Want to/have to....

[nsd_user663_35121]

Hi,

I attempted to quit smoking last October (on Champix). Managed to get to 75 days. I'm constantly thinking about my next attempt and still read everyone's posts with interest and envy. This forum helped me greatly last time. I admire you all.

My question is motivation. What motivated you at that particular time when you smoked your last cigarette?

The battle in my head is this... I think I SHOULD stop smoking...what I want to know is, when will I WANT to stop?

Is a "should" quit less likely to succeed than a "want" quit? Or doesn't it matter? Is this just procrastination?

I'm interested in hearing about your 'moment' ...when you knew enough was enough.

Thank you

Lizzie X

ps. I'm 48, smoked for about 30 years (horrific!). Smoke about 20 roll-ups per day.

[nsd_user663_42145]

Hi Elizabeth,

Being Mentally prepared is the key, I think. Here is a link for Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking, you can smoke as you read it, I found he explained the whole addiction in a new light. Many of us on here have read it and found it a great tool. 75 days before, You can do it again

curezone.com/upload/PDF/Boo...

[nsd_user663_42220]

I definitely think you need to move your mindset from should to want.

We all know that we should pack up for a variety of reasons ranging from money to health but wanting to is a completely different story.

When my mother in law died from smoking related cancer years ago I knew I should pack up.

What did I do during each cancer ward visit? Nip out for a quick fag!

I'd been thinking I should pack up for a while again recently but didn't do anything about it.

A friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer immediately before Christmas and died on 25th January.

Whilst it wasn't smoking related it made my mind up and I wanted to pack up.

I did the next day and so far haven't touched one since.

That's my story but we are all different.

[austinlegro 11 Years Smoke Free]

I didn’t know it was my last cigarette while I was smoking it but as I flicked it out of my car window my mind did the “this has got to stop thing” so it did.

If I’m honest I’d just got bored with smoking. Outwardly I claimed to enjoy it but inside life just became one continuous search for suitable smoking places. My mind was full of morbid thoughts and I used to panic about leaving my kids fatherless etc

I think if you can catch your mind at a point where it’s happily led in a new direction it can be an easy quit.

I read Allen Carr's 'Scandal' that first day and that was excellent reinforcement.

I knew at the end of the first week I was no longer a smoker. I had no blips, no envious thoughts of smokers and things just seemed wonderfully smooth.

Despite 25 years of smoking I was quite surprised how quickly I seemed to forget about it.

I would dearly love to be able to find a technique that lets anyone reach their own moment.

[nsd_user663_20978]

my quit started out a SHOULD and slowly turned into a WANT to stop

i to read allen carr a few weeks in and i believe it gave me a whole new perspective on smoking and turned my should to a want

i did prepare for my quit about 8 weeks before my quit date we were out for a walk one day in november and we were puffed out walking up a small hill and coughing so bad that we decided we owed it to our kids and ourselves to be healthier and decided to do it on new years day so it had some significance.

at the time of decidng to quit in the november i was getting chest pains and tightnings, could bearly hear in one ear, and had a resting heartbeat of 100BPM and i could always hear my heartbeat in my ears , it was like my body was crying out for me to quit and since quitting i have not had any chest pains or tightenings, my hearing has returned to normal and my resting heat beat is around 70 and i cant hear my heartbeat in my ears now even if i run i still dont .

all of these improvements were in the first few weeks of my quit

i now see smoking for what it is and how it trapped me for so long i dont see it as something i want back or miss in anyway

hope this helps

boo

[nsd_user663_35439]

Mine was an accidental quit. My OH wanted to quit after the duty frees had gone. I sort of agreed because chest infections were becoming commonplace and breathlessness more so and being a stubborn fcuker, I have succeeded...so far...139 days!!!!.

Give it another go, don't dwell on it...grit your teeth and say fcuk it..."I'm a non-smoker" !!!!

[nsd_user663_42755]

I suppose I am still on Should - I need to regain my quit for health reasons. But increasingly, I want to as well. Sometimes, you can over think things.... this is what kept me smoking for weeks before trying again. The advice I got on here was get your head in the right place, and everything else will follow. Hope that this works for you.

Billy

[nsd_user663_35121]

Thank you everybody. It's lovely to see some familiar names and hear from some new ones.

I do tend to over-think and there will NEVER be the perfect moment.

I am slowly getting to the right head place...it may take a bit more time yet but I WILL get there. I WANT to get there!

Good luck with your continuing quits.

