How do you explain it??

Im really struggling to explain how I feel to my OH!?

Ive been smoke free now for 71 days (14 of these CT), and Ive not really craved as such, but as you know, the last few days have been really tough for Ive tried to explain to my OH whats going on with me...see, I dont feel that my depressive and extremely low mood is solely down to my quit, I think there is something that is triggering this mood which is in turn leading me to want the comfort of a ciggie....OR is this the nature of this beast to warp my mind to thinking that way!? You see I KNOW there are things on my mind, as does my why does he insist on being to stupid to get where im coming from!!!??? :confused::confused::confused: More annoyingly, when I get frustrated because I cant explain it, he takes a mood with me!!?? WTF :eek:

So, does anybody else understand what I mean, and if so (oh please im on me knees praying im not alone in this thought!) how do you explain what it is your mind is doing so that someone who is still a slave to the ciggies gets it!!?? lol

Thankou!!! :D

6 Replies

  • Let me have a pop at this one then, hi Mel! And firstly, this is the internet and I'm an amateur, so take this as intended - supportive but make your own mind up.

    Remember the post I made a while back with the pictures of the brain? What's happening inside your head? Well here's what's happening.....

    As smokers who continued to stubbornly flood our brains with nicotine, and we developed significantly more of a certain type of receptor to cope with it. Maybe 20-30% more than non-smokers.

    Now these receptors are involved (I think) with the regulation of dopamine, which makes us feel good. This may be one of the reasons we 'enjoyed' smoking. The lack of nicotine disrupts the receptors' regulation of dopamine, and other neurochemicals involved in reinforcing the 'positive' effects of smoking. Lower dopamine levels means you feel rubbish! :(

    Other symptoms are moodiness and lethargy. I certainly had my fair share of those!

    Your brain is changing and for the better, it too needs to 'get back to normal'. You're only 14 days free of nicotine, these receptors are still reducing, this recalibration process takes a few weeks once your body is nicotine free. Here's another post from the sticky library to help: Craves and why you feel so bad..... bellablue

    Look positively on this, you're properly adjusting to not smoking and are really are doing very well indeed!! :)

  • Have you tried crying. All the men in my life past and present seem to turn into jelly when they see a tear :D

    This is all I seem to do anyway lately, its what has started my concerns off...

    If I were you I would put on hold trying to talk to your OH. I would talk things through about how you feel with friends and I would definitely have a chat with your GP. The latter will tell you if the smoking was hiding your feelings about something maybe you don't even know is there.

    This, actually makes sense to me if I think back to how I was feeling before I quit.....I was under alot of stress plus had a really bad chest infection...

    Thankyou Karri...I think you may have just hit the proverbial nail on its head here :D:D x

  • I believe it could well be quit related. The nicotine monster is trying to get you back and you just need to be stronger than ever now. I don't think you OH will understand, but we will so keep talking. We have all been through various stages during our quits and therefore there is bound to be someone who understands!

    Hope you are feeling happier soon!!!

    Sarah x

  • I went through a really tough time last year when I tried to quit. My ex and I were nearing the end of our relationship. We fought about smoking a few times but I don't think it was an issue at that point. My experience was that the stress from quitting amplified my feelings about our relationship, which put me in a pretty depressed mood for a while.

    I think if you make things right with your OH, smoking or otherwise, you will start to feel much better about your quit. If you really think he is "too stupid to understand" and you talk to each other that way, then you two are communicating in a very unhealthy and unproductive manner. I lost my last quit because I gave up on everything, it's a downward spiral I tell you. Going back to smoking didn't fix anything. Good luck, I hope you feel better soon.


  • Hi

    You posted this yesterday so hopefully today's a new day and u might feel a bit better? If not however can I just stick my 2 pence worth in, I am just like you right now, very tearful feeling depressed and down, as someone who has suffered depression and been down the anti depressant route etc I know for a fact mine is solely to do with quitting cigs, I possibly think yours is too, as Hawk eye said lack of nicotine messes with dopamine levels and seretonin aswell which is what makes us feel happy... Quitting smoking is EXTREMELY stressful add to that the cold dark nights and the added stress of Xmas looming, present buying, big food shop, auntie Mabel coming to stay etc etc and it's no wonder u are feeling down.

    My advice is treat yourself to something be it a bath, magazine, new top, shoes whatever and acknowledge and be so very proud of what you have achieved, let the tears flow and embrace it that's what I'm trying to do its all part of the withdrawal process and 1 step closer to being free from cigarettes once and for all.

    I would say tho after Xmas if your still feeling low go and have a chat with ur doctor don't let it carry on for a prolonged period you never know tho a bit of Festive cheer, an only fools and horses rerun and a big fat baileys might be just what you need, take care. Xx.

  • Im only a junior here but Id like to try and help. I have to try and explain things to my OH too.

    Maybe ask him to read some of the posts on here? Or try and relate it to something he is addicted to? Like I say to my OH, what if you were in a room and you knew the formula one/ football etc was on next door and you just want a little peak but you know you cant and its on your mind and its making you itchy and you just need a hug or something to take your mind off it.

    As for the comfort of having a cigarette, I thought the same and had a blip early in this quit. Its not worth it, it doesnt make you feel more comfortable because afterwards you get stressed in losing all what you have achieved so far. Then you think what was the point in all of that?


You may also like...