And Here I am Again

[nsd_user663_35711]

Well its been 11 months since Ive logged onto this site. I had a stumble, I fell. I stumbled again, I fell and in the end I thought stuff it Im never going to be able to stop.

Well here I am again, back on the wagon and will be on my 7th day as of midnight. I don't know what. if anything, will be different this time.

When I have stopped before I have felt healthy, planned my quit day, attended smoking clinics. This time I just thought Im going to stop this tomorrow and I did. Im in the depressed part of my cycle too which makes it even more amazing to me.

How long will it last this time? I have no idea. All I do know is that its going to be one day at a time. If I fall, then I fall. I wont beat myself up about it. All I will be able to do is climb on the wagon again. Until then Im going to enjoy the fact that today I didn't smoke.

Quick wave to anyone who was here with me before xxx

[nsd_user663_18145]

Hi Lillie good to see you back with us

sorry to hear about the stumble

BUT

the fact your back ready to do battle again is brilliant

try and keep your mindsite focused and positive i know thats easier said but come on here when you feel like your going to give up first and post

i look forward to reading your updates

onwards and upwards is the only way to go

hugs

Carol x

[nsd_user663_35711]

Thanks Carol x

Its very strange this time, strange but good.

Many people have said to me that you can stop only if you really want to. I always thought I wanted to in the past.

What I wanted really was to stop spending money on them, to stop coughing all the time, to stop going outside in the wind and rain to have one. What I didn't really want to do was stop smoking in order to achieve all the above.

I think I now understand what these people meant.

Yes I have copd and need to stop

Yes it costs me as much as my petrol bill and I don't want to spend over £300 a month on petrol or cigs

Yes I wont have to standout in the wind and rain to feed an addiction.

At the end of the day none of these things matter unless I want to stop and it appears that this time I do xxxx

[nsd_user663_35711]

Thanks Max

Hey Una, yes it definitely feels very different this time, but no pressure one day at a time xxx