A month in....

[nsd_user663_22748]

Well, here i am a month into my quit and although on one hand i'm like "waaaa-hoo, yeeeeee-haa!" about it i'm also feeling like crap! I'm constantly knackered and i dont mean just a little bit tired - i mean knackered! I'm constantly bloated with a tummy so swollen you'd be forgiven for asking when it's due and nothing seems to shift it.

I saw my doc 10 days into my quit to check everything was ok and he says both are just normal symptoms of quiting smoking and that things would settle down on their own. But nothing is changing and it's beginning to make me fed up!

I thought i was more or less over the worst of the cravings but then this weekend and today i havent been able to stop thinking about cigs! I have carried an e-cig in my pocket 'for emergencies' since the beginning of my quit and it has been a godsend when the cravings have been strong but i had gradually got while i used it less and less - somedays not at all until this weekend and today has been so bad that when it went flat i freaked and nearly bought some fags! I must have been in a state cos i walked into the shop, picked up a magazine and blurted "please dont sell me any cigarrettes because i dont smoke" the shop keeper must have thought i was a nutter! I left that shop cringing with embarrassment and decided the health food shop would be a welcome distraction... wrong! within seconds i'd managed to 'find' the herbal cigarette section, buy a packet and grab a passer-by for a light!

Now i feel really bad cos i dont know if that was cheating or not? on one hand it was smoking - so it was cheating but on the other hand it wasnt a 'real' cig - so it wasnt 'real smoking'???? oh i dont know! and now i'm rambling too....

Oh, and incase anyone was wondering........ The herbal cig tasted crap and my son said i smelt like i'd been smoking weed

[nsd_user663_22748]

Unless you have got an e-cig with zero nicotine refills you are putting nicotine back into your system. If this is the case then that might be why you're having such desperate craves.

They are the lowest nicotine refills and im using 24hr patches so the nicotine is constantly in my system anyway so would this still be causing the craves?

Go out, meet up with friends, go to the gym, bake, in fact do anything to get you through.

This is where i start to sound like a sad individual........

My mobility is pretty poor so i don't really get out much.... I dont really have any friends... when my mobility started to reduce and i tired easier my friends just got on with their lives and i kind of got left behind......

Anyway, on the bright side - i dont have an illness that will kill me and i'm no longer a smoker so wont get any nasty disease from that either!

[nsd_user663_22748]

I am so sorry, I hope I didn't come across as insensitive

:D You probably made my day by assuming i was an 'able bodied normal'.... that probably doesnt make any sense to you but trust me, you weren't insensitive! :D

[nsd_user663_22999]

Hi Tamwill

Stick with it, you have done so well so far - and I don't reckon herbal things from the health food shop count myself.

You had me crying with laughter at the visual image of you in the papershop. Good on you.

Been there with the bloating - it's just gone about a couple of days ago so hopefully yours will too. The knackered feeling went about a week ago, and I think it only went because I forced myself - and I mean forced - to go for a walk. Now I know you're not very mobile, but do you swim, or can you get to a pool maybe? Can you still go for a walk, even if it's a slow short one?

Cravings? Hideous aren't they, but they are getting easier for me and they will for you too. Promise!

[nsd_user663_22748]

I can walk, but not far enough to go for a walk if you know what i mean. And i fall a lot......

When the weather gets better my hubby gets my mobility scooter out before he goes to work, leaves it outside the front door and i get out and about with the dog for hours - so the summer will be great. The last twice he has left it out at this time of year its ended in disaster - the first time i fell cos i was rushing to cover it up so it didnt get wet and the second time i didnt realise how chilly it was and ended up so cold that my joints had gone solid and i had to sit and wait for someone to come and help me off it and back into the house He refuses to get it out now unless the weather is predicted to be a decent temp....

With regard to swimming, i love to swim and i go as often as i can but again cos i'm unsteady and tire easily it's not something i can do unaided so it's not something i can do as a distraction....

God i'm a right case arnt i! lol! Managed to shove fags in my gob for the last god knows how many years but cant take myself for a walk or a swim! haha!!

Divingdale - you are only a day ahead of me in your quit so hopefully my bloating should be on its way out too and as for forcing the knackerd feeling to go away...Maybe i'm just expecting too much... part of my illness is fatigue and the meds i take dont help either so maybe i dont actually feel any more knackered than i did before i quit - maybe i just notice it more because people 'say' non smokers have more energy?

I mean, when you strip it bare and look at it from a realistic point of view.... I am no more able to run a marathon as a non smoker than i was with a 30 a day habit!

[nsd_user663_22748]

I mean, when you strip it bare and look at it from a realistic point of view.... I am no more able to run a marathon as a non smoker than i was with a 30 a day habit!

The realisation of this has just hit me! i think i expected quiting smoking to drasticly change/improve my life and i've just realised that with or without a fag - this is still my life and i'm still just me........

[nsd_user663_20558]

The realisation of this has just hit me! i think i expected quiting smoking to drasticly change/improve my life and i've just realised that with or without a fag - this is still my life and i'm still just me........

You're not alone in this realisation!

But hey - it is improving your life. And 'just you' is a pretty amazing person to be! From what I can see you're intelligent, you have a great sense of humour, and you're made of pretty tough stuff too!

It does sound to me though that you'd really benefit from extending your social life. Is there any way you could get yourself to a night class or something? Just doing something a bit different in the company of other people can do wonders for your mood and for your self esteem.

I'm sorry you're finding it so tough. But stick with it, it does get easier.

H xxx

[nsd_user663_22748]

It does sound to me though that you'd really benefit from extending your social life. Is there any way you could get yourself to a night class or something? Just doing something a bit different in the company of other people can do wonders for your mood and for your self esteem.

This sounds like a good idea! Maybe not a night class cos i'm more tired in the evenings but something to do during the day that would get me out sounds like just what i need. I drive so providing i can park right outside somewhere i would be fine on my own.

Any ideas what i could do or where to start looking??

[nsd_user663_20558]

It really depends on your interests! Which city are you in?

[nsd_user663_20558]

I just googled daytime courses in oxford and found, at a glance, photography, dressmaking, italian, life drawing, cake decorating and cookery classes...

Also, evening classes don't usually run late. If you were able to get a bit of rest during the day maybe, you might be able to manage it. But in any case... plenty of afternoon stuff out there

[nsd_user663_22748]

It really depends on your interests! Which city are you in?

Does talking count as an interest? i can do that sooooo well! even the meter readers wish thay hadnt called at my property! Maybe i could just do with coffee mornings where people get together and just talk to each other and from talking i could find out what other people do in my area cos i'm sure i'm not the only person with mobility problems in my area!

I'm in Huddersfield

[nsd_user663_22999]

Hi Tam

i've just googled friendship clubs Huddersfield and there seem to be quite a few in the area, although obviously it'll depend on how accessible they are for you.

I'm down in Dorset and our local town council is very good at providing info on such things.

It'd be great if you could get involved with something like that, as you wouldn't be able to smoke there either!

best of luck in your search, sounds like you ready to go and grab life by it's bits!