Another bad day!

I'm feeling like the walls are closing in on me. I thought that with the pressure from work easing this week, I would have got myself back together. Instead, it feels like I am fighting a new battle, with more things in my life going wrong.

Have tried getting out for a walk, but without going into much detail (I don't feel I can on an open forum) the atmosphere at home is far too oppressive, far too depressing.

I feel lost. In my head I have already smoked, though I haven't walked to the shop to pick up the evil stuff yet.

I'm desperately trying to reason with myself. I'm not stupid, I know that smoking isn't going to make my problems go away. But then I think that if I at least allow myself to smoke, then at least there will be one less battle going on inside me.

So although I'm still trying to be strong, I feel my resolve dwindling second by second.

I don't know if any of your messages of support would even help, so not sure why I'm typing this. Maybe it's because I just want to verbalise my feelings.


8 Replies

  • Nik......I am testimont to failure due to personnel problems......believe me you will feel worse if you reach for the death sticks......keep strong hun........

  • Thanks, all!

    Max, Kat,

    Not gone out yet. I'm running myself a bath. Hopefully, the feeling will pass by the end of it.

    I need to get my head straight.

    Thanks for your words of support. I just feel that I'm trying to deal with too many problems. :(



  • Hope you're feeling much better after a long soak. I think that when we are feeling down we should make an extra effort to be good to ourselves, what kinder thing can we do to our bodies than not smoke! Hope this passes quickly, you will feel so much stronger when it does. Lots of love. :)

  • Oh Shoegal, I know how you feel, but please believe a cigarette will make you feel worse. Believe in yourself and stay strong.:)

  • Hey Nik, please hang in there!!!

    I wish I could offer more to help you through but all these good people have already stolen all the good lines jk. ;)

    Just try and take it hour by hour, minute by minute if need be and you will get through this night and then tomorrow will be a new day and maybe you will feel stronger then.

    Always here luv...



  • Still here...

    Hey guys,

    Thanks so much for your words of support earlier. I had a long soak and I did feel better in the end. Not ok and my head is definitely not right yet, but at least I'm not having visions of lighting up!

    Keeping strong and riding this one out for now - I wouldn't of done it without you! Thanks again.

    i'll let you all know how I get on tomorrow. Fingers crossed.



  • Keep going Nik! I hope you feel better today and I promise it does get better!:)

  • Much better!

    I don't feel right yet, but I'm feeling much calmer today. Much better. Things at home are still hard, and they are probably going to get worse in the coming days, weeks, whatever.... But I am going to take it a day at a time and see how I feel.

    Also, I'm planning on starting on my running again on Monday. That will help to get my head back in the right place. Have got all my gear out, dusted my running shoes and got my running app up to date with my new weight! Ooops!

    Thanks, all. Will keep posting and letting you know how I get on.


    Nik x

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