Thoughts for the day

I was just sitting here thinking about having a fag. Not craving, especially. Just thinking 'gosh, I'd love to have a cigarette today.' Remembering how much I 'enjoyed' smoking. So I thought it was time to take stock of where I've got to.

1) I'm quit 43 days today. It's been a rollercoaster but the ride is definitely getting smoother now. I have far more days of feeling fine than I do of feeling crappy.

2) My breathing is so much better. I don't cough in the mornings any more, or indeed at all. I am no longer coughing up nasty tarry stuff. I don't need my asthma inhaler. I used to think it was a really long run from my house to the bus stop and I would arrive there gasping for air. It isn't a long way, it was ME. I'm sitting here taking really deep breaths and I can literally feel how much cleaner and healthier my lungs are.

3) I don't smell. Other smokers STINK like filthy ashtrays.

4) I have more patience, especially with my kids, because I'm not constantly thinking about my next opportunity to sneak away unknown to them and have a fag because they're driving me mad. Oddly enough, now I don't need to do that, they're NOT driving me mad (well, not nearly so often :D) Have realised it was the addiction making me impatient, not them. What a revelation.

5) My sense of smell has improved so drastically I am frankly amazed.

6) Ditto my sense of taste.

7) I'm not much better off financially because I smoked rollies and not that heavily; nonetheless I feel a sense of pride that I'm not handing over ANY of my hard-earned cash to the evil, criminal tobacco companies who are profiting from the slavery and agonising deaths of hundreds of thousands of people.

8) I don't have to go out in the cold and rain and stand by the filthy bins to get my fix at work any more. Ha ha ha!

9) My breath is so much fresher.

10) I have more energy.

11) I'm not so frightened for my future now. I saw one of the kids grandparents from school the other morning. He was sitting in his car waiting at the gate, with an oxygen tank at his side, looking like death, clutching the breathing mask in one hand and a fag in the other. I looked at him and thought 'that will never be me'.

So... could I light up a fag? Yes, I suppose I could. Will I?

No. Not me. Not one puff, ever again.

Hope you're all having good days, fellow quitters!

9 Replies

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  • Wow Hels,

    What an inspirational post!

    Sometimes I feel the way you do, I would love a smoke, know I won't have one but the notion is sometimes there, a lot easier to manage than before though.

    I posted yesterday about thinking I felt better as a smoker, I realise now that the Nasty Nic was just trying to weaken me.

    I too dont see much increase financially as I am spending so much on food! However I am not spending money to kill myself :)

    My heart goes out to that poor person at the gate, I only wish they could have had the strength to realise that life is so much better as a non smoker before it was too late :(

    Well done!

    Thanks again for the positive post, set me up for the day!

    Jill xxx

  • Have realised it was the addiction making me impatient, not them. What a revelation.

    Great thoughts for the day but the one above is the one that surprised me too.

    I've never been the most patient person and when i quit my wife's friends said to her that i must be a nightmare to live with now, she told them "on the contrary, he's a lot calmer and patient since quitting"

    I think you're right Helen it was the addiction making me impatient:eek:

  • 4) I have more patience, especially with my kids, because I'm not constantly thinking about my next opportunity to sneak away unknown to them and have a fag because they're driving me mad. Oddly enough, now I don't need to do that, they're NOT driving me mad (well, not nearly so often :D) Have realised it was the addiction making me impatient, not them. What a revelation.

    This^^^^^

    In fact I feel a little bad about all the times I've closed them down or brushed them off or said 'in a minute' all because I have to have a fag. It's almost like an unpublished plus about giving up smoking. A surprising side effect.

    Smokers, it turns out, are just like any other addicts - selfish.

    Thank Goodness that is not us anymore!!! :)

  • Yes, it's been the biggest surprise to me. I feel awful for the number of times I've turned on the TV because I knew that would keep them in one place while I went into the garden.

    I've always congratulated myself for never letting the kids see me with a fag in my hand and I suppose to a degree that's 'good', but I hadn't realised before how irritable my secret smoking made me, and how selfish my behaviour was. They may not have inhaled my smoke but they still paid for my addiction, poor little sods.

    Ah well, lesson learned!

