Half hearted quit.....

[nsd_user663_35121]

Hi

I've realised I do tend to over-think things and I'm already obsessing about my next quit.

My reasoning is conditions have to be "perfect", and I have to have loads of things in place to help me stop. Off course, there is never the right time and I cannot anticipate EVERY moment that will arise when I will want to smoke and what to do about it.

I make myself feel anxious and I'm just putting it off.

If I, for example, decide not to smoke in my car, surely that is better than smoking in my car. If I stick a patch on my arm next week and see what happens...will that do me any harm?

I suppose my question is this ...is there any point in a half-hearted quit?

eg. an experimental quit? Not an OCD, obsessive quit or is that the only way to succeed?

Any cigarette not smoked must be a good thing....

or am I just trying to justify my lack of focus?

Good luck to everyone

LizzieXXX

[nsd_user663_10532]

Hi Elizabeth, my view( and it is only my opinion) is this, we either smoke or we don't. You can cut down and yes I suppose not having one is better than having one, but it won't last. You will start feeling you need one now because you are depriving yourself and you will end up smoking more. I think you have to really want to quit, not cut down, but do it when YOU are ready. :eek:

[nsd_user663_35121]

Hi Shojam,

I know you're right. It possibly takes more effort to "control" your smoking, rather than not do it at all. It becomes a constant nagging...when can you have your next one...

Somebody on this forum said when they quit they said to themselves they had NEVER smoked. This has really stuck in my head.

Thanks for your thoughts and good luck with your quit.

X

[nsd_user663_42220]

When I started my quit on 26th January it was not planned.

It was almost a knee-jerk reaction to a friend of mine dying the day before of cancer (not smoking related).

I didn't go into it thinking "this is forever" but just decided to see how it went.

Each time a crave reared it's ugly head I had a choice; Do I choose to smoke or do I choose not to?

Each time, I chose not to smoke.

Before I knew it I was on day 8 and registered on here.

At that point I changed my mindset and decided that yes, I am choosing to stay smoke free for the rest of my life.

I'm now in week 6 and time is beginning to fly by. Cravings are getting less frequent and to be honest they are that weak I wonder if they are cravings or just me still remembering the habit I had.

I do believe that at some point you do have to have a change of mindset to help get you through but start and see how it goes, one minute, hour or day at a time.

Instead of coming up with reasons why you should/need/want to smoke, think of all the reasons why it's a good thing to quit.

[nsd_user663_6426]

I too had an "oh f**k it, I'm not going to smoke" kind of quit. It wasn't planned, I was just fed up of smoking. I thought I'd see how far I got...I think I got to a couple of days before smoking and got so upset (and drunk) that I did, I realised I DID really want to stop smoking. I read Allen Carr and had my eureka moment and since then, it kinda just clicked. From reading about others experiences on here, you do not have to have an uber planned out quit, loads of people just wing it and see what happens. A friend of mine just kept saying to herself "well I got through this hour and didn't smoke, it wasn't too bad, let's see how far I can go"...she ended up quit for keeps.

I do think if you over complicate things...thinking about quitting seems like a big hill that's too hard to climb, so you don't even attempt it. Just try taking a few steps and see where they lead you, instead of a big hill you could end up in a beautiful oasis.

Take care.

Lisa xxx

[nsd_user663_4847]

Hi

I've realised I do tend to over-think things and I'm already obsessing about my next quit.

My reasoning is conditions have to be "perfect", and I have to have loads of things in place to help me stop. Off course, there is never the right time and I cannot anticipate EVERY moment that will arise when I will want to smoke and what to do about it.

I make myself feel anxious and I'm just putting it off.

If I, for example, decide not to smoke in my car, surely that is better than smoking in my car. If I stick a patch on my arm next week and see what happens...will that do me any harm?

I suppose my question is this ...is there any point in a half-hearted quit?

eg. an experimental quit? Not an OCD, obsessive quit or is that the only way to succeed?

Any cigarette not smoked must be a good thing....

or am I just trying to justify my lack of focus?

Good luck to everyone

LizzieXXX

Hi Lizzie

Every quit but this one I had planned, every quit had failed. I did learn things from those past quits though, my worst smoking time was the morning, alcohol was dangerous.

This quit wasn't so much planned, more that I fell into it. I knew I wanted to stop, I woke up after a particularly heavy night on the drink, with 5 fags and thought "give it a go", went out with friends in the evening, with only a tenner, drank coke and scored my last fag from someone in the group.

Spent the next few days on whyquit and a few other websites, waiting desperately for an appointment with quit nurse as unplanned quit, which was the wednesday by which point I'd been using low mg old chewing gum and becoming use to the idea of using nothing. The quit nurse was useless and clueless, I was in withdrawal and demented. In some ways my anger at her uselessness spurred me on, as did the shear hell I's already been through, on day 2 I texted my entire address book saying to hit me if they ever saw me smoking again. I was determined to quit this time and the only thing that kept me quit was the thought of having to go through any of my hard fought battles again. Dinner on the tuesday of that first week I was called a space cadet. My pc and laptop were on and I just kept reading, educating and reading. I kept busy, went running anything to distract myself.

Hope any of the little tricks I used help in some ways, above all though my greatest asset this time was the fact that I wanted to quit, I couldn't afford to smoke and I was desperate to stop.

Think of your rewards for day 1, day 2, week 1 and read, read, read.