Love, LizzieX

[nsd_user663_18145]

Hi Lizzie

interesting post

you have to find your own reasons to stop and keep remembering why you have quit

also reading everything about the process of why we smoke will help you to change your mindset

when i think back to the scary moments when i used to make excuses to carry on smoking :eek:

even to being told by a consultant at the hospital that if i carried on smoking i would be dead within the next 9 years didnt faze me like it should have

and i still made excuses as to why i couldnt stop and how i needed wanted a ciggie

Then my daughter told me she was worried about my grandson who even though i didnt smoke in front of him he was always fascinated with watching me smoke and used to pretend to smoke with a crayon "told her that when he grew up he wanted to smoke just like nanny"

that was my wake up call to stopping which i planned and did in oct 2010 then i found this forum and with getting support and encouragement to stay quit and educating myself with the aid of some of the people on here that sent me links to read helped change my mindset

then in december my daughter presented me with another grandson who is now 14 months old and has never known me to be a smelly nanny

i hadnt realised that even though i didnt smoke infront of my other grandson he used to be able to smell it on me :eek:

Now i have been smoke free for 16 months and even though my main reasons for quitting was for my grandsons i have realised over time that staying quit is harder but

i know choose never to smoke again for me

i still get craves mainly watching something on tv when someone is smoking my mind will think ohhh ciggie but its just a fleeting thought actually being around a smoker now just makes my stomach heave i just hate the smell of them plus not sure if its because i used to smoke but i know by the smell if someone is a smoker even if they arnt smoking at the time

i hope you join us in wanting to stop

as you know you will get as much support as you need to help you in your quit

[nsd_user663_32615]

Welcome back, Lizzie.

My quit this time was complements of a moment of high drama provided by my doctor.

I was sitting there, looking my most pathetic, explaining to him why I couldn't possibly stop smoking despite my current and previous health crises....

While I was mid sentence, he suddenly stood up, threw his bunch of keys across the room, and walked out. :eek:

By the time he returned, I had seen myself through his eyes, and really wasn't very proud of myself. For the first time, I really understood that smoking had made a complete fool of me. We talked, he prescribed Champix, and the rest is history!

If I remember rightly, you were very nervous before your previous quit, as well. Maybe this needs to be a "Just do it" response? Either way, wishing you the very best of luck.

[nsd_user663_33441]

Hi Lizzie,

I can relate so well to the 'shoulds and the wants'. For many years I thought I should stop, but whether or not I wanted to is a different matter. I started thinking more about it a couple of years ago when I started getting pain and numbness in my left foot which made me afraid of circulation probs. But it still took me about a year to do anything about it. Then I joined this forum, the fact that I was googling suggests a bit of a want in there?? Read posts and felt inspired. Tried patches but didn't work for me. No matter, tried Champix, Bingo!! Had a 50 day quit, then too much stress so smoked for a bit. Had a 1 month quit then relapsed again. But the point is, I don't enjoy smoking anymore. They taste foul and having been quit I know what I am missing by smoking. The new energy, feeling about 12 years younger etc. Lizzie, I relapsed like you, and then the only reason for smoking was my addiction to nicotine and the fact that I couldn't be bothered to go through the withdrawals again. But here I am, only back in day 4 I know, but its good. And I remember one of your posts from when you were quit Lizzie, saying 'I love not smoking', and that says it all really. And I do think we both want to quit or we wouldn't be here on this forum

So come on Lizzie, read some of your old posts and see how good you were when you were quit. You will soon see that there is a huge 'want' in there

Love to you,

Zoe xxxx

I attempted to quit smoking last October (on Champix). Managed to get to 75 days. I'm constantly thinking about my next attempt and still read everyone's posts with interest and envy. This forum helped me greatly last time. I admire you all.

My question is motivation. What motivated you at that particular time when you smoked your last cigarette?

The battle in my head is this... I think I SHOULD stop smoking...what I want to know is, when will I WANT to stop?

Is a "should" quit less likely to succeed than a "want" quit? Or doesn't it matter? Is this just procrastination?

I'm interested in hearing about your 'moment' ...when you knew enough was enough.

[nsd_user663_24115]

Hey Lizzie If you dont yet WANT to quit then try being willing to be willing to want to stop. I never wanted to stop i just knew it was a bad idea to carry it on. to be honest i was scared of quitting , i didnt think i could do it. Eventually after a few tries and fails i got sick and tired of feeling like a piece of pooh. and i knew i wanted to feel better than that or die. so i read Allen C and most of the links on here . i grew to hate the idea of being a slave to tobacco companies. That was my motivation to quit and also hating the thought that i was condemmed to smoke for the rest of my life just to benefit someone else. i also dont want to have another stroke and end up having my bum washed by someone who gets paid to care . so i dared myself to stop and once id got into the first 5 mins of my first day, then I wanted to stop, and succeed , i started to get a buzz which cause d a craving for more of this good stuff . i just wanted more of it. for me its not a sacrifice its just wanting something better. i hope the penny drops for you soon im sure you got some positives out of your last quit. Id also been wanting to quit since i started too many yrs ago.

Give it a chance. if not now when?

mash x