Still getting that lil niggle. Earlier i got quite upset thinking about my dad thinking if only he had done what i am doing now maybe he would still be here, but i cant do that one or ill do my head in. He is defo telling me to do this from up there, i can feel it all the time.
The ONLY thing that really sets me off is clubbing. Which im doing tomorrow. I was trying on what im wearing tomorrow as im packing for staying overnight at a friends and for 5 minutes i had a little panic thinking 'how am i supposed to go clubbing a non smoker...like how!?' Me and my friends spent a lot of our time outside when we go clubbing, smoking and mucking about. I am very determined though. In all my last attempts if i had booked to go clubbing on the monday for the saturday.. i would just go and spark up because i would know i would smoke on the saturday so didnt see the point in waiting (ridiculous).
This time however i generally feel calm and assured that i wont smoke. I have all my weapons packed. ecig, herbal cigs, spray and mints everything except 20 Bensons lol. i dont plan of using one after the other in desperation, ill try and just be a non smoker but it is quite soon after my quit and i dont want to fail i really dont!
Next time i post i should be on day 12 on Sunday :eek:
x
