Had some negative thoughts today, but I'm trying to forget about them.
As I've probably said I can see the smokers from my desk at work. I DO miss them. I also miss that rebellious feeling of smoking.
I'm 47, single, no children and today I thought "what does it matter if I get sick and die earlier than maybe I should". I don't think I mean this in a self pitying way...or maybe I do?
It's just I can do what I like to myself. I have no obligations to anyone.
I know! I know!! I have no idea how horrible and painful that would be...
I know what I've said is STUPID...
I like being a non smoker, but I miss smoking! I suppose I feel more responsible as a non smoker. I've made a very adult decision to quit. And maybe it makes me feel old and conforming and oh, I don't know....
Blah!!!
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Lizzie - you have just finished week 3, the terrible threes, the quit is no longer novel and you're feeling a bit fed up...Have a read of everyone elses posts at this stage (google stop smoking day 22) and you'll see this is totally normal!!!
You know the benefits of staying strong - better health, more money, not stinky - its just the stoooopid nico monstery thing messing with your head!!!!
Zoe was talking about the various 'rooms'/timelines - you've finished week 3 so can post in the 'month 1' 'room'
I'll be waiting for you in Month 2 room (9 more days!!!)
I'm single too, but I still have mum to think of though. I know what you mean about the rebellious thingy, I keep wondering what I can do that I'm not supposed to:confused: knock a policeman's helmet off maybe cos I feel a bit old and conformist too. Don't mind the old but conformist?? Me?? Never!!!! Anyway, we are being a bit non-conformist by not smoking, less money for the tobacco companies AND the goverment:cool:
Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect
£200.
Dontcha just love Mrs T
Don't worry Lizzie, we'll find something rebellious to do and end up in the same cell together. Meanwhile pack up your kit and call the removal men cos you are in Month 1 now yaay!!!!
Sometimes after the initial fight and strength we have to get on a quit and stay on it the reasons for doing it begin to fade a little. That is what I find. You are full of strength and motivation at the beginning and that settles as we get into a quit. That is the time we need to reaffirm why we are doing this (something I will remember to do myself this time).
Remember your reasons for doing this. Do some more reading to re-inforce the fact that you are doing the best thing for YOU.
Thank you everyone, I feel so fortunate to have found this forum.
You are ALL right.
I am (slowly) getting used to being a non smoker rather than a smoker.
Zoe is right...perhaps I should put those rebellious thoughts into something else. ...I am not 15 after all (yes Mrs T, its not big and its not clever...I have a 14 year old niece...would be VERY unhappy if she started smoking)
And true there's nothing wrong with being "old"...maybe I'm attached to an identity which doesn't suit me anymore.
You know I truly feel I couldn't do this without you.
If you're feeling rebellious can you piss on my bosses car???????
Seriously....smokings not cool anymore...and who are you rebelling against...my parents don't give a hoot anymore. Now grandkids mind you... you can't let him do this, say that, go there....!!! yes mom. LOL!
Seriously...you're doing great and it's your subconcious trying to trick you into having a cigarette.
I'm going to jedi mind trick you..."these aren't the cigarettes you're looking for"!
"In fact there are no cigarettes left on the planet" - obi wan
Elizebeth, in all this process it's been the thing that has taken longest, to understand the 'identity' thing - seeing smoking as part of my personality. I started smoking because I liked being rebellious, I continued smoking because I didn't wish to be conformist. I clung to smoking because I thought that if I stopped, I would have entirely succumbed to being middle aged and dreary.
As I say, it took a long time and it's been a gradual change, but now the veil has been well and truly taken from my eyes. Smoking was not part of my personality. It was something I did at the same time as being youthful and rebellious and nonconformist, but to remove smoking from my life has not impacted on who I am at all. Stick with it, and I know that you will eventually feel the same. You are who you are, and putting some leaves and paper in your mouth and setting fire to them has nothing whatsoever to do with it.
Maybe, aside from quitting the fags, you're recognising a need to shake things up a bit. Do something new, celebrate the change and don't mourn it!
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