Wow tough day :o

Hi :)

Not sure why but today, and yesterday evening really have been really tough for me!!

Haven't had much stress or anything like that, but the flipping fags have been really playing on my mind and the "empty" feeling is back, along with the knot in my tummy. Was starting to feel jealous when the other girls at work went out for a fag too, and I haven't really felt like that before!!

Don't think I'm in real danger of smoking, I've come too far to mess it all up now, but it really is bugging me that it's come back lilke this!!

Think I'm going to have to stay on the Step 1 patches a bit longer, was hoping to drop down when my current box ran out but that's not looking likely. :(

Just letting off a bit of steam really, but it is flipping annoying to have the cravings come back again - even though they are weaker than before.

18 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hi :)

    Not sure why but today, and yesterday evening really have been really tough for me!!

    Haven't had much stress or anything like that, but the flipping fags have been really playing on my mind and the "empty" feeling is back, along with the knot in my tummy. Was starting to feel jealous when the other girls at work went out for a fag too, and I haven't really felt like that before!!

    Don't think I'm in real danger of smoking, I've come too far to mess it all up now, but it really is bugging me that it's come back lilke this!!

    Think I'm going to have to stay on the Step 1 patches a bit longer, was hoping to drop down when my current box ran out but that's not looking likely. :(

    Just letting off a bit of steam really, but it is flipping annoying to have the cravings come back again - even though they are weaker than before.

    Gemma, you have to ride them out. You get days like this and they take you by surprise. Believe it or not I was a bit like this at Christmas?? After nearly a year but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. It is just what ever triggers a memory of smoking and it seems all we can think about is a smoke. Just dig your heels in and you will be fine my love really fine.xxx

  • Hi Gemma, as Haze says, these days happen, I've had a few in the last week or so.

    These bad days aren't going to beat us though are they love? Keep your eye on the prize, you WANT this quit, do not let it go for anything.

    You are so positive and happy most of the time Gemma and you know you'll be back there soon, in the meantime have a rant on here. You are a pleasure to know either way :

    Molly x

  • Gemma, you have to ride them out. You get days like this and they take you by surprise. Believe it or not I was a bit like this at Christmas?? After nearly a year but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. It is just what ever triggers a memory of smoking and it seems all we can think about is a smoke. Just dig your heels in and you will be fine my love really fine.xxx

    Thanks Haze, it's a flipping pain but you're right!!

    Am going to dig my (new thanks to not smoking) heels in and get through it!!

    Hi Gemma-these days will come and come again we know don't we:( Its the ability to dig in and hold steady while the crave passes,that makes the difference between becoming the 2,and 5 year quitters celebrating elsewhere on the forum,and becoming a serial quitter who never really breaks out.That's my target,the penthouse and I know you can and will do this,so just come on here and blow off steam,its what this forum is so utterly brilliant at :)

    I imagine if I had a fag now,I would take tiny puffs on it,not inhale,it would taste revolting and I would be deeply depressed at having buckled after such great work. Hardly seems a good idea!

    I'm aiming for the Penthouse too!!

    It's odd, I don't think even though I've sort of fancied a fag, and have been craving one that if someone offered me one I'd take it. It's hard to describe properly and I know it doesn't really make a lot of sense!!

    Have messed up quits before and you're right it would definitely make you feel bad for caving in :eek:

    Hi Gemma, as Haze says, these days happen, I've had a few in the last week or so.

    These bad days aren't going to beat us though are they love? Keep your eye on the prize, you WANT this quit, do not let it go for anything.

    You are so positive and happy most of the time Gemma and you know you'll be back there soon, in the meantime have a rant on here. You are a pleasure to know either way :

    Molly x

    Aww thanks, that's lovely Molly!!

    I'm sorry you've had a few bad days too - but you're right, neither of us is going to give in!!

