Day 40??????

[nsd_user663_40237]

Ok, I have been grappling with this one for a while and think I should put it to question.

I smoked two cigs last Friday, should I go back to day 6?

I quit on New Years Day cold turkey. Didn't have a single puff until I got drunk and finally cracked when someone lit up in front of me near the end of the night. Then two weeks after that I was absolutely hammered and stopped caring for about an hour.

The first month was an awful struggle and I know just having one or two propagates the addiction, but I still feel like I've quit and am on month 2. so what do you think?

Now it's time for the rant, and you can stop reading now if you want. I had no idea how much of a struggle this was going to be and I only smoked around a half pack a day. All of you 1-3 pack a day quitters are an inspiration to us all, I can't even imagine what you have been through to stop. All of the generic information out there briefly goes over the benefits to not smoking and a little bit of science behind it. In reality, it feels like an ongoing war with your own body, from my own experiences. Smoking becomes so ingrained in life that once you stop, your brain makes up for it in different ways. I started eating more when I first quit, and have had a more than healthy appetite since then. So I gained some weight, and now I have to get back to eating healthy and exercising more. Unfortunately I could only start doing that after the brain fog cleared around week 3 or 4. Then the depression hit and other compulsive behaviors started forming. I finally feel like I am beyond all the really difficult parts, but now have new challenges resulting from my decision to smoke for so long.

It's frustrating, but at the same time I feel like since I quit smoking, that I am able to identify and deal with the new problems that arise. This forum has been amazing in helping me. So I am going to struggle on, because I don't ever want to go back in that hole I was in. Thanks for listening and good quitting to everyone!

[nsd_user663_41857]

You had a blip. So what? At least you got back on it.

My boyfriend watched his mam and dad stop smoking. His mam was a 60 a dayer! And his dad about 15 a day. He said his mam got through it in her stride, took it all on the chin and was relitavely calm. He said his dad was a absolute wreck. So I think it just depends on the individual mindset rather than how much we've smoked. We've just been addicted to the nicotine, doesn't matter how many times a day we smoked I reckon.

Keep strong!! X

[nsd_user663_12625]

the blip

if i were you i would just put it down to experience and continue from where you're at. i did the same a while back and went back to the beginning which was a mistake .

[austinlegro 11 Years Smoke Free]

All of you 1-3 pack a day quitters are an inspiration to us all, I can't even imagine what you have been through to stop...

Luckily there's no correlation between the no. of fags smoked and the difficulty in quitting.

Conversely heavy smokers are far more likely to have the epiphany that stops them smoking simply because they're cramming far more of it into their day and can see the futility.

Alas it's just another one of those:

I smoke too much to stop...

I'm too addicted...

I'm too stressed at the moment...

I wont be able to stop until...

If I stopped I wouldn't...

excuses that needed to erased prior to a good quit.

I'm sure far more people would have a nice easy quit if they could just forget what they think they knew and started with a nice, blank, but slightly smoky, sheet.

[nsd_user663_40237]

Thanks for the feedback!

Rochelle - I think you're right about it being dependent on the individual. Some days I feel like a wreck, but don't we all?!! It really has been a roller coaster though. I don't feel like a smoker any more, but the nicotine sure did pull one over on me.

Pfaber - I have been following your posts and one of the main reasons I asked was to find if it was helpful to go back or not. I think I will take it as a detour and continue from where I started this journey.

Austin - That was very insightful about the many reasons people don't quit and the barriers they put up for themselves. I have been guilty of a couple of those when I thought of quitting previously. Only when I got into the right frame of mind could I have a serious go at a quit (like now).

Thanks again everyone!

[nsd_user663_24115]

administration of a substance to an addict[are you an addict?] no matter how long it has been since that addict used that substance Will cause re-esablishment of the addicts dependance on that substance.

this is the first law of addiction.. u dont always get hooked straight away it could be days or weeks after but speaking fom experience just one puff leads to full blown smoking el rapido. there are no exceptions no smart arses that it leaves alone. you only need to say no to the first puff then u cant /wont have the second quit smoking for one puff at a time eventually the dots join up and four months have gone by.

Mash x

[nsd_user663_40738]

I think we should all be proud of our accomplishments. Today is day 42 for me. It hasn't always been easy but I am determined. When I quit I was a 60 a day smoker. I still shake my head at that one, how I ever got that bad.

I live with a smoker so I am tempted ALL the time. It's sort of like a small urge to have just one. I am getting really good at ignoring myself.

Just keep on keeping on and do not ever quit quitting!!! ppat

[nsd_user663_42755]

I would be very careful about any lapses - that was my downfall.

I didn't go back to 40 a day instantly. There were several deals that I made with myself.

Just when I go out somewhere special.

Just once a week.

Just every other day

Just in the evenings after work

Just after lunchtime

Just accept the fact that you are a smoker again.

It is a very slippery slope, is all I'm saying. I'm not judging you. I am just saying what my experience has been. Hope that you are able to stay off since then.

Good luck.

[nsd_user663_40237]

Just an update for this post. I've been smoke free since my last lapse.

The warnings you have given me are very important to acknowledging all of the aspects of my, or other people's, quitting experience.

Mash brought up addiction. Even though I haven't been smoking for the majority of 2 and a half month. I'm still on occasion showing some addictive tenancies, thus allowing myself to smoke.

PPat, thanks for your advice on temptation. The reality of my situation is that I am newly quit and should not allow myself to be in environments that involve my triggers and have strong temptations. I'll make sure to be more careful.

BillyO, I appreciate your advice on rationalizing my smoking. I don't think I even realized that I was making myself a deal of "only when I am REALLY drunk."

Thank you everyone for your input, you have helped so much along the way. This is the journey that I started on New Years Day, 2012. I will continue my way to being completely smoke free no matter how many, or few, set backs I have along the way.

[nsd_user663_41601]

BillyO that is an amazing post, I should have that tattooed onto my forehead! So, so true. Well done M2 for not falling back into the old ways.