What next ?

In recent days I have been trying to re-evaluate where I am with my smoking/non-smoking life and I thought the forum might have some interest in my journey.

I'm 62 years old and have smoked for most of my adult life. I've now not smoked for some 65 /66 days and generally the quit is doing well. Also stopped using NRT about 2 weeks ago.

There were 2 previous serious quits, one lasted about 6 weeks (approx. 15 yrs ago) and the second lasted about 6 months (almost 10 yrs ago, after two serious heart attacks that nearly killed me ). Technically one of them did as I had arrested and was resuscitated with electric shock treatment and, yea......I went back to the smokes even after heart attacks!! HOW DUMB IS THAT..:o. There were several other quit attempts that never really took off.

My health continues to be problematic, I stopped full time work about 2 years ago on health grounds (energy levels low), subsequent tests have shown significant heart disease, additional stenting was done early Sept. ( just before this quit ) and more work is needed on another chamber, possibly before the end of this year!!! I'm not suitable for by-pass, sooo only other possibility is that some of you nice folk out there have a spare, healthy heart and you send it on.... pleezzze.:rolleyes:

Shit, I cannot affort to smoke again.....If I do... it will probably be a one way ticket, probably on a slippy slope already and I'm just trying to slow down the slide.

Now.....what triggers are coming my way?....this seems to be my all consuming thought, everything is good now but what is lurking around the corner to trip me up cos I cannot afford to trip...

Thank you all for your help in getting me this far and thanks for listening to this rant.....:D

11 Replies

oldestnewest
  • PS.

    This rant was, I think, preempted by another hospital trip tomorrow.:)

  • Hi grumpie

    Quitting really will help you immensley with your heart problems, you know this already. It's amazing how smoking still grips us despite serious health issues, it's just not so easy to quit. My father never managed to quit despite serious health problems which eventually caught up with him. Easier said than done but you have done it and are doing it!! Grumpie I so wish for you that this quit is a breeze, and continues to be. I think at this stage it's all down to you and your willpower, to never give in to a passing fancy for a dalliance with an old enemy. I think the one day at a time thing still apllies at all times, if it ever gets difficult just say to yourself I'll wait and see how I am tomorrow......we all know tomorrow never comes, it's just another today with renewed willpower to fight :D

    Pip

  • Forgot to ask......why they said you not suitable for bypass graft?? Is it because you were still smoking at that time. Just wondering if NHS are getting even more hot under the collar with regard to smokers/surgery.

  • Hiya Grumpie....really feel for you. My dad is 53 and has a serious heart condition that is genetic and only a transplant can be offered to him. He smoked for 30+ years and has given up smoking for 7 years now. He really stopped smoking at the right time as if he continued to smoke it would seriously have affected his existing heart condition plus he was already showing mild COPD which also puts more strain on the old ticker. This is that "right time" for you to stop now...you can't carry on smoking, it's for real. You've already played the dice...how much longer can you keep winning?

    My dad just knows smoking is not an option or he will be pushing up daisies. It really is as simple as that. I am immensely and fiercely proud of him and of everyone who quits cigarettes. It's bloody hard to quit but we can do it. These little white sticks sold by wankers for profit will not get the better of us. You're doing marvellously. Have you read Allan Carr??? his perspective on smoking has really helped me. It doesn't help everyone but a lot of what he says makes a whole lot of sense.

    Lisa x

  • There were 2 previous serious quits, one lasted about 6 weeks (approx. 15 yrs ago) and the second lasted about 6 months (almost 10 yrs ago, after two serious heart attacks that nearly killed me ). Technically one of them did as I had arrested and was resuscitated with electric shock treatment and, yea......I went back to the smokes even after heart attacks!! HOW DUMB IS THAT..:o.

    Very dumb :( Your not alone though.

    My health continues to be problematic ... significant heart disease ... additional stenting was done early Sept. ( just before this quit ) ... more work is needed on another chamber, possibly before the end of this year!!!

    Your future really is in your hands!! You've a precious gift in your hands ... your life. Wanna swap your life for a fag?

    I'm not suitable for by-pass

    Not the news anyone would want to be given :( Crap! If your being written off cost wise now is the time to prove you've the fighting spirit to grasp back what you can. Maybe, health funds allowing, you can prove them wrong.

    Shit, I cannot afford to smoke again.....If I do... it will probably be a one way ticket, probably on a slippy slope already and I'm just trying to slow down the slide.

    A slippy slope already with only a slowing down left?

    What you got to live for? Loved ones, new hobbies, improved health, extended life ... grand children ?