  • Yes, it's been the biggest surprise to me. I feel awful for the number of times I've turned on the TV because I knew that would keep them in one place while I went into the garden.

    I've always congratulated myself for never letting the kids see me with a fag in my hand and I suppose to a degree that's 'good', but I hadn't realised before how irritable my secret smoking made me, and how selfish my behaviour was. They may not have inhaled my smoke but they still paid for my addiction, poor little sods.

    Ah well, lesson learned!

    This is my biggest lesson to. I think I will also feel it more when I go on holiday in july and I don't have to find somewhere to sneak off to when out for the day.

    A great list you have made there. 43 days is excellent. Well done you.

    Sian

  • If they even dared to open the side door to ask me a question or grass one of the others up (:D) I would shout at them to shut the door or wait a minute or just plain 'Go Away!'.

    That was my time out of the house away from them to have a fag.

    Selfish really.

    I manage them better now....because I have to. When they play up I deal with it instead of running out of the house.

    hahahaha - sounds terrible doesn't it?

  • If they even dared to open the side door to ask me a question or grass one of the others up (:D) I would shout at them to shut the door or wait a minute or just plain 'Go Away!'.

    That was my time out of the house away from them to have a fag.

    Selfish really.

    I manage them better now....because I have to. When they play up I deal with it instead of running out of the house.

    hahahaha - sounds terrible doesn't it?

    you could have been describing a day in my house. Its quite shameful really.

    I got woken up this morning by my boy SCREAMING from the kitchen, I flew out of bed and downstairs so fast I couldn't see properly (no word of a lie all I could see was fog)

    I thought an arm was missing or he had stabbed himself (recently he sussed the gate on his bedroom, was the last gate he couldn't do) got down there, he was fine, well upset but not missing any body parts and no knives protruding from anywhere. Alarm was going off on the fridge to say the door was open (should have been my first clue) but other than that all seemed ok. Well then I went in the dining room. He had made him self cereal. Tried to put the milk in from a 4 pint carton (a full one) and poured milk all over my table, floor, chairs everywhere really. Now 4 mths ago I would have gone ape then gone out for a smoke and then cleaned it up.

    This morning I just looked at him all upset, all covered in milk (something I missed when giving the once over for stab wounds or missing limbs) and got on with cleaning it up. I did tell him I was cross with him but I didn't loose it like I would off when I smoked and now, I am quite proud my 2 year old was trying to make his own breakfast :D

    Sian

  • absolutely agree with the guilt i feel towards my kids wen i smoked, myself a secret smoker from them and shouting at them so i could have a fag, i posted something about this very early in my quit because the guilt was eating me up, i can cope with the guilt better now but it is still the formost thing in my mind when i think back to smoking, but i have spent so much quality time with them now and i very rarely get angry with them, i know i cant make up for the time i lost with them and spent angry at them, but i can make it better from now on

  • you could have been describing a day in my house. Its quite shameful really.

    I got woken up this morning by my boy SCREAMING from the kitchen, I flew out of bed and downstairs so fast I couldn't see properly (no word of a lie all I could see was fog)

    I thought an arm was missing or he had stabbed himself (recently he sussed the gate on his bedroom, was the last gate he couldn't do) got down there, he was fine, well upset but not missing any body parts and no knives protruding from anywhere. Alarm was going off on the fridge to say the door was open (should have been my first clue) but other than that all seemed ok. Well then I went in the dining room. He had made him self cereal. Tried to put the milk in from a 4 pint carton (a full one) and poured milk all over my table, floor, chairs everywhere really. Now 4 mths ago I would have gone ape then gone out for a smoke and then cleaned it up.

    This morning I just looked at him all upset, all covered in milk (something I missed when giving the once over for stab wounds or missing limbs) and got on with cleaning it up. I did tell him I was cross with him but I didn't loose it like I would off when I smoked and now, I am quite proud my 2 year old was trying to make his own breakfast :D

    Sian

    HAHAHAHA that story really made me chuckle!!!!

    Hel, well done on a great thread and for realising that we don't need to smoke, the smoke needs u :)

    I can't wait to get to 40+ days, that would be a real acheivement so I hope you are really buzzing!

    Shaz x

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