    You've all really helped me and i feel heaps better thank you so much :cool:

    Gemma x

  • Gemma, you have been such a positive young lady on this forum, a real inspiration, and your encouraging posts always make me smile and I feel I can really relate to what you say.

    You have done brilliantly ... I know you will get to the penthouse!!! We will always have a few bad days here and there but just remember how those great moments feel!!!! You can do it, hang in therexxxx

  • Hi Gemma

    I think you hit the nail on the head....it's just bloody annoying!!

    I thought it would be all dead and gone by now...but no....it lingers on yet..nowhere near like it was but just...well....bloody annoying!

    I think, for me personally, it is going to be time to cut out my NRT all together. I can't wait to get away from everything on hols with a completely different routine, scenery etc to change things right up and get off it for good. :)

    I feel my bodies chemical dependency on nicotine is the thing that is making me feel this way and I'll never move on until I overcome the last hurdle.

    Having said that I don't want to ruin my quit, by going for it right now, as work pressures slowly start to build as we get busier.

    The light nights are just around the corner though and we can get out and about to enjoy our freedom more.......can't pigging wait....I could crush a grape :D

    Sorry to hear you have had it crap of late but as we know and keep learning.....nothing worthwhile is ever easy :)

    I don't need to say hang tough....I already know you will :)

    Take care

    Greg

    x

  • What everyone said!

    That's such good advice from all you folks... Gemma, don't have much to add but just to let you know we are all here rooting for you!

    Keep going and focus on how well you feel without the stinky sticks!

    x

    Nik

  • Hi :)

    Not sure why but today, and yesterday evening really have been really tough for me!!

    Haven't had much stress or anything like that, but the flipping fags have been really playing on my mind and the "empty" feeling is back, along with the knot in my tummy. Was starting to feel jealous when the other girls at work went out for a fag too, and I haven't really felt like that before!!

    Don't think I'm in real danger of smoking, I've come too far to mess it all up now, but it really is bugging me that it's come back lilke this!!

    Think I'm going to have to stay on the Step 1 patches a bit longer, was hoping to drop down when my current box ran out but that's not looking likely. :(

    Just letting off a bit of steam really, but it is flipping annoying to have the cravings come back again - even though they are weaker than before.

    Gem

    Know exactly what you mean by empty feeling, it's not good. My advice would be not to worry about reducing patch strength too quickly. You'll just know when the time right. You're doing fab Gem:)

    Fi x

  • Gem

    Know exactly what you mean by empty feeling, it's not good. My advice would be not to worry about reducing patch strength too quickly. You'll just know when the time right. You're doing fab Gem:)

    Fi x

    Thanks Fi :)

    It's a really strange feeling isn't it? It's weird 'cos I *really* don't want to smoke, there's so many things about it I hate and honestly don't think there's that much chance of me having a relapse but just want the feeling to go away!!

    Think I'm going to keep on the step ones for a bit longer - ot ideal, but it's better than having a relapse!!

    Gemma x

  • Thanks Nik, it really does help coming on here and having a moan 'cos there's always people to help and to make me feel better!! :D

    Anyway I'm enjoying the "extra" money that I've got to go back to spending £8 on stinky fags, and going outside to smoke in this weather? No thank you!!

    Gemma, you have been such a positive young lady on this forum, a real inspiration, and your encouraging posts always make me smile and I feel I can really relate to what you say.

    You have done brilliantly ... I know you will get to the penthouse!!! We will always have a few bad days here and there but just remember how those great moments feel!!!! You can do it, hang in therexxxx

    Aw thanks that's really nice!! :cool:

    I'm feeling loads better today and this forum has really helped :)

    Glad I started my quit in the winter, I *was* going to stop when I turned 30, but always said if I did it earlier it would be 'cos I was fed up with smoking outside in the cold!!

    Gemma x

  • Hi Gemma

    I think you hit the nail on the head....it's just bloody annoying!!

    I thought it would be all dead and gone by now...but no....it lingers on yet..nowhere near like it was but just...well....bloody annoying!