    What you have got left is yours to determine and should not be dictated to by a smoking stick.

    Now.....what triggers are coming my way?....this seems to be my all consuming thought, everything is good now but what is lurking around the corner to trip me up cos I cannot afford to trip...

    Life is lurking round the corner. Life with it's ups and downs. Life that could be improved, extended, enjoyed, revelled in.

    As for triggers .... in the first year there are many. Spring, summer and sitting out, drinking, Christmas, New Year, funeral maybe, holiday abroad.

    Many more maybe. Some, maybe many of those will act as triggers but as your quit lengthens so does your resolve and your ability to stand strong against any triggers strengthen.

    Non smokers deal with these events day in day ... as ex smokers we learn how to manage them too :)

  • Hi Grumpie and well Done on your quit so far, your doing fantastic.

    Ive had 3 serious quits before and for quite a long time so the only bit of advise I can give and I will be reminding myself of this constantly is never have another puff again, not 1. 1 will only lead too 2 and so on.

    Im sure you have had your wake up call and you WILL do it this time.

  • Hey grumpie,

    It sounds to me like you are worried that you might smoke again, but that is good as it shows that you are NOT complacent, which can only be good. Complacency leads to relapse, but you have shown that you are not, so MORE GOOD :D You have your health reasons for quitting, you are into Month 3 now, and you have given up the NRT. ALL positive things :D So stop worrying, you know what your triggers are, and you have overcome them. AND you are supportive to eejits like me :p So if that is not the destiny to the penthouse then tell me what is cos I sure would like to know!!

    You ROCK my friend, so believe in yourself cos you are doing it, TRUST yourself :D

    TC,

    Zoe xxxx

  • I can only echo all the great responses- you're doing fantastically well. Don't be afraid of failure, you won't fail if you stay determined. No matter what comes, you only have to face one day at a time.

    So sorry to hear about all your health problems. But you're doing everything you can to be as healthy as possible. It might not fix the problems you have right now, but you can hold your head high and know that you're no longer doing anything to make it worse.

    Hang in there Grumpie. A penthouse barstool awaits....

    H x

  • One of the benfits of this forum, in my opinion, is that you can rant rubbish and then a lot of nice people translate your rubbish rants into logical common sense. That certainly is what has happened here so thank you each for your contribution of common sense. :)

    Pip:

    There wasn't anything "sinister" in me not having the bypass--- I had 2 reviews with the surgeon and basically a benfits vs risk discussion took place and the risks won. I was part of the discussion and realistically I think I made the decission. The door is open for me to go back. I probably, wrongly, sumarised this as "not suitable".....:)

    pol:

    You have properly dissected my rant and have left me with a lot of positive thoughts......thank you..

    Zoe:

    Your response has "hit da nail on da head" :- I am afraid that I am going to smoke again..... I have no great craves, I have no great desire, I have no pressure, need or intention to smoke..... but I am afraid because the consequences are so severe ( for me )...:(

    Una-g:

    You are so right in your comments about Zoe....." When she's good.....etc.

    Soooo very right..... Ha Ha

    To everyone else:-----THANK YOU. :D

  • OK, so when I am bad I am horrid, I know, I know, but I do pay bigtime for it and my tears are mine .... :(

  • Shit, I cannot affort to smoke again.....If I do... it will probably be a one way ticket, probably on a slippy slope already and I'm just trying to slow down the slide.

    Now.....what triggers are coming my way?....this seems to be my all consuming thought, everything is good now but what is lurking around the corner to trip me up cos I cannot afford to trip...

    Hi Grumpie

    Welcome to the Can't Afford to Trip Club. :p

    This for me has been the most powerful aid to quitting properly this time - there is nothing more motivating than being faced with the very tangible damage that has already been done...

    Strangly, I had always had a very cavalier attitude towards my health, just accepting that one day, I would die of cancer. What I hadn't anticipated was the fact that my heart and my lungs were in a race to finish me off, and that one of them would win way quicker than any cancer could. :rolleyes:

    It took Champix to get me through the initial fear of not smoking, but since about week two, I have had a real inner conviction that I simply can't go back ever again. It's kind of like that choice has been removed, so I don't need to struggle with it any more. It's actually been quite liberating for me - I don't feel I have needed to wrestle with conflicting feelings in the way that some people on here have.

    We may not be in the best shape in the world, Grumpie, but at least we have done the right thing for ourselves finally. If it's a choice of slowing the slide down or to continue to accelerate it, then slow it down we will. :o

    Best of luck to you. xxx

You may also like...