Start of Day 5 Musings

Hello everyone, found this forum via Google and have been reading it over the weekend just to remind myself other people have done and are doing what I'm doing now, so it's far from impossible.

I smoked for 14 years with 2 prior quit attempts lasting a week and a slightly more successful 3 months. It took 40 months from the last quit attempt for me to give up for good this time.

Last time I used champix, which did the trick but I spent 3 months in the darkest moods I've ever experienced, which didn't seem to help me too much when I was coming off of them.

On Thursday the 1st of June at 11.15pm I finished my last ever cigarette. It wasn't as nice as I hoped, so the final memory is a little bit sullied. Since then I've been clinging to my rather nifty looking Nicorette quickmist spray thingy like it was an extra limb.

It seems to be working, also I'm using it a lot less than I thought, if each time I used it was a smoke I'd be down from 20 a day to 10-15.

Thanks to the spray I'm not getting too much physical withdrawal, right now it's all very much a battle going on in my head. I'm not that strong willed it turns out, which has thwarted me in the past.

I consider myself a clever bloke, but the less clever part of my brain keeps shouting out, 'If you're missing it, have one!' The clever part unfortunately is quite easily lead and also a bit of a tart. When the stupid part keeps offering up such a seductive statement he is tempted to bend over and go with it.

So that's where I'm at right now. In my head the yearning to go back to my old routine has somehow become a smutty story. Tomorrow I've got to go to work and try and keep the more clever part of my brain on the straight and narrow.

It's going to be dead easy to pop into Spar, The shop at the train station, the dodgy little shop by work that looks like the shop in Shameless or even the really overpriced garage and pick up 10 fags. It won't as easy to walk on by, not pop in and keep listening to my iPod and keep an eye out for muggers whilst telling myself I really can do it.

I know why I'm doing this, I know who I'm doing it for but right now I need to keep reminding myself of all of this. Days 1 to 4 have been rough, I'm not doing them again.

53 Replies

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  • Thanks Karri! I made it past several shops this morning and had an almighty internal battle when buying my lunch, however I've made it to work and haven't smoked.

    Good luck for tonight, am cheering for you from here.

  • Hi Mr White :)

    I'm on Day 6 today and know exactly how you are feeling. I had a horrific day on Saturday from the minute I opened my eyes and it was because I was so depressed I was going to have a drink that night without smoking. The depression I felt was unreal, but thanks to Niquitin mini lozenges and willpower I overcame it. The elation I felt on Sunday morning knowing I didn't give in has kept me going thus far, and I'll keep on going cause I know I could never go through another day like that again!!! Reading the posts of the veterans on this site spurs you on too, cause you know they've all went through what we are going through now and they've made it.

    So good luck, keep strong (and sane), we can do this :) :)

    PS I'm a huge LFC fan - are you a Red or a Blue? ;)

  • hello mr white

    Well done in getting to work, and past those temptations - it is so hard at the beginning, but with time it will become second nature to you.

    I think the way you describe the addiction in your brain is the way most smokers feel, I wish i had a way with words like you, i enjoyed reading your post:)

    good luck getting through today

    you can do it :D

    daizy x

  • Hi Blonde, thanks for the kind words! Have only lived in Liverpool for 10 years, from Oxfordshire orginally so I'm a yellow! (Oxford United)

    The posts from the hardcore survivors on here have provided me with quite a bit of inspiration. I've been hitting the water today and already it's providing me with a distraction over smoking. Where I'd usually leave my desk for a cigarette, I'm now popping off for a wee every 5 minutes instead.

    Over all I've had a few wobbles today, but nothing I've not managed to beat. Am thinking of going for a pint after work with a non-smoking friend. Little treat and as it won't be a big night out but a way of slowly dipping my toe into drinking without getting blind drunk and waking up with a traffic cone, kebab and a packet of Marlboro Lights all over the bed.

  • Good effort Mr White - good decision, right decision.

    There's been a fair bit of talk in here recently about place association and I'm very similar - I have no conscious, sane cravings about wanting a cigarette, where I feel weak is when I am in a place I associate with me previously smoking.

    Physically you're over the worst of it being quit for a few days, things will only get easier, the battle is re-training the mind to forget that you ever smoked and that's the hard one.

