A newleaf update

[nsd_user663_7276]

Sorry, needed to delete. Thank you for replies. x

[nsd_user663_54554]

No replies yet...right, I'm going to have a go. Newleaf, this is a very challenging post to respond to.

Challenging, as although we all have experience of addiction here, in most cases it's limited to nicotine ("only nicotine, huh"!) and from your post you appear to have been through the mangle somewhat which doesn't give much room for empathy I'm afraid!

However, what I would say is "massive nuicance"...no. Well maybe a bit...:eek: Only joking, no. Massive opportunity coming up to become the success story you want and deserve - absolutely.

For that you probably will need to build up your self belief from where you are now, no need to feel rubbish or as if you're being half-hearted. Yes, six weeks could be too soon after whatever-it-was, I have no idea but six weeks isn't long at all, in context and compared to 15 years.

Maybe think of this time as being at base camp. You're looking at a mountain, taking the time to consider the best course of action, the best route for you, and contemplating when to put the first foot onto it for the last time.

I'd call it getting acclimatised.

When you do, there will be people here to throw you a rope, help hammer in the pegs and give you a bunk-up. March 13th is coming up, I hope you train your crosshairs back onto this soon, and wish you every success when you do.

Hawkeye

[nsd_user663_7276]

A n a l o g y

[nsd_user663_7276]

That's definitely fair Max, and I have a lot of respect for you people who are making this huge change and sticking with it.

I am happy to stay away until such time as I can make the commitment, and I genuinely thank you for your time and your kind thoughts.

Will probably see if I can delete this thread in a short while as it reveals a lot about me which may not be helpful while I'm feeling vulnerable.

Thanks again. X

[nsd_user663_7276]

Ahh, I did misunderstand you there Max.

I wouldn't smoke while posting/reading, as that would seem rude! And when I said earlier that I was smoking, I meant generally, not at that precise moment

You are clearly a very lovely person, and if people don't mind me logging in while I am still a smoker, then that would be great. However, I do respect the wishes of the forum as a collective and if there was a general feeling that I should start my quit (or be closer to it) when I post, then I really would respect that, with no offence taken.

It seems I took you too literally though (wouldn't be the first time that's happened to me on t'internet!) and for that, I apologise.

x

[nsd_user663_7276]

And lol @ the thought that you might need me here- that's a lovely thing to say

[nsd_user663_52845]

Hi Newleaf

I would never judge anybody in life (I have far too many hang ups to do that :rolleyes but you seem to me to be a person that is reaching for a lifeline and I believe this site can offer it to you.

I would not delete your post if I were you.

I would keep it as a reminder of the time you were contemplating starting your next journey for real.

I don't know anything about people that dispute the existence of addictive personalities but I do know ... I've got one!

I never thought I could do this but time and friends on this site have proved me wrong, I hope that the same will be true for you.

Take care, take your time and give it another go,

Greg

[nsd_user663_7276]

Thank you Greg, very much.

I have deleted my original post as I had a sudden panic that it probably reveals too much about me for what is a public forum. I mean no offence to you people who are engaging in dialogue with me, as you are clearly bloody nice folk, but it occurred to me that any random person (non member) could come here and read my posts. That, coupled with the fact thatI have posted my photo on another thread makes me feel vulnerable so it just seemed prudent.

Addictive personalities- yeah, there are a few scientists out there who claim there's no such thing but that is bollocks, as far as I'm concerned. I've managed to get addicted to all manner of things; fags, sweets, exercise, crosswords... (!) Doing things in moderation is not something I can easily do. And with fags it definitely needs to be all or nothing. It's going have to be nothing!

It feels great to find so much acceptance and kindness here from strangers. It is remarkable and I know that this really is the place I need to be for my quit.

[nsd_user663_7276]

Max please, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, nothing at all. Just a simple misunderstanding, that's all.

If I feel vulnerable, it is borne of years of mental health problems, it's not down to anything one individual might say. I just misunderstood what you meant (that can happen to anyone- and often does when people are communicating via written word rather than face-to-face) and so I'm really glad I came back to reread and check because I found I'd got the wrong end of the stick.

Really glad to still be here, feeling welcomed and nurtured. If that doesn't help me bolster my self-esteem enough for this quit, I don't know what will.

I really hope you won't wind your neck in because nothing you have said is wrong or offensive, and you are clearly a good friend to so many here. Your posts help people, please don't change!

Totally agree with you re actually smoking while reading and posting.