5th month

[nsd_user663_50221]

I'm into the 5th month!! I can't believe it. 125 days today The past month has probably been the easiest, I went on for weeks I think without a single thought about smoking. I did think about once last week because I was super stressed and tired but I kicked it pretty easily, because no situation no matter how stressful is worth it. And I know the stress will still be there afterwards. Not to mention the 'being tired' part. A cigarette really won't help me feel less tired. Soo for the moment it's all great. Still not feeling 100% confident I'll never feel tempted again, I know I will. But I really want to get to the penthouse

[nsd_user663_53202]

Great, well done. It's inspiring to hear that you hardly ever think about smoking now.

[nsd_user663_42390]

Well done Jessica, you are coasting now. I will save you a seat in the penthouse, we will both get there!

[nsd_user663_50221]

I'm only a day apart from entering month 6. And you know what?! I'm having probably the hardest day since I've quit. And I say it's the hardest because it's nothing like what I've experienced before. It's not the usually crave. This time it's related to something that has happened today and it's making me feel like crap. It's a long story, no point boring anyone with it, but in short: I screwed up. And God knows I've tried so hard to make things turn out right. I knew it'd be hard and I gave my best. And it was all for nothing. And I feel like crap. I failed myself and I failed someone I care about. And I'm just having a moment of 'I don't give a crap about anything, about myself, my life, my health.' I had a really bad binge episode about an hour ago I ate all the junk food I could find in my kitchen, my stomach is killing me right now and I'm actually thinking I could and should make things worse buy going out and by a pack of cigs. Luckily it's pouring outside and I don't feel like going out in the rain otherwise I would've probably smoked about a pack by now:(. If 24 hours from now I'm still a non-smoker it'll truly be one of my greatest accomplishments.

[nsd_user663_42390]

It wont change a thing

I have been quit 10 months on the 6th December and I learned on Wednesday that the company I work for are looking at sending all finance to a shared service centre. This would mean redundancy for most of the people I work with, and of course myself. I felt stressed and I thought for a fleeting moment about joining people outside for a smoke... I didn't and I am so glad .. It would not change a thing and anyway if I am redundant how will I afford cigs. Please dont give in... tommorow is another day and you will feel differently I am sure

[nsd_user663_50221]

Haze, I'm sorry you're facing such problems, I hope things sort out soon.

It's not 24 hours later but I didn't smoke and I'm fairly sure I won't. I'm not feeling much better mentally, I'm still depressed and angry but I'm a little more rational and I do believe it'd be pointless to smoke. It wouldn't make me feel better, that's something that will come in time.

[nsd_user663_53202]

but in short: I screwed up. And God knows I've tried so hard to make things turn out right. I knew it'd be hard and I gave my best. And it was all for nothing. And I feel like crap. I failed myself and I failed someone I care about. And I'm just having a moment of 'I don't give a crap about anything, about myself, my life, my health.'

At the outset the outcome was uncertain and failure a very real possibility. Nevertheless, you took it on, tried your hardest, and gave your best. That took courage, real guts. You are a person to be reckoned with.

[nsd_user663_50221]

At the outset the outcome was uncertain and failure a very real possibility. Nevertheless, you took it on, tried your hardest, and gave your best. That took courage, real guts. You are a person to be reckoned with.

Thank you so much for your words!

I'm a little better, still a non-smoker anyway Also still a little depressed, this weekend isn't helping me to be honest, I haven't got much to do. Hopefully getting back to work tomorrow, keeping busy, will help me get my mind off the bad stuff.

[nsd_user663_53202]

Phew! I'm glad you managed to stay off the fags, very well done.

[nsd_user663_53394]

You are a hero. Whatever else went wrong, you did not compound it by smoking. I know you feel really bad but you would certainly feel worse if you had smoked, Well done!