    I deliberately stayed away from the pub for 2 weeks when I quit as I knew I'd feel tempted and vulnerable, it actually wasn't as bad as I thought as my last attempted quit was before the smoking ban but it's still a challenge as I always associate 12 bottles of Bud with a kebab and 20 rollies !

    Every day is a battle but it's one worth fighting and the comforting thing is that it's a sliding scale of battles, always down, stick with it my friend, I wish you well.

  • Awww everyone is really nice here. Whilst I've no idea what World War 2 was like, I imagine this is the 'Spirit of the blitz' in action.

    Have got my friend cornered for that drink tonight, I think the main issue is that I drink a lot faster than all my friends so I'd go for a cigarette whilst they were finishing they're drinks as to keep pace. So either I've got to slow down a bit now, or buy a pint and a half to their pint.

    Option B it is...

  • Warning!

    :eek: Seriously, we're all a bunch of head cases on here.

    Why would anyone want to start smoking in the first place when you're guaranteed to turn into a fruitcake quitting???

    I can see a future antismoking advert forming here :rolleyes:

  • [QUOTE=Mr White;230323

    Have got my friend cornered for that drink tonight, I think the main issue is that I drink a lot faster than all my friends so I'd go for a cigarette whilst they were finishing they're drinks as to keep pace. So either I've got to slow down a bit now, or buy a pint and a half to their pint.

    Option B it is...

    LOL, that's one way to give up smoking - pass out at the pub!

    Good luck Mr White, sounds like you're doing really well.

  • Am having a bit of a wobble right now so I thought I'd put my thoughts about it in writing rather than reaching for the water again. (My bladder is really upset with me right now.)

    As the ladies from the office next door head down for a smoke, my brain is shouting 'GO WITH THEM, GO WITH THEM YOU FOOL.' Well obviously I can't go with them because first of all I'm writing this, and second of all I'd have to pop to the shop first as they smoke nasty rough fags that I would never touch so by the time I'd got some, they'd be done.

    So, by this logic, it's impossible for me to smoke right now.

    Easy!

  • Good man, good thinking. That's the way, one trigger at a time. Beat it into submission and then move on to the next one.

    When the ladies get back, go and have a sniff, trust me they will smell horrid - but don't make it too obvious or you may upset them!:eek: That's what you smelt like last week.

    Well done for reach for the forum not a fag!

  • 'Maybe you could use Horses therapy and keep some hottish snacks in your draw such as chilli peanuts or bombay mix. He swore by the stuff early on in his quit and after trying it myself I think the hot sensation you get in your mouth stops the craving for a cigarette'

    It does work Karri, but only because you're reaching for breath and sweating for hours afterwards !

    The chilli nuts are world class but I've grown immune to bombay mix, can't find a bag that burns the mouth enough.

    Peppered cashews work but I have to add in extra ground black pepper.

    And not that you'd want too many of them but I recommend Prawn Dansaks !

    Super hot Nandos chicken wings are the way forward....

  • Got it.

    When craving, burn my mouth. Simple but brilliant.

    Thanks a lot guys, just getting the thoughts out of my head is helping. The fact you're all commenting and offering advice is a bonus!

    I fell I should share a top tip with you all in return. If you're using nicorette quickmist as an aid to quit, aim is key. Whilst you'd think 'spray into mouth' is a simple enough instruction, apparently it's quite easy to miss. Straight onto tongue, into nose and in the general areas of the eye aren't fun.

  • lol - you ok? :D

  • Won't lie, stings a bit but I imagine cancer does too, so swings and roundabouts really.

  • your making me laugh today - thanks:D

  • 'stings a bit but I imagine cancer does too'

    LOL - comment of the day and won't be beaten !

  • I'm using the mini lozenges and they are an absolute Godsend. You can take up to around 12 a day (I'm only using around 6). Everytime you feel like you need a cig you pop one of these in your mouth and let it disolve (it takes about half an hour to fully disolve). You get the hit of nicotine right away and really takes the edge off, also with the swishing around in your mouth you're occupied for a half hour :) I've only had 2 today so far so I'm slowly but surely weaning myself off them, but I would deffo recommend them for the initial crave when you need a smoke :)

  • The spray is doing the job ok, providing I don't spray it directly into my eye. (Lesson learnt).

