Wake up call

This week I took my first steps back into the 'real world' and started a computer course, only a two week basic word processing thingy, but I was a bit rusty:o I was really looking forward to it, partly to update my skills, and partly because I thought I would sail through it without having to panic smoke all the way there, and without having to sit there wondering when the break would be so I could have yet another cigarette. But today I got a shock. It was approaching break time when I suddenly got a really overwhelming craving for a cigarette, for no apparent reason. It didn't make me feel irritable or depressed, it was just THERE, right in my face. I kind of thought it might be because on previous occasions if I was on a course, I would be the first one out of the door at break time to light up, so it was part of the old habit and an unexpected trigger coming back to haunt me. So when the break did come I deliberately went outside with the smokers as I have to learn to be around them sometime, and I knew that however I was feeling I would not accept a cigarette if offered one. The other thing was that I didn't take my Champix yesterday as an experiment to see if I could manage without them, and I hadn't taken it this morning either. This is the worrying part as I have done this before and every time I do I get a craving when I am least expecting it, so how am I going to cope when I do have to stop taking it?? Hmm, need a plan for that. Anyway I am fine now. And tomorrow I am on the course again, so if that craving reappears I will be ready for it. Funny though how these unexpected triggers can pop up so suddenly after all this time lol.


7 Replies

  • hey zoe

    Good on you for resisting the urge. Have fun on your coarse and have am excellent evening

  • I tihnk I wlil go on a copmuret cuosre waht ouy htikn, od I ened it?????

  • OMG well done Zoe, that must have taken some doing.

    So proud that you didnt give in and have one.

    Keep it up

    Lillie xx

  • Haha lillie, it happened again today:rolleyes: So it definitely is an old habit induced craving. But I walked down the road with the smokers, went somewhere else and sat talking to smokers, and wondered what all the fuss was about really. Filthy ashtrays, a huge cloud of smoke and a horrible smell. It didn't mean a thing to me, apart from being a bit annoyed that my hair and clothes now probably stink of other peoples smoke.

    I have been thinking about the Champix and I have more or less decided that I am going to reduce the dose from two tablets a day to one. After all, I have been on them for nine weeks and I am as white as a sheet lol:(


  • I went into work the other day to take my sick note in and sort out my outstanding holidays( thats another story in itself:mad:) The 2nd person i saw was my smoking buddy, she came straight over gushing about how much she had missed me and said coming for a ciggy? I nearly went! lol. She was a bit upset that I had stopped saying awww who am I going to go with now?

    All this while I was sniffing her lmao, it wasnt strong as she obviously hadnt just been for one but the smell still hung around her. I just felt so proud and self confident. I know it sounds silly but I did feel really good.

    All the same going back to work is concerning me as my job is really stressful, but Im thinking to myself it isnt going to beat me so sod it!

    Well done you again, I hope that Im as strong!

    Lillie xx

  • You will be fine lillie, really;)

    I think it's the fantasy of a cigarette when we haven't got any that gets to us, once you come face to face with people smoking it's more of a yuck, yuck reaction.

    Zoe xxxx

  • Well done from me too Zoe - and thanks for sharing your story too - I find it so helpful to read about others' experiences and how they cope. You're so right - it's all just a fantasy, an illusion - but oh my when those cravings hit it seems like a very attractive one. Anyway, glad to hear you've got your head around this one - and hope the course is going well!


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