well...I failed

Things were going so so good until this morning!

My husband, who smokes, was out of town yesterday which certainly made things a lot easier. He got home this morning and there imediately was a tension between us. I then had to head out to a doc's apointment.

I was born with a hip displacement and had an apointment today to discuss a possible surgery to correct the angle of my hip. Because I am a little overweight lately, my doc asked me how I am doing fitness wise and I told him all proud that I have not smoked for 3 days and that I plan on working out this afternoon. His reaction was "ooohhhhhhh!" and I asked him what he means by that. He said that I really need to focus on weight loss and that he does not recommend smoking cessation as that will most likely add a few more pounds to my overweight. I was so shocked I wanted to cry right then and there.

I then come home to find my husband being in a funk and I asked him what the matter is and he gets all snippy about how I have been having a terrible attitude and not just since I quit smoking and how I am being a b... lately and how "this" is not going to work...

Terrible terrible day! I smoked one and thank god my husband took all the smokes with him, but gosh this sucks...

6 Replies

  • That is terrible him saying that, I'm no doctor or anything but he must be one of the only doctor I know who says he'd rather you smoke then be overweight - that is awful.

    My doctor has said complete the opposite - I have piled on the pounds over the last few years and I was told they would rather me quit smoking and be overweight as smoking is far more harmful.

    I know it's hard but if you are determined you want to quit then just jump straight back on to the quitting wagon. Once you have quit and feel comfortable with your quit you will probably find you have the confidence and will power to lose the weight?

    You have to do what's right for you and maybe your husband is slightly peed that you are trying to take control of your life? and he is not ready or is scared to do it with his, I don't know??

    All the best to you

    Tinks x

  • That's a hiccup.... think no more about it and carry on with your hard work.....we will support you all we can on here :)

  • What a horrible day you've had Miss Mango.

    Don't beat yourself about one cigarette, that's not a failure.

    Can you see another doctor about your forthcoming operation? I have no medical knowledge whatsoever, but you seem to be getting unhelpful advice during a very stressful time.

    Husband..perhaps you could suggest he reads this forum to understand what you're going through.

    Try not to let all this negativity get to you.

    Love, LizzieX

  • you have not failed, unless you decide to fail.

    Now - that is the important bit

    At the moment, you have had a cigarette

    Which road do YOU decide to take now?

    Right - I want to yell and drag you with me into the no smoking world, come on - be my mate, we can do it - come on..........I mean Im not there yet but think it will be easier with others to help :)

    not failed - just started and took a wrong turn, like we aren't all human?


  • Good morning everyone!

    I guess today marks day 4 (or day 1). I did have that smoke yesterday and looking back, I don't even know why. I continued on with my smoke-free life as if nothing happened and I am so glad I did.

    Yesterday was such an awfull day; must have been International "bring-miss-mango-down" day or so! For some reason, everybody close to me had something really negative to say to me. But I hung in there...I cried like a baby, but I didn't smoke! :)

    As for hubby acting weird: yesterday he said that I suprised him with my plan to quit smoking (true, because I didn't plan it the way it happened) and he said he isn't "mentally prepared" for it and that he doesn't want the not-smoking/smoking to put a gap in between us.

    Regarding the doctor...well that was just a major bummer. I guess I expected him to do some kind of standing ovation because I quit smoking and to hear stuff like "oh-oh" or "well I gained 50 pounds when I quit" were just too much! He is right, I need to lose weight, especially if I want that surgery, but I can honestly say that I do not have the munchies, that I do not eat any sweets, that I do not snack in between meals and that I lowered my calorie intake. I mean come on now...it has to be possible to lose weight while giving up the fag!

    Anyways, thank you all for the support and kind words! I will let you all know how day 4 is gone later tonight. Have a wonderful day! :)

  • Hi Miss Mango, I think you're doing a brilliant job.

    That's a whole heap of fags you haven't smoked since you quit so bloody good on you. I do think you need a treat of some kind though, maybe a trip to hairdressers or massage, something to give you a boost xx

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