Damned if I do, damned if I don't!

Still here, lurking.. Desperate to take the plunge again, but afraid to.

I wonder if I'll ever be in the same mindset I was in September, when I quit for 3 months and actually took pleasure in it? It seems unlikely. I think that was my slot and I blew it.

I feel grotty and tired and smelly, and I know why!!

My 9 year old no longer says anything when she sees me light up through the window. She just looks disappointed. My 5 year old continues to 'smoke' drinking straws and pencils :eek:

I have built my fitness up since I quit in September, going from doing absolutely nothing to now running 5k every other day. Smoking is madness. Yet I continue...

Do I try a different tack this time, or just get on with it and stop being so silly? I used patches for 3 days last time, then just embraced the whole thing and went cold turkey. Don't think I can use any medication due to a history of depression.

I have to do this, but when, how??

This place has been a fantastic help to me in the past. I am lookng for some motivation right now guys!!

JQ xx

12 Replies

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  • Why are you smoking?

    Ask yourself what makes you light up the next smoke?

    It's becoming an all too common question round here. ;)

  • Please read the book "Allen Carr's easyway to stop smoking" It is really motivational and it does help a lot! You can do it, Dont give up!

  • Your Child(ren).

    Your Health.

    Your Future.

    Drink water, or berocca (helps me).

    Suck lollies, pens, ANYTHING!

    Do something. Walk the dog, wash up, hoover, go for a walk, play a game.

    Do you have the Wii? I really recommend playing something on the Wii, with your child maybe? It really takes your mind off smoking! I get a craving and if im in the house i go straight on there!

    You can and will do this, its not easy but its possible! :D

  • sorry if your finding it hard to stop :(

    you have to formulate a plan of action and reading your posts from your last quit will help

    you know there are people here to help you through it

    but only you can make that final step but you wont be alone once you have made that last step

    you will get all the support you need

    onwards and upwards is the only way to go :)

  • Thanks for your wise words guys.

    I know you're all right. That's the crazy thing.

    I have read over some of my old posts. It really has helped.

    I think I am going to do exactly what I did last time - smoke that ceremonious last cigarette tonight, wake up and start all over again. And really mean it.

    I feel weak at the moment. I have felt depression beginning to rear its ugly head and creep back up on me over the last few weeks. I need a focus. It worked for me last time. My life changed in so many ways over those 3 months.

    Watch this space!

  • good for you :D

    you can do this :)

  • Dont give up giving up

    It is never too late to try again - think of your children and your health & just do it.

    Remember how good you felt last time?

    I am day three and am feeling positive and energetic.

    Good luck to you - you can do it ;)

  • Is the depression linked to smoking or do you think that would have happened anyway?

    You can do it :)

    Hi Karri. Thanks.

    I firmly believe that continuing to smoke certainly doesn't help the depression. It's hard to explain. I have made some real progress over the years, but I get bogged down wanting things to be just so and just right, and not knowing how to achieve it. It's, dare I say it, a vicious circle. The more I want things in order, the more of a state I get myself in, which is counter-productive because nothing ever gets done and I end up feeling worse!

    I don't want to be a smoker and by quitting tomorrow, as unpleasant as it may be to start, I will be in control and achieving something.

    The crap job and disorganised household are, however, matters for a different forum!! ;)

    xx

  • The way youve described how smoking is making you feel, sounds like a really vile place. move away from it , have something better there is NOTHING to give up no sacrifice to make ,leave it behind.

    Mash x

  • hey JQ

    Thats great that you are going for it! I have 2 girls age 5 and 9 as well and my 5 year old has also pretended to smoke which was awful! Hadn't really mentioned to the girls I was stopping (was scared it wouldnt go to plan) am now on day 12 ad my oldest girl mentioned it to me on about day 6 - was nice that she had noticed(smoked outside too) and she was so pleased it has spurred me on!

    Good luck

    x

  • All the best for tomorrow, JQ. Wise words from Austin - if you're not able to summon up the 'motivation' to quit (even though you know you want to, if you see what I mean), then focus on why you want to light up instead. It can help to see the madness for what it is.

    Let us know how you get on

    Sue

    x

  • :) Hi JQ, You defo need a positive attitude something strong you can focus on, I know depression can be negative, but try and perservere, if you made it to 3 months last time try and read all your old posts, I went fown this path just like yourself, but you have to be the one who knows when its right.

    One thing I now say to myself no matter how crappy im feeling having one fag will not change how your feeling. Good luck

    Jacqui

    Quit dat: 10.2.12

    Member of fab febbers.

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