quitting today. new to site

hi all im new to this website but have been reading and find it very useful and great for motivation and support. so i thought i would join up. me and my gf are both smokers and have now given up only been 20 mins lol. i will tell you more about our smoking etc.

my name is steve im 26 years old and have been smoking for 8 years. unfortunatley the last 6 years i have been a very heavy smoker at least 40 a day sometimes 60 if drinking etc. for the last 3 years i have had really bad chest pains and sometimes have problems sleeping on one side. what makes things worse in the last four years i have lost my nan and my dad of lung cancer, both heavy smokers, i was very close to my dad so this has been very hard to deal with. he was 