Vikings aren't too smart. Hello Day 1 tomorrow.

[nsd_user663_1655]

Tomorrow begins... Well, day 1 revisited. Somehow talked myself an hour ago into not being ready to quit, got smokes, smoked two. Thought process was to set a cap on smoking, and wean myself until I felt truly ready. Yay for bad taste, instant headache, a reminder cough, and a huge overwhelming paranoia, guilt, and sadness. I'm going to chalk this experience to letting myself know that this IS a very good time to quit... And focus on how this is what smokes do to me. Of course I'm falling back to the start of the quit, and have new resolve, definitely stronger than it was... I was quitting solely based on the never ending cold, and now I will be quitting to keep this retched smell away, to get this crappy taste out of my mouth, and to live my life to the fullest. Some of you may see this as another weak willed person fluttering around the forum I guess.. But I'll be reaching the penthouse now, no matter what it takes.Happy it only took two to strengthen my reasonin, and they didn't make me feel like continuing. Perhaps sometimes bad things happen for a reason. A bonus is that I'll be basing my quit off of the forum clock now, as they were done before midnight forum time. Here we go again.

[nsd_user663_6426]

Hey viking.....snap...this happened to me, exactly the same. Look back through my threads. I'm now 5 months quit after restarting again. Sorry for the quick message but I'm tired (I'm an insomniac and was up til 2.00am last night as well). Anyways, just wanted to say that before you can go forward sometimes you have to take two steps back. Stay with your quit...you know now smoking really is pants.

Lisa xxx

[nsd_user663_44983]

Mr Viking, what are you doing? Your are one of my mentors.

At least you quit in the early days, not after months of hard work.

You go for it !!!! You can do it!!

Thank you for teaching me a lesson, dont listen to little thoughts in head by mr nicodemon.

[nsd_user663_1655]

Lisa, I will definitely be reading through your posts. Thanks for the kind reply, nice to know it happens. Snugsy, I'm sorry, now I'm only a day behind you... I should really be rereading all my old posts from 2008 and mentoring myself eeps. Don't worry I'm not going anywhere.. . Now I'll be right beside you every step of the way, and we can look out for eachother! Lol.. I'm going to be ending posts with NOPE now to. NOPE! Here's to a smoke free tomorrow.

[nsd_user663_1655]

When I got home.

The major reason I thought to try smoking again, and try for a wean off, was because I blew up at an ipod nano today while trying to figure out itunes. My wife was there, and then i left for work. Thing is, she had no idea I have been smoking again... for a year and a half that I have been back at it. After the two smoke blip, I went home. I told her everything, I apologized, I let her know that i have full commitment to this quit and that when i am tapping away on my phone, I am actually posting here. I let her know that I don't plan to lose sight of the quit like last time, and this will be something I will have to work on for a very long time. Being the awesome wife she is, she says "at least you aren't a heroin junkie" > I must have been very good at being sneaky, using air fresheners, gum, and showering after work and stuff, as she said she had no idea. I need her to know everything to fully go after breathing easy and now she does. I have no secrets now. Sad that I kind of feel now like she knows i've been "lying" to her for a year and a half, but happy that she understands I am going through this again. Its go time. NOPE.

Vike

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Sad that I kind of feel now like she knows i've been "lying" to her for a year and a half, but happy that she understands I am going through this again. Its go time. NOPE.

Vike

I, too, lied to my SO about smoking, but I wasn't as sneaky as you, and she knew I was smoking, and she called me on it. In fact, it was one of the major reasons we eventually broke up.

We remained friends, and I came out of the closet and admitted to here that I was a smoker, and continued to smoke, and came up with a new lie: "I'm going to quit soon, really! I am, I am!" Somehow soon never comes.

Finally, I couldn't stand smoking, and I couldn't stand lying, any more. So five days ago, I quit.

To me, there is no "hope" that this will work. It will work. It's already worked. I do NOT smoke, and I will NOT smoke again.

What I've gained in five days is immeasurable. I can look in the mirror, and I can look at my former GF, and I know that I'm being honest and congruent and that I don't smoke.

On so many levels, quitting smoking has given me back my life, my health, my self respect. Not sure which is more important; they all matter.

So, Viking, I know (I think) how you feel, and I do wish you the best. You deserve to be smoke free and you can make it so.

[nsd_user663_1655]

Its crazy how the evil nicodemon can make us try and hide in plain sight and turn us into such fools. Thanks for sharing your story, it is definitely very close to mine. NOPE. Viking is doing this.

[nsd_user663_10532]

Aww Viking, sorry you had a lapse. I know you were utterly tormented for a good few hours. Stick with it, we will help you tech the penthouse., but let's take baby steps. It doesn't matter how we get there, it just matters that we do. Fresh start and all that Viking.....good luck

[nsd_user663_43218]

Viking - well done for speaking to your wife about the smoking, it could not have been easy and maybe the added pressure of a 'secret' quit sent you over the smoking edge? I think with her support you are in a much better position. Also with every relapse we learn something new so it is not a waste of time or a reason to feel bad. Keep up the good work you are doing just fine. x

[nsd_user663_21467]

Don't beat yourself up too much viking - at least you realised after 2 smokes it wasn't good rather than weeks or months later. Perhaps now your wife knows too and understands it will be one less thing on your mind to worry about. I'm sure we've all been there more times than we care to remember, but, you know what they say - "You've got to get back on that bike and keep peddling, cos if you keep on trying eventually you won't fall off again"

[Hidden]

Good morning!

Last night was a bummer wasn't it! It's great that you have come clean and jumped right back in there. Do take double care over the next 2 or three days as Nic now knows your weak point. May your gods go with you x

[lefoy123]

The Viking

Hello Viking what do they say God loves a trier. Hope things work out better this time. I'm nearly 66 yesrs old, smoked for 41/42 years never thought I would ever stop until the medics put the Grim Reaper in the picture. Constant heavy duty nicotine abuse had taken it's toll. I'm now almost 58 days nicotine free save for about an hour. How do I remember easy; the time I was admitted to hospital approx. 12:30 on Sunday 22/1/2012 severe chest pains I honestly thought I was dying. So up to press I'm almost 58 days nicotine free.

I sought the help of a smoking cessation group. It defintley helped me.

I gave up the booze some 21+ years ago I thought that was hard, but this no smoking is something else. I never actually realised it's one of the most additive fast acting narcotic freely available. Apparently more addictive than heroin.

Keep in touch and just keep on trying.

Michael(aka:-lefoy123) Glasgow

[nsd_user663_1655]

It does feel better hsaving her know I'm doing this. New Day 1 so far so good.

Vike

[nsd_user663_1655]

1 hour, 15 minutes and I'll be past the 24 hour mark. One more stretch this long and those blips' traces of nicotine will be out of my system.. Bring it on day 2, I'm taking you out, and your friends 3 and 4 too... In fact, bring all your friends, I will trample all of them.

Vike