]

Ok, I know we can be a bit ratty when we give up smoking. But have any of you found that you are less tolerant of when people try to be unfair to you? . My sister who I Love dearly, is home from the uk at the moment, when she has family weddings etc, I always have to stay in a hotel because she HAS to have her husbands only brother to stay, I understand only brother type thing, fair enough. However at the moment her husbands mother is very very ill, so she and her husband are staying home to be with her, . This is nice, and lovely for my brother in laws mother. However said ONLY brother lives only 15 miles from me..... and as at family weddings and stuff , he always stays with them, I assumed he would look after my brother in law, take him to see mom etc..... NO.............. NO........ WHTF? NO???????? he although having no children and four spare bedrooms said he is just not cut out to keep guests and his wife likes it that way. So I END UP WITH THEM FOR WEEKS ON END........ ok, I don't mind helping out, but REMEMBER I had to get a hotel when I went to the uk, . I also felt sorry that as we live in rural Ireland, I insured my brother in law on my jeep for while his mother is not doing well, and they went to co Galway, ( two hours drive , for the weekend to visit other family on HIS SIDE) , so, I have a jeep for a reason, I need it for horseboxs, and we are publicans , we sometimes need to go collect stuff from cash and carry, or just swap kegs, etc. I txt this evening, and got the reply, " Oh decided to have a few days rest and recuperation, will see you both when we get back, perhaps next week)

I am fit to be tied, I am sooooooooooooooooooooo cross. I want to smoke, but I don't want to smoke, was I always so ****** stupid? . ( do not say yes)

[nsd_user663_59642]

You don't want to smoke, Biddypat..........it wouldn't sort things out and it wouldn't even taste nice. It would actually make things worse because you would feel vile.......you know that it would be like inhaling from a bonfire :eek: and you would feel light-headed and dizzy and disappointed with yourself.

Families can be very trying. Are you brave enough to phone your brother and tell him that you need the jeep and that next week is just not on? Or can you manage until then but make sure that this situation doesn't arise again in the future.....sort of put your foot down.

Sorry if I have spoken out of turn............family relationships can be minefelds at times, but I hope it gets rectified soon.

Val

xxx

[nsd_user663_59305]

Ahhh, Biddypat, you only have to read through a couple of the live threads on here to notice how intolerant of anything quitting makes us. When I first quit anyone who dared breath in the wrong direction was fair game in my book, I bet you remember that feeling, almost like a heavy weight, gradually lifting the further on into the quit you got. I think smoking probably dulled the "flare" response you are now feeling as before, instead of dealing with the issue, you had a fag then said "oh, that's ok" whilst inside you were seething but kept your "cool" by puffing away. I think the fags probably affected our reactions and decision making more than we realised. You don't really want to smoke, you want the release you think you got from smoking. Get out into the middle of nowhere and scream, scream until your voice goes - OK, the wildlife might think you're touched, but you will feel so much better for it. You will find that balance again but for now, enjoy Christmas with your closest family, and in the new year, show the rest of your family a new, confident, self assured you

[nsd_user663_53649]

Thank you folks for your replies, you will be glad to know that I didn't say anything wrong, and better yet I didn't smoke. I was annoyed then got worse the more I pondered the situation. in the past yes I would have had a few smokes, and just delt with it. I suppose we are a tad more edgy than normal. I have had a few days in the past week where I have had challenges and triggers thrown at me, Friday was a total pain. I even scratched the car, and I pride myself on my driving grrrrrrrrr. It was such a simple thing to happen, I was in a rush and just kept too close to a bollard on the way out of the bank car park. I was so annoyed, and yes the monster said have a smoke calm down, but I decided that wouldn't fix the car, so I just kept driving and came home instead of going shopping and getting myself in a worse tizzy. I then put up my Christmas tree and got tree sap in my hair, . So by the end of the day I had a hair style like wurzle gummage, ( for the older readers) and I put up my feet beside the fire, admired the tree, had a glass of baileys with a drop of brandy in it, ( really nice you should try that ) and complimented my tree, and myself for not smoking. I have been FLYING since, it is like I never smoked, no crave, no desire, well not since the scratching the car incident anyway.