I've been a little quiet over the past week or so..... and for good reason
Today 'should' be my first calendar month quit day..... :rolleyes:
But.... following the formation of 'the perfect storm' last week-end
I've got to admit that I succumb to the Nico Demon :eek:
I actually smoked not x1, not x2, not even x3 ...... but a mind blowing guilt ridden x4 ciggies :eek:
Long story short, went out and consumed several pints (didn't even consider smoking whilst out in pub) got home, had silly alcohol fuelled argument with Mrs Dragon... and in a rebellious act of stupidity opened one of the four packs of unopened 20 ciggs, I have left over from unsmoked duty free's when I started my quit (13th Oct) and more or less 'chain smoked x3 fags'
Were they good..... mmmhhh .... not really, but they weren't terrible either (sorry but I'm not telling you guy's any lies) I felt a bit dizzy, but not awful....
But the main thing was the x3 fags did absolutely nothing for me. After not smoking for what was 23 (ish) days of which I believe I had it relatively easy regards my lack of craves, from about day 15/16 instead of craves I began to get this feeling of 'curiosity' that seemed to grow stronger each day about what a ciggie would taste like ?..... If I am being honest looking back I think I almost 'pre-meditated' my quit fail, ......have a few beers, a little row with my Mrs...... and there, as if by magic you have the perfect excuse to smoke !!
Anyway, here's the best bit......... at the time of smoking the x3 ciggs above I had an overwhelming feeling of f*** it !
The following morning I came downstairs and was greeted with a smelly ashtray in the kitchen and a now open pack of ciggs, with a lighter lay next to them inviting me to participate..... so I made my regular morning coffee, sat at the breakfast bar and stared at the ciggies for about 5 long minutes, shall I..... shan't I..... And I DID...... I lit a smoke and started puffing away, after all I'd lost my quit so what the hell, but then I thought you absolute tosser.................. over 3 weeks without smoking and the first time you have a few beers you give away your quit ?
With that, I stubbed out the ciggy after a few puffs and hopped back on the wagon......... I've also made the decision that if I'm going to stay quit I'm going to do it without the assistance of anything but myself !
So I am now both embarrassed and proud at the same time ???
Embarrassed to 'come clean' and inform you guys of my weakness but also proud to say that I personally believe that my 'blip / fail' whatever the technical term, will actually make my new quit even stronger because I felt that I needed to satisfy my 'curiosity' before I could truly take my quit to the next level. I have been floating around the forum 'quietly' since my blip but wanted to wait until I had completed a full week back onboard the 'quit wagon' before I posted.........
I am now 7 Days smoke free without any assistance but I truly believe that I would never have got here without initially 'Champix' but more importantly this excellent forum and it's wonderfully supportive members.
So guys, that's me coming clean....... not sure where I 'fit' officially ?
Am I in the 1 Month Quit gang with a blip ?? .....or back to the 1 Week smoke free club.
And what happens to my October 2011 quit group membership ? Do I need to apply to the November quitters group ....lol
Sorry for long post.....
The Dragon
xXx
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Sorry to hear you've wavered in your quit Dragon and had a few fags but well done you on going back on the quit wagon. That is hard to do. I did exactly the same as you last time in Nov 2009 but then went on to smoke for another 2 years!!!!!
It's funny last time I failed in my quit was with an argument with the other half. Your mind plays tricks with you and I think invents situations where you end up having an argument with your OH and therefore justification to smoke. I have done this countless times and when I was younger even blamed my OH!!! "See look at what you've driven me too!". ANyway, glad to see you've given up again.
I personally want you to stay in the October 2011 group, you've helped me no end with my quit and hey you're a member of the group, that hasn't changed. It's upto you which group you want to belong to i.e. if you want to start from scratch again or treat this as a blip. I think you ought to treat it as a blip as long as you've learnt something from it and identify when your mind is setting up another trigger event. Poor Mrs Dragon And when you've given up years in the future will it really matter if you gave up in October or November 2011. You'll be counting in years then mate, if you're counting at all.
I would definatly consider this a "BLIP" and very well done for getting straight back on board. That is a very hard thing to do, it often takes years to recover.
The Dragon is definatlly NOT slain(sp?)............ in my opinion!!
Dragon you seem to have coped with this very calmly and sensibly !
I think a blip is just that, you've jumped straight back on the horse
Perhaps other people have "secret" blips but maybe just aren't as honest as you!! As long as you woke up with renewed vigour then keep cracking on with your quit !!
I agree with the others, this was a blip. You have been a brave Dragon to come on here and confess, but it is clear that you are still a quitter through and through.
I'm not a member of the October group (Johny No Mates in July :o) but if I were, I would say that October is where you still belong. Those four stupid fags will be history in no time. They were part of your lesson, and I'm sure you won't be looking for a repeat....
Aww my precious Dragon friend, so sorry you smoked again. I know exactly how you feel cos yesterday I blew my 50 day quit due to my life circumstances becoming totally unbearable.
But the main thing was the x3 fags did absolutely nothing for me.
Same here, the fags didn't do anything for me either, not even sickness and dizziness. And the physical benefits of not smoking are too amazing to throw away, so I am quitting again tomorrow. Can't do it tonight cos with my luck a quit date with a 13 in it would be a total recipe for disaster:eek:
AND the Dragon is NOT slain, you already have another WEEK of not smoking under your belt, so be very proud of yourself cos you deserve to be
Like you, I am not going to take anymore bloody Champix as six weeks of nausea was too much to take. We don't need them anyway cos we have OURSELVES to rely on, and we have so much more brains than any stupid drug.
So listen up Dragon, WE are going to do this together. No matter what it takes. You helped me a lot in my first quit, and now we will help each other. Remember you have MASSIVE wings, and can breathe REAL FIRE
And, you are a very honest person, and honesty is a great tool to overcome an addiction with, trust me.
So TC Dragon, you/me WE are defo going to beat this thing.
I would count it as a blip. You got curious, you got under the influence (probably the anger more than the booze IMO), you learned from it.
To look at it from another angle, most non-smokers I know have dabbled out of curiosity, but I don't consider them ex-smokers. I know it's slightly different, you having been addicted, but those couple you had clearly didn't reawaken anything, you got the 'meh' that non-smokers get. So I don't see it as you need to start again.
Not sure if any of that made any sense... :rolleyes:
The Dragon was by no means slain, just temporarily befuddled
You have nothing to be ashamed of, most of us have had more than one attempt at quitting before it sticks,and you have jumped right back on the wagon.
I had a tempting moment and I thought about it long and hard then said to myself, I can choose to smoke or I can choose not to. I made the choice not to and that seems to have helped me. I know without any doubt that I wouldnt have been strong enough to do what you did. If I have one smoke I will never give up again. So I admire you for your determination and getting right back at it. Well done to you.
Be strong
Lillie xxx
And Zoe you will still be looking out for me as Dragon belongs in the October group then you have to stay in the September group. Im glad that you have come off the champix, I think with what you are going through in life you are too fragile to take it, and it can have serious side effects on people in your (my) situation. Thats why I wasnt allowed it on this quit. Just come back and stay in the month your in, this was a blip and Im sure everyone will support you. Love ya loads hunny xxx
You've done really well to get straight back on the wagon and go another week. I too would call that a blip. To go back to day 1 (or 7 in your case) would be a very harsh punishment I think so continue to enjoy being a member of the October club.
If I were you I would be greedy and have two quit dates, then you have covered all angles :)
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And when you've given up years in the future will it really matter if you gave up in October or November 2011. You'll be counting in years then mate, if you're counting at all.