Good luck and never give up givoing up.

[nsd_user663_36288]

Hi Lizzie

I very much identify with what you are saying. I do think that for many of us there needs to be some sort of change in the mindset which prompts you to think I am GOING to quit, rather than continuing to focus on why we SHOULD quit. It doesn't need to be a 'eureka' moment, but it does have to be something which nudges you from 'I hate smoking, I hate myself for smoking, I don't want to live like this...' to 'I am GOING to do it and I CAN do it'.

I started smoking in my mid-teens, then when I was about 19 I was sitting on a plane (in the days when there were smoking sections!) and I just thought 'this is revolting, I don't want another one'. I gave up for about 6 months. I was then offered one in a moment of stress, and that was that...

I've been waiting for years and years for that moment to come again - to NOT WANT a cigarette. Eventually I realised it just wasn't going to happen - I was well and truly trapped. My mindset change came about when my last smoking friend announced that he was quitting. We'd always said we'd be the last two smokers on the planet - neither of us thought we could ever quit.

It was the nudge that I needed. I could then get my over-thinking, over-****ysing tendencies to work POSITIVELY for me. I set a date a few weeks ahead and then threw myself into preparing/reading/planning ahead as much as possible. By the time my quit date arrived, at least half of me was longing to actually get on with it! The other half was of course, quaking with terror and fear ..... but I'd set myself the challenge, at the root of which was this gritty determination that has - so far - carried me through.

It sounds as though you're moving TOWARDS that 'moment', which will put you in a stronger frame of mind to quit, and you'll know when it comes. When it does, you'll have all the experience of your last quit behind you which will be so valuable.

Never quit quitting, as they say - you WILL get there in the end, Lizzie.

Sue

x

[nsd_user663_24115]

Hi Elizabeth, why not write 2 lists

1 the downside of smoking

2 the benefits

then take it from there.

I quit cos i was loopy and was sick and tired of singing should i stay or should i go now....... im happy to say i left.............

im pretty sure i'll never go back because i will have to sing that song for the rest of my life. i just know i'll never be happy as a smoker i will always wonder what its like not too. im pretty sure you feel the same. i dont think there are perfect conditions to stop. i do hope u get it soon. you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by quitting.

Mash x

[nsd_user663_33894]

My quit was sort of a half-hearted quit. I did pick a date and spent months (yes, months) reading up on it, planning it, doing the positives/negatives etc.

But, at the same time, I also agreed with myself that it would be an experiment, and if that I failed to quit I would be a) no worse off for trying and b) hopefully I would learn something.

I think, like you Lizzie, I have a desire for things to be 'perfect', but I've learnt from the past that the more I obsess about it, the less chance there is of it working. So for the quit, I knew I had to be a bit relaxed about it, or it wouldn't work.

I try to avoid 'all-or-nothing' thinking, but that's mainly because I've had other problems that come from doing that.

Jen x

[nsd_user663_32615]

Hi Lizzie

I would say that wholehearted is probably best, but that halfhearted beats smoking every time. Waiting for the perfect time to quit can be unhelpful - I have spent many a year playing that one! And if you hit your perfect time, and three weeks later, sh*t happens - what then?

If I remember rightly, you used Champix last time. Would that help get you started again? Whatever it takes, and however ambivalent you feel, I reckon you are better of trying to get your quit back.

Read your old posts - you went through weeks of feeling confident and proud of your achievements. Wouldn't that feel better than this?

I really wish you well - it would be great to see you joining us again.

[nsd_user663_44118]

Hi Elizabeth, my view( and it is only my opinion) is this, we either smoke or we don't. You can cut down and yes I suppose not having one is better than having one, but it won't last. You will start feeling you need one now because you are depriving yourself and you will end up smoking more. I think you have to really want to quit, not cut down, but do it when YOU are ready. :eek:

Cutting down doesn't work, it only serves to make the cigarette that much more precious.

Every smoker on the planet wants to quit apart from a minority of confirmed smokers, they are the type who believe they are not damaging their bodies and enjoy smoking.

Nobody enjoys smoking, myself included, I am currently in the nicotine trap all over again after thirteen years of abstinence thanks to the genius who was Allen Carr.

[nsd_user663_41857]

I did the same, only told 2 trusted people at work what I was planning just incase I failed. I've got quite an ocd personality too so if I start something, I finish it lol so that's what's got me here I suppose.

Just told myself I was going to stop smoking, I hated being a smoker but if I failed, I wouldn't beat myself up about it.

Its got me this far, so it can't be a bad way to think of it!

[nsd_user663_35121]

Thank you everyone, I really appreciate hearing your thoughts and ideas.

I know why I smoke... it's a constant in my life when I am, at this time, slightly depressed and a little lost.

I know why I want to stop smoking...I have this feeling I will never be a "proper" person whilst I am an addict. Does that make sense?

I hate what it does to my breathing, my jagged cough, my sallow skin and my nasty smell.

At the moment I seem to be able to tolerate all those negatives to be able to continue with my view that smoking is my support.

Maybe I need anti depressants? I did speak to my doctor about Zyban (I've read a lot about it...stop smoking and get happy!!) but it is no longer prescribed.

I am edging closer to trying again. I read all your posts with envy and admiration. Mrs T is right...I felt very proud about my last attempt. I'd like to get back there.

XXX