No Smoking Day
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Diary of a quitter- Day 17

So glad to have my wife home. Am having to do everything for her atm and have been unable to post for a few days, but don't mind. Anyway, on with my diary.

So, here I am. Into my 3rd week and I haven't caved in yet. I am officially going mad though. Been feeling decidedly grumpy over last few days, despite having lots of reasons to be happy. Is this normal?

It's like I wake up every morning and my first thought is "Right, Who can I have an argument with today"? I'm putting it down to missing the smokes for want of a better explanation. The good 'ol drinking straws are still proving invaluable. I've noticed I don't get out of breath anywhere near as easily as I used to.

In an effort to alleviate the morning craves, I've taken to barking at the postman. You all should try it. Helps with grumpiness too.

For the best effect get an old envelope, tear it into thin strips and chew them up a bit. Then, lie in wait for the postman (it helps if you have an accomplice to act as lookout - I use a conveniently placed 5yr old son).

The next steps are all about timing. When postie walks up garden path you need to be hunched down at front door underneath letterbox with your chewed up bits of envelope in a free hand. Then.. as he inserts the letters through the letterbox do the following all at the same time.

1. Hurl your entire weight at the door. You are trying to achieve a window-rattling thud here.

2. At the top of your voice, let rip with your best impression of a psychopathic rabid Rotweiller on bad acid. One bark only for dramatic effect. (for those that can't do a deep voice - impression of yappy little ankle biter is acceptable)

3. Grab hold of letters (preferably while postie still has hold of other end) and violently waggle them about in the letterbox before snatching them in.

4. And for the coup-de-grace, take your chewed up bits of envelope and blow them out the letterbox creating gently wafting cloud of debris. Snarling sound effects can be used to embellish.

Collapse in heap of silent rib-shaking mirth and await letter from Royal Mail. Meanwhile, rejoice in the fact that you havent thought about smoking for 5 minutes

onwards and upwards.

5 Replies

oh you have a sick sense of humour but love it. Made me chuckle to myself. Looking forward to day 18. Congrats. Oh excuse my ignorance but why are you doing everything for you wife. Not that I am complaining it is refreshing to hear. Has she been poorly, pregnant?


Hey hodge,

You sound right chipper :D

I'm so glad your wife is home. Hope she's soon on the mend. Don't bark at her, whatever you do.

Week three is really hard, I was in rags, began to think I was just such a compulsive person that I would be thinking constantly of smoking for the rest of my life. It does improve though, so hang tough.

H x


Oh Hodges, brilliant!!!!:D

You are of course completely barking, but hey you have had so much to deal with you have earned the right!

I picked on my OH for the entire 7 days of week 3. But he is fully fit and in the process of giving up himself, so simply yelled back. The perfect harmonious couple!

Keep up the good work and tell your wife we're all rooting for her.


i wish hodges and his wife all thhe luck in the world.

my dad has cancer also, his is terminal and he was told 12 to 24 mths. That was 2 years ago and he is still a picture of health. Definately all about positive attitude and having fun everyday if health allows. Sounds like hodges is the perfect prescription.


Brilliant! You are doing so well :D:D:D


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