today i want to smoke

minor crisis today, three months in to the day and all i want to do is smoke. not just like the passing cravings, this is the real thing, i'm all but ready to go back to the dark side. mondays are just not good days for me :(

i know smoking will kill me, i know it costs money and make me ill, and i love all the health benefits i get from being a non smoker, but i'm a nicer person when i smoke, and i can deal with life..... aaarrrggrghh :)


11 Replies

  • One half of my brain says I wanna smoke too, but the other half is stopping me. I'm only on day 22, so just into my 4th've just reached your 3month mark. There's got to be a reason you've posted on here tonight...probably for someone to tell you not to do it, as you can and will get through it.

    Don't they say on here that the 3's are crap. I can tell you not to do it, I can't say it will get easier as I haven't been there before, but I'm hoping when (if I'm strong enough) I get to 3 months , you'll be one of the ones ahead of me who tells me it does. There are many behind you who believe you can do it.

    Oh, and we all hate Mondays ;)

    Stay strong xx

  • Hey 5mol<er, hate to see you struggling.

    First of all I'm going to pick on what you said about how you're a better person when you smoke.

    1. Really? are you? Is it nice to make others breathe in smoke from your cigarette passively?

    2. Is it nice to keep people waiting/interrupt ppl mid conversation because you need to go out for a fag?

    3. Ever see how happy a heroin addict is once get gets the stuff in him? Even in a film or whatever you can tell he's happy because he's getting his fix, because he's a junkie. You know you don't want to be a junkie or else you wouldn't have quit.

    I know what you mean by wanting something to just 'make it all better' and right now I'm sure you can't see the harm in it but remember with all of your might that that cigarette will most certainly NOT make it all better. Think of all the times when you were a smoker and you were stressed, you had a cig, you felt better and got ready to tackle the problem. Only to find that it stressed you out and you needed more cigs!

    If you're having a bad day cigs won't fix it and you know that. Don't think about the money or the health. Think about exactly what was going through your mind when you decided to quit. If necessary, read old posts.

    Whatever you need to do to get you through it. It's great that you posted and I hope this helps.

    Think about those 3 months, they're amazing even if you can't see it now.

  • Hey Smoker - how are you today?? My quit has certainly not been a walk in the park and I've felt like you do many a time BUT I don't want to go through it all again - I'm not going to say I'll never smoke again but back to baby steps of one day at a time and we'll be fine.

    Hope you hung on in there

    Jane x

  • Ah, familiar that is... Want to smoke, but don't want to be a smoker. Flippin annoying dilemma. There must be something about reaching 3 months...

    Not sure if I believe you on that nicer person thingy tho. Who sayes you're nicer? You? Anyone else? And you gotta deal with life anyways, but I give it to you that as a smoker, you don't need to deal with it as long. So, go ahead, have a puff and see how nice you think you are then and how long you can keep dealing with life ;)

  • Hope you're getting through it stronger :)

    I've heard that several times from addicts (any drug) that they feel that they are nicer when they can do it. I do think that's a brain trick, see it makes you THINK you would be nicer if you smoke, so it really should be ok because you want to be a nice person. Dang that demon is smart!!

  • Yes i always think im a better person when i smoke . Why do we think this at times ???? Stress is my bug bear ,i could kill for a cig .I know the feeling will pass.Which it does .

  • Everyone thinks that but it's really quite selfish and silly... It's something smokers tell themselves so that they can smoke. The only reason why smokers seem to be better people is because whenever they don't have a cig in hand they are wanting one... and if they can't have one they get mean. What sort of person are you if you need a drug constantly in your body to keep you 'nice'??

    An addict, that's what... and we all on this site are/were!

  • thank you

    cheers ppl, very wise words from all of you and i think you have pulled me through the worst of it. i have been to the dark side but didn't smoke, i didn't like what i saw, can i come back now?!

  • Yay....well done :)


  • it's a scary place that dark side, come back here where it doesn't stink :D

    Well done 5mol<er

  • Glad you pulled through it :D xxxx Im still in there 103 days today :pxxx

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