3 weeks & today & i feel like crying :(

I've been doing really well & I refuse to give in but today has really messed with my head...

For those who don't know, my 23 year old son has been in a psychiatric hospital since last August... The stress I've had over the years has been intense to say the least - I've always smoked myself through the problems & worries but have been doing really well for the last 3 weeks so really want to keep it going...

Sorry for the rant, just having a bad day today & the hospital don't keep me updated enough & this week has been a nightmare trying to visit my son with all this snow (I don't drive) I'm the only one there for my son & feel really low today, just want to cry...

Don't want to smoke that is no help but need some advice on how to cope, this is my 5th attempt & I don't want to blow it.

Denise x

19 Replies

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  • Oh Denise, I really do feel for you, how sad for you and your son, I do hope he makes a full recovery. Mental illness is so awful for the sufferer and the people around them so I take my hat off to you for even thinking of quitting! How do you stay quit? Well I can only suggest that you keep reminding yourself of why yo have quit in the first place. It is obviously something you really want to do or you wouldn't keep trying. I think you just take it a day at a time and dont put too much pressure on your self. The I am not going to smoke today approach is a really good one because you are only looking a short distance ahead. I hope you can stay off the cigs but I really really hope things improve for you and your son very soon.xx Take care.xx

  • Oh Denise, I'm so sorry that this is happening to love. I really hope that your son improves soon. It's tough trying to quit while this is happening to you, I think that you must be an amazingly strong lady Denise.

    As Haze says, you must really want this quit, please don't let go of it. Through all the other crap that is going on you'll at least have the knowledge that you are in control of this amazing thing you are doing for yourself.

    Post on here, we'll all be here for you love. I know when I feel down this place has never failed to pick me up, dust me off and set me back on track feeling more resolute.

    You'll be in my thoughts and prayers honey

    Molly x

  • Thank you Haze & Molly, I really do need to keep this quit - I was told 2 years ago I have the start of early lung damage so if I smoke i'll have full blown copd & then i'll be no use to my son or my other kids & grandkids... I find it so helpful knowing other people are quitting at the same time or have cracked it, that keeps me going. my son has had problems since he was 6 but I think when you give up smoking everything is heightened & I suppose I've become reliant on smoking to get me through all the hard times (think we all did that) I'm deffo not smoking & hopefully i'll feel a bit better tomorrow :)

    Onwards & upwards :)

    Thanks again,

    Denise x

  • As you say Denise, TODAY is a bad day, it is only today, tomorrow is another day and hopefully you will feel stronger. You have done amazingly well, I know how difficult mental health issues are, I have a sister with Bi-polar who lives at my mums.

    Please rant as much as you want, that is what this forum is for. Is there any way you can afford a taxi to visit the hospital with the savings you have saved from not smoking during the bad weather, I think you deserve it.

    Take care, you should be proud of what you have achieved under the circumstances.

  • Thank you Jane & Max, this forum is full of so many nice people :)

    It really does help being able to have a rant & know that people will understand even though you are all going through this quit yourselves...

    I can & will do this :)

    Denise x

  • big hugs

    Big big hugs being sent to denise xxx

  • Hang in there Denise......when times get stressful take t out on us not a packet of fags......we are stronger now......healthier now and let's stay there together.......

  • *hugs*

    Hey Denise,

    First of all, I so do hope your son gets better soon, it sounds like he has reached rock bottom and you know there is only one way from that!

    I can really feel your pain Denise, to actually be quitting while all this is happening must be truly maddening. Still, you've done so well and I can tell by your post - however the despair and sadness that is coming out - that you can really see your addiction for what it is: A CRUTCH! Nothing more, nothing less.

    You want to do this, and you will. Just believe in yourself and believe that you can and will get through this. And we'll be there to help you up when you need us!

    Lots of love, hun and chin up!

    x

    Nik

    x

  • Hi Denise

    Anybody would want to cry going through what you are going through, add quitting smoking on top and we got a recipe for the tears.

    I was tearful in the beginning without going through anything like you are.

    I was glad to hear you saying that smoking won't help, the best help in the long run is staying quit.

    As for ranting......this is just the place so keep it up :)

    I hope you feel better soon

    Take care

    Greg

    x

  • Hi Denise, I can really relate to what your going through, I myself look after my 20 year old grandson who also suffers from mental health problems .I have cared for him for four years and my nicotine habit got worse and worse and so did my health, I new I had to stop smoking, I cant say its been easy this last month but ive found that during times of stress, and there are plenty! I can covince myself now that a cig wont make things any better so hang on in there, you need to do this for your own health so that you can carry on caring for your son all the best wishes in the world to you.........:)

  • This place is great for when you want a rant or a bit of reasurance:) hats off to you Hun and hang in there xx thoughts are with you.

    Quit date 3/1/13

    Method: patches/mint humbugs

  • Thank you all so much, your posts have really helped me :)

    I've had so much stress in the last few years that if i'd waited to be stress free before I gave up smoking it would have never happened. In some ways i'm glad i've stopped while i'm stressed because if I can get through this I can get through anything (hopefully!)

    Tooshay, thinking of you - mental health is one of the hardest conditions because you can't see it, i've said to my family lots of times that my sons life would be happier if he had a limb missing rather than him having to deal with the 'demons' he has in his head.

    Well done to all of you on stopping smoking, let's all have healthy futures :)

    Denise x

  • Denise, you really are an inspiration, bless you.

  • Well done for staying off THE DREADED FAGS,I too can feel your pain my 17 yr old son was diagnosed at 13 with "borderline Aspergers",after things getting continually worse ie; publicly accusing my 18 yr old of doing innapropriate things with my 7 yr old son (which is totally untrue) and trying to strangle me.bash up his room with a hammer and lots more. at last they are going to reassess him.Its not easy to give up smoking as well,but I now realise these problems will still be here whether or not I have a fag does make it a little easier to cope if that makes sense.take care and carry on giving up

  • Denise, you are an example of inspiration!

  • Thanks for the replies :) I'm still not smoking, my son's having a bad week (still in hospital) but ringing me & being really demanding - it's been a hard week but i've got this far so i'm just getting on with it :)

    Well done to you all on stopping, we can all do this & like you said mummyboo the problems will still be there with or without smoking...

    Lifes a bitch eh' but it's easier with clear lungs :D

    Denise x

  • Good on you

    Good on you Denise64 you have done so well, and congratulations on not smoking.

    As you say, smoking will only make things worse, but the great thing is that once you're not smoking it is so much easier to cope with what life throws our way because we're more healthy. The other thing, we no longer think like a junkie - wondering how we'll get our next cigarette - so our minds are so much more effective since they're more on task.

    All the best with your son's health. You have come this far and done so well:)

  • hang in there Denise - you can make it through this. There will always be some really bad days and there were for me too - the first month was terrible but it will get better. I hope things improve for your son - to do this under these circumstances is trully inspiring for a lot of folks on here. Stay with it

  • Denise I understand what you are going through.Im the same and usually it has me running for a fag:(

    but what I found,like millions of others is the stress is still there after a smoke.Everyone has good days and bad days whether you smoke or not.

    Hang on in there and tell yourself you dont smoke any more......:D

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