bored.

[nsd_user663_24115]

im so effin bored i think i will do something interesting like smoke a cigarette, i wont really i just wanted a rant. i am bored though and feel like there is something missing. i smoked for years with everything. it was my best friend and now its gone. I was very sick to have a best friend like that, it wasnt a friend just a substitute. its weird not smoking. smoking defined me. Its 2.30 am had 4 hours sleep and now wide awake and dont know what to do,feel fresh as a daisy loads of energy but am aware that i cant make too much noise, i live in a flat with thin walls and the guy underneath is a light sleeper. its very quiet and peaceful, perfect really ,the old me wants to make it more perfect by having a cigarette with it, they are like exclamation marks or drink mixers, vodka and smoke, whiskey and smoke, things go better with smoke. would you like salt and smoke on your chips. no ta just salt will do nicely is how it is these days, i,ll shut up now cos im boring you. nite nite all..

mash x

[nsd_user663_34721]

Mash, sorry to hear you are not sleeping well.

It is, strange how we associate "things with a smoke, Whisky, Coffee and the obviouse GOOD MEAL but me thinks we quickly forget the flipside.

Cancer and a "Smoke"

Addiction and a "Smoke"

Yellow Teeth and a "Smoke"

Bad breath and a "Smoke"

Smelly clothes and a "Smoke"

Chest infections and a "Smoke"

Yellow fingers and a "Smoke"

The list goes on and on, You are on the rite track

Well done on geting this far

Stay Strong

[nsd_user663_20558]

Mash, I know exactly how you feel. It's another aspect of the quit that you just have to ride out. Hard as it is to believe it, especially in the wee small hours when everything looks bleak, but you WON'T always feel this way. It is a slow process - but give it time and you will get a new sense of self. A new sense of identity as a non smoker. (And considering the number of years it took to ingrain this deep psychological habit, it takes a comparatively short time to undo!) What feels like a loss now will feel nothing but gain. So don't give up.

It's what these little affirmations and mantras are so good for. Even if part of you doesn't really believe those positive statements right now, keep saying them over and over. Eventually they will become part of your consciousness.

Hang in there. Tomorrow is a bright new day.

H

[nsd_user663_36288]

Hi Mash - I think all of us who've smoked for a looooong time (30+ years for me) understand EXACTLY what you mean. I've consciously sought out new things to do which I don't associate with smoking (knitting, anyone?!), but many of my old 'habits' (notably my beloved crossword with a coffee or glass of red) feel - well, like there's something missing ... Which feels sad. I guess it is part of the grieving process. Even though we understand that there is nothing to mourn (and everything to celebrate), it still feels hard without that cigarette...

Thank heavens for the generous souls who are ahead of us on this journey and who assure us that this is just another part of the quitting path, which will not feel this rocky forever.

We've come too far now to turn back - that's for sure. One day at a time, eh?!

Sue

[nsd_user663_32615]

Cover your ears, Karri...

Hi Mash

I have had problems staying asleep for four months - I am generally awake by 3 am regardless of how late I go to bed. And once I am awake, I have to get up.

As a smoker, my early morning smokes before the rest of the family got up were always part of the general sense of peace and tranquility before the day really got going. And I won't lie, these were the fags that I probably missed most and for the longest time after I quit.

I haven't solved the sleeping problem, but I can honestly say that I have long got over the feeling that I need or want to smoke. Like Sue says, we are all experimenting and developing new habits. For me, between three and five in the morning, it is "anything goes" in terms of watching TV - things that I would never consider at any other time!

Don't worry - you won't always feel this way.

[nsd_user663_24115]

Thanks folks for your replies, i guess these feelings of loss are part of the deal and iv always releived bordom with acigarette rather than just expeience it and do something more creative. im in this for the long haul and know these feelings will pass. iv been here before but i forgot.

mash x