    I think, for me personally, it is going to be time to cut out my NRT all together. I can't wait to get away from everything on hols with a completely different routine, scenery etc to change things right up and get off it for good.

    I feel my bodies chemical dependency on nicotine is the thing that is making me feel this way and I'll never move on until I overcome the last hurdle.

    Having said that I don't want to ruin my quit, by going for it right now, as work pressures slowly start to build as we get busier.

    The light nights are just around the corner though and we can get out and about to enjoy our freedom more.......can't pigging wait....I could crush a grape :D

    Sorry to hear you have had it crap of late but as we know and keep learning.....nothing worthwhile is ever easy :)

    I don't need to say hang tough....I already know you will :)

    Take care

    Greg

    x

    Hi Greg!

    Thanks for that and good luck on stopping the NRT completely!!

    Am sure it'll be easier when you're away from it all and able to relax. Am sre you're going to keep going all the way to the Penthouse!!

    Know being on it is dragging my quit out, but I honestly don't have that much willpower so it has been a lifesaver - literally when you think about it :eek:

    It's stupid 'cos by the end I really didn't like smoking any more - used to enjoy it then fell out of love very quickly - so there's nothing that would make me want to start again. Suppose it's just because I spent most of the last 13 years teaching myself that fags make everything better and am not going to unlearn that in 6 weeks!!

    Gemma x

  • Just thought I'd add:

    I've got lots, nearly hundreds of reasons why I'm so glad to have quit smoking - they're all good, solid reasons and not just 'cos of my health (am still young and stupid) although I'm amazed how much my smoking had affected my health. All those little things we just put down to other reasons :eek:

    Then on the other side there's this whiny, petulant voice in my head "I want a fag" and that's it. No good reasons why I should have one, nothing that would be better if I started again - just that whiny voice. Well tough 'cos you're not getting one!! :cool:

    Gemma - sucking on a rolled up post-it note

  • Hi Gemma

    To be perfectly honest.....I could kill for one at the moment too!

    Absolutely LIVID!!! :mad:

    Gimme something to kick.....quick! :D

  • Hi Greg :)

    Sorry you're having a bad day now!! I hope it gets better quickly.

    There's a pile of old tyres out the back here you could kick all your anger out on :p

  • Yay :D

    Having done, um, quite a bit of venting and moaning on here :eek: thought I'd balance it out a bit!!

    Am so flipping glad I'm a non-smoker now :D

    A couple of the girls in the office have come in from having a fag - would have joined them before - and they're looking like drowned rats 'cos it's wet and windy out there.

    Made me think how good it is not to be stuck out there in the Leper's Corner puffing on a fag I wouldn't really have enjoyed, hurting my health and making my hands, clothes, hair and breath stink like an ashtray. Could definitely smell it on them under the perfume ;)

    When I got upset before I'd smoke literally until I got a headache, now I have to deal with it - and to be honest that's easier 'cos Im a lot less stressed as a non-smoker than I ever was when I smoked "to calm myself down" and don't feel flipping lousy from smoking one after the other.

    I can taste and smell properly, I actually smell nice, my eyes are better, I look years younger and I'm able to buy lots of lovely things with my fag money - why didn't I do this years ago?

    This probably doesn't make a lot of sense but I'm feeling flipping fab for quitting now - 7 weeks ago tonight I put out my last one :D

    That was in the wet and cold too and really didn't enjoy smoking it!!

    Am saying this 'cos not only do I feel great and want to share it but want to encourage other quitters to stick with it through the bad times 'cos it's so worth it!!

    Gemma x

  • That's the way to be thinking Gemma-lou. *Wonders how many we smoked we actually really "enjoyed"*

  • Gemma Lou! That is more like it! Good girl!:)

  • What a brilliant post Gemma, you're fab x

    Molly x

  • Gem

    Got your positivity back again. Way to go girl, well done:)

    Fi x

You may also like...