Still here, lurking.. Desperate to take the plunge again, but afraid to.
I wonder if I'll ever be in the same mindset I was in September, when I quit for 3 months and actually took pleasure in it? It seems unlikely. I think that was my slot and I blew it.
I feel grotty and tired and smelly, and I know why!!
My 9 year old no longer says anything when she sees me light up through the window. She just looks disappointed. My 5 year old continues to 'smoke' drinking straws and pencils :eek:
I have built my fitness up since I quit in September, going from doing absolutely nothing to now running 5k every other day. Smoking is madness. Yet I continue...
Do I try a different tack this time, or just get on with it and stop being so silly? I used patches for 3 days last time, then just embraced the whole thing and went cold turkey. Don't think I can use any medication due to a history of depression.
I have to do this, but when, how??
This place has been a fantastic help to me in the past. I am lookng for some motivation right now guys!!
JQ xx
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Do something. Walk the dog, wash up, hoover, go for a walk, play a game.
Do you have the Wii? I really recommend playing something on the Wii, with your child maybe? It really takes your mind off smoking! I get a craving and if im in the house i go straight on there!
You can and will do this, its not easy but its possible!
I have read over some of my old posts. It really has helped.
I think I am going to do exactly what I did last time - smoke that ceremonious last cigarette tonight, wake up and start all over again. And really mean it.
I feel weak at the moment. I have felt depression beginning to rear its ugly head and creep back up on me over the last few weeks. I need a focus. It worked for me last time. My life changed in so many ways over those 3 months.
Is the depression linked to smoking or do you think that would have happened anyway?
You can do it
Hi Karri. Thanks.
I firmly believe that continuing to smoke certainly doesn't help the depression. It's hard to explain. I have made some real progress over the years, but I get bogged down wanting things to be just so and just right, and not knowing how to achieve it. It's, dare I say it, a vicious circle. The more I want things in order, the more of a state I get myself in, which is counter-productive because nothing ever gets done and I end up feeling worse!
I don't want to be a smoker and by quitting tomorrow, as unpleasant as it may be to start, I will be in control and achieving something.
The crap job and disorganised household are, however, matters for a different forum!!
The way youve described how smoking is making you feel, sounds like a really vile place. move away from it , have something better there is NOTHING to give up no sacrifice to make ,leave it behind.
Thats great that you are going for it! I have 2 girls age 5 and 9 as well and my 5 year old has also pretended to smoke which was awful! Hadn't really mentioned to the girls I was stopping (was scared it wouldnt go to plan) am now on day 12 ad my oldest girl mentioned it to me on about day 6 - was nice that she had noticed(smoked outside too) and she was so pleased it has spurred me on!
All the best for tomorrow, JQ. Wise words from Austin - if you're not able to summon up the 'motivation' to quit (even though you know you want to, if you see what I mean), then focus on why you want to light up instead. It can help to see the madness for what it is.
Hi JQ, You defo need a positive attitude something strong you can focus on, I know depression can be negative, but try and perservere, if you made it to 3 months last time try and read all your old posts, I went fown this path just like yourself, but you have to be the one who knows when its right.
One thing I now say to myself no matter how crappy im feeling having one fag will not change how your feeling. Good luck
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