16 days smoke free!
And it's so much different from what I had thought it would be! Of course my expectations were unrealistic on so many levels......
1. I didn't expect to make it at all.... BUT I DID!!!
2. I expected I'd have to sleep all the way through withdrawal - but instead it feels like I've only just begun to live.
3. I thought that eventually - like at 3rd or 4rth month maybe - some minor things about me other than the smoking might start to change..... couldn't have been more wrong on this one.
So incredibly much about me has changed that it truly scares me. Foremostly I have had a huge reduction in my levels of depression now as opposed to before I started taking Champix. I am no longer completely and utterly lethargic to the point where I can mostly not take care of even my own most basic needs. Now I actually have meals every day, and my daughter too. Firstly because now that the depression is somewhat better I can make food. Secondly, of course, the withdrawals, and thirdly because I have mysteriously gained a sense of smell and of taste!! The sense of smell particularly is fascinating and occupying me, as I now naturally have to smell and index every smell out there in the world
I am in no way stable, and I do realise that. I do get very moody, irritable, angry, sad, tearful, frustrated. But mostly just with the process of quitting smoking and that it all takes so very long. I'd rather just run around a football field 500 times knowing that when I am done running it's over and I am free forever. Sadly there are no football fields in cape town
My 8 year old daughter and my boyfriend also report huge change in me, ranging from being more positive, more assertive, more alive, to more active and involved in their lives.
I can only hope these changes do not go away when first the first 3 months and then the Champix ceases......