    I tried the lozenges many moons ago, but as I'm a cruncher rather than a sucker I wasn't really getting the right dosage. I'm not really sure why I chose the spray this time, maybe it was due to seeing it on an advert. (I'm very easily sold to, God bless the ban on tobacco advertising.)

  • Don't mind me, just typing my way through another pang.

    Lunch was a very sad looking sandwich. Once I'd taken the cucumber out (I know they say it's safe but I'm not going through all of this to end up dead at the hands of salad) it was just crap ham on dry bread. Usually a cigarette makes up for crap lunch but not today.

    Now I'm back at my desk, swigging at water like a lush to gin, huffing on my nicorette spray and chewing gum like I'm on something. I tell you one thing, I look hot right now.

    That evil part of my brain has turned it up a gear. It's moved from 'One won't hurt,' to 'Well I know one won't make you feel any better, but I bet twenty will!'

    Stupid seductive brain with it's stupid logical reasoning. It knows I'm not very good at denying myself stuff it wants. I'm a bit like Veruca Salt off of Charlie in the Chocolate Factory, only a man, an adult and not fictional. I suppose right now smoking is my Ooompa Loompa, except there's no one else here to tell me no so I've got to do it myself.

    I think I've come to a compromise. If on the 3rd of April 2073, as I turn 90, I haven't already been hit by a flying car, or the Robots haven't risen up and enslaved mankind I will allow myself one Cigarette. I think it's a fair compromise.

    So it's no longer day 5 of my quit, it's just 22581 days until I'm allowed one.

    Can't wait.

  • thats not long .. you'll be fine

    keep goin :)

  • Poo. I've only got about 13,500 days till I'm 90. :(

  • Poo. I've only got about 13,500 days till I'm 90. :(

    Poo? You're so lucky. I'd give my arm to be 90 tomorrow ;)

  • Poo? You're so lucky. I'd give my arm to be 90 tomorrow ;)

    LOL

    Not much point in doing that - you'd only get one fag in your mouth at a time!!

  • If they're from a health store then not a huge shock that I've not tried them - do you get that 'I need a gallon of water' feeling 20 seconds after eating them ?

  • May actually just set fire to my mouth. Feeling a bit punchy now, have closed my office door and people are now keeping their distance.

    Think I may call off the pub and go straight to bed at half five. Surely can't smoke if I'm asleep? (If it's been proven otherwise, please advise?)

    Am considering relocating my office to the loos for the next for weeks, due to the amount of water I'm now drinking it does seem to just be going straight through.

    Am aware that I've now stopped making any sense. Doubt I'll be able to add to this rambling thread anymore until I get home. My plan now is to throw my computer at the next person who comes into my office. Then my desk. If they survive that then they may leave.

    :mad:

  • I think by day 5 I was still so lightheaded I would have sounded drunk and certainly made no sense when people spoke to me - I remember walking into things as well.

    I worked on the view that whatever damage I do to myself walking into things must be better than smoking.

    And whatever you think of your staff, you are currently providing them with much entertainment, unless you have actually harmed any of them.....

  • I'm actually the most junior member of staff in the business!

    I've only been here 4 weeks, my position will evolve into a senior management one over the next few years if all goes to plan, but as it stands I'm pretty much left alone to create my own job based on a brief and a desired outcome given by the director.

    In my old job I had 9 staff, probably best I don't have them any more! My co-workers do seem to be finding my outbursts rather amusing. Plotting their downfall is taking my mind of the you know what to a certain extent.

  • LOL Karri, you're loading up then eh ?

    Had a drink with a West Indian friends on Saturday, he has suggested home made jerk chicken patties from his Sister, I've put an order in for 4 dozen.

    Good luck for tonight !

  • CHOCOLATE LIMES... OMG where, which health food place, how much.... I need them NOW sound amazing...:D

  • Pffft don't apologise! Anything to keep me destracted is good for both me and those I work with.

    I'm also rather keen on food. I've decided to put on as much weight as possible whilst quitting. Am currently pondering what I can deep fry tonight.

  • Day 6

    Hello! *waves*

    So as my mood got darker and darker yesterday to the point that I had two choices when I got home yesterday. I could go to bed or I could punch some kittens in their stupid cute faces. Due to me not driving and the pet shop being quite far away, I went to bed very early.

    Still didn't sleep, which in a way seems to have helped me today. I've become very zen like over my not smoking. I don't seem to have the energy to get caught up in a craving, so I just reach for my Quickmist and carry on with my work.

    So have cracked it. 4 hours or less sleep removes the energy required to want to smoke.

    Am genius.

  • Mr White - did you mange to avoid an office massacre yesterday?

  • Mr White - did you mange to avoid an office massacre yesterday?

    Surprisingly yes, although I've been here for two and a half hours today and no one has come into my office! Think they're all still scared.

    Might leave a trail of sweets from the hall to my desk to see if they'll come in and be my friend again.

    Plan B is to storm their office and call them all cowards and challenge them to a fight.

  • Plan B is to storm their office and call them all cowards and challenge them to a fight.

    I am no expert but I think that plan only works if you go bare chested, with a jumper tied by the arms around your waist.....still let me know how that works out for you!!:D

  • I did make a point of going straight to Sky News last night half expecting a breaking news massacre of Korean proportions (apologies to any Koreans in here).

    Glad you had an early night (as is most of Merseyside no doubt)

  • I am no expert but I think that plan only works if you go bare chested, with a jumper tied by the arms around your waist.....still let me know how that works out for you!!:D

    My friend, you've just discovered the cure for the 3pm slump!

    I did make a point of going straight to Sky News last night half expecting a breaking news massacre of Korean proportions (apologies to any Koreans in here).

    Glad you had an early night (as is most of Merseyside no doubt)

    In all fairness, they would have deserved it. Am sure they were thinking nasty things. Their eyes spoke volumes.

    Can hear people outside having a fag now. I think I've got the last laugh, whilst they're outside smoking, I'm typing on a forum. BOOOYAH!

  • Nice work mr White - i am also a zen zombie

    uuuuuuuurrrrrrgh :)

    and i did sleep!

  • Nice work mr White - i am also a zen zombie

    uuuuuuuurrrrrrgh :)

    and i did sleep!

    Am acutally quite scared of zombies. Now that I'm no longer smoking it's bound to be the zombie apocolypse that finally finishes me off.

  • that would be a good excuse to start again - about the only one i havnt come up with yet on previous quit attempts :D

    any zombie activity where you are?

  • that would be a good excuse to start again - about the only one i havnt come up with yet on previous quit attempts :D

    any zombie activity where you are?

    All quiet on the undead front so far. All dead where they should be.

  • oh well ...best have a choccie biccie then - or 2

  • New Quickmist side effect discovery: Actually just dribbled.

  • Counting down the 2 hours 11 mins until I hit 6 days exactly. May treat myself with booze.

  • nice one - yep i think there should definately be a treat for 6 days, have a nice everning:D

  • nice one - yep i think there should definately be a treat for 6 days, have a nice everning:D

    Thanks very much. There's nothing on TV at all, so I'm staring at the clock on my computer. Might make myself a friend out of a sock.

  • well theres bloody motorbikes on mine! - im wondering if its too early to hit the sack :rolleyes:

    say hi to sock man from me :D

  • He's called Jasper. Jasper the sock puppet. He's my best friend.

    Having my beer now, bed before 10 I think.

  • Beware the beer Mr White, it can weaken the best of 'em....

  • Boys... You REALLY need to get out more. Oh, sorry gotta go my pet rock is calling!

  • Wish I had a bet rock....

    Having a beer at home isn't too bad because there's nowhere open after 8 that really sells fags by me, so if I do break down im still far too lazy to walk two miles to the 24 hour Tesco.

    Onto day 7, had best night's sleep I've had in a while last night, feeling oddly confident about today.

  • Well done on day 7 - I'm day 8 today and only had one lozenge yesterday so all's good in da hood :)

  • Morning , glad your feelin a little brighter today , and got some kip last night.

    Have a good un

    daizy x

    p.s say hi do jasper :)

  • Morning , glad your feelin a little brighter today , and got some kip last night.

    Have a good un

    daizy x

    p.s say hi do jasper :)

    Am afraid Jasper met his end via a 40° wash last night. He'll be missed.

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