Not been on for a while but really worried I could be about to lose my quit. I've smoked on two occasions in the last two weeks. I can't even excuse it. Alcohol was involved on both occasions but I had been doing great in the four months or so since my earlier 'blip'.
I have lost a quit like this before (granted I had only quit for 2 months) and although when sober I have no urge whatsoever I can feel the addict brain jumping for joy and trying all the usual tricks like "well maybe I can just smoke when drinking" But we all know thats a pile of poo and even when 8 years ago I managed to do just that for 8/9 weeks I was putting myself through withdrawal through the week and it felt just awful. Made me put loads of weight on and was on an emotional rollercoaster. I cannot do that to myself again.
I didn't know where to post this as I don't quite consider myself 8 months quit anymore but to be honest am not worrying so much about that as staying quit and never smoking again.
I had two last night and to be honest folks, for anyone thinking about doing it, I had black stuff coming out my nose when I blew it, my sinuses are sore, I have that really sensitive teeth feeling I had forgotten about and my hair stinks! Also I know like last week I will be fighting cravings again this week, want to eat everything in sight and it will be hard.
I have been reading this morning. Both the caring for your quit link and all my earlier posts to remind myself what I went through and why I was doing it.
Sorry for rambling on but I really need words of support/ass-kicking/advice.