Ok so had a pretty dark evening last night. First of the major bad times and i like the good times. Cant deal with the bad times. (Someshow if you saythe last two sentences with an Irish accent it sounds prettier ha ha)
Anyway i kinda stepped out of line yesterday with someone and it was playing on my mind and who should knock on the imaginery door in my head. Captain Cigarrette your good old pal who never judges and lets you down and is there for you through thick and thin. (I wish you could swear in this thing).
Even right said fred couldnt help. I did the only thing i could think of. I went out in the rain and sorted my garden out. Always enjoy that. Then i showered and got coffee, sat in my pants and watched youve been framed. Tonight Matthew i am going to be a SLOB.
Went to bed feeling sorry for myself (pathetic) and woke up feeling (dont laugh) a little emotional. I mean im not blubbing or anything like that but my hard exterior is definitely not as tough as i am used to. I mean show me one of those adverts where the dog has been abandoned and through your donated money they are rescued and found a good home. That'll be it game over. im gone!!!
So i decided maybe i'll man up today. Too much camp is affecting me i think, and my boss doesnt like it when i wear high heels to work.
Im gonna pull out the special weapons today. The songs we had at our wedding. Check this out, it was the coolest day ever.
Firstly Jess walked down the isle to the Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter (what an intro just ignore the chorus of Rape Murder. Very weddingy)
We signed the register to Suede - Trash (no one got the irony ha ha)
We left the registery office to Iggy Pop - Lust for life
Finally our first dance was Ocean Colour Scene - Get blown away (who cares it is about a prostitute. It has meaning to us. Just to clarify that isnt how we met ha ha)
So there you have it. Gonna fight to get my mojo back. Didnt help this morning with Skunk Anansie on the way to work and weep playing. I nearly crashed the car!!!
Anyway stay cool people and welcome to another day on planet struggle. We fight our individual battles as a collective. Together we can achieve anything. (apart from time travel maybe. Actually if someone can invent time travel can you go back to when i had my first cigarrette and kick my ****!!!)
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LOL...love your post (in a positive way, that is...not a 'laughing at your misfortune kind of way' :eek:)Well done (love the songs to your wedding, btw...we got married in black & white & all the guests wore it as a laugh...the registrar cracked up)
Sounds like you're using the right things to distract you from Nick O'Teen...
The down times are some of the worst, I've found
Went to bed feeling sorry for myself (pathetic) and woke up feeling (dont laugh) a little emotional. I mean im not blubbing or anything like that but my hard exterior is definitely not as tough as i am used to. I mean show me one of those adverts where the dog has been abandoned and through your donated money they are rescued and found a good home. That'll be it game over. im gone!!
Me, I make sure I don't watch anything that can trigger pools of tears or turn me into a sodden mess (tho even Spongebob can do it to me at these times! ;)) 5 weeks down in my quit & I caught myself snarling then wailing suddenly out of nowhere so I took myself to bed with a good book & read till I couldn't keep my eyes open.
As for the high heels, very impractical & definitely might give the boss the wrong idea
Had to click on your post as the Simon and Garfunkel song was running through my brain whilst reading it, good stuff.
Hang in there buddy, I can't pretend it's easy, 'if it was easy then everyone would do it' as my wife says. Use some of your strength to imagine the cravings as a bully and stand up to him, shout in his face 'I will not let you tell me what to do!'. I realise that sounds a bit corney mind you so sorry about that :p.
On a side note, great choice of songs at your wedding by the way, love it, we had smashing pumpkins 'today' playing when we walked out and our first dance was to Queens of the stone age 'wanna make it with you'.
Had to click on your post as the Simon and Garfunkel song was running through my brain whilst reading it, good stuff.
Hang in there buddy, I can't pretend it's easy, 'if it was easy then everyone would do it' as my wife says. Use some of your strength to imagine the cravings as a bully and stand up to him, shout in his face 'I will not let you tell me what to do!'. I realise that sounds a bit corney mind you so sorry about that :p.
On a side note, great choice of songs at your wedding by the way, love it, we had smashing pumpkins 'today' playing when we walked out and our first dance was to Queens of the stone age 'wanna make it with you'.
Chin up amigo
I LOVE the Smshing Pumpkins and that is one of my favourite songs.
You also got another song in my head now that may help. Bully boy by Shed seven. I'll fight you to the death!!!!!
Time to get on the up and up mate, come on, let's have a bash at my request for today's playlist:
I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down!
He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink, he drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink.
Sounds like my regular friday night. I'll get my smile back dont worry. Just gotta strighten something out with someone first. Bridge building. Me and my stupid tongue!!!
Hang in there - we all get a bit emotional during the early stages and the mood swings are unbelievable (welcome to a woman's world - I think it is quite close to PMS really). Keep singing your songs and the world will seem a happier place in a day or 2.
Kat brilliant song - thx for putting that one in my head today!
Listen im sorry people. I was a bit sulky today and im very pleased you all care enough to cheer me up. It has worked.
Sherri dont be silly, you havent put too much on me at all.
Listen im one of those people that get a little moody now and again and i just go away and be quiet. Doesnt take long to get me smiling again.
Oh and the good news is im still smoke free. The class A's are doing wonders though!!! (only joking Max)
Oh and Sarah. We can leave Barry at home if you like. I am partial to a little Rod Stewart every now and again though. Oooh i could go for some real loud Tina Turner with a Very large Southern Comfort!!!!
Listen im sorry people. I was a bit sulky today and im very pleased you all care enough to cheer me up. It has worked.
Sherri dont be silly, you havent put too much on me at all.
Listen im one of those people that get a little moody now and again and i just go away and be quiet. Doesnt take long to get me smiling again.
Oh and the good news is im still smoke free. The class A's are doing wonders though!!! (only joking Max)
Oh and Sarah. We can leave Barry at home if you like. I am partial to a little Rod Stewart every now and again though. Oooh i could go for some real loud Tina Turner with a Very large Southern Comfort!!!!
So glad to hear you have bounced back! You had us worried there!! Ooh now I fancy a large southern comfort (with coca cola as I have a very sweet tooth)!!
No Barry M but I was all ready to sing it for you to make you smile again. Oh well, another day...
We all get moody and go quiet or in some cases rant (or a mixture). It's allowed cos we are ex smokers and we are so clever for stopping!!!!
So glad to hear you have bounced back! You had us worried there!! Ooh now I fancy a large southern comfort (with coca cola as I have a very sweet tooth)!!
No Barry M but I was all ready to sing it for you to make you smile again. Oh well, another day...
We all get moody and go quiet or in some cases rant (or a mixture). It's allowed cos we are ex smokers and we are so clever for stopping!!!!
He he thank you. Cant keep me down for long. Skins too thick you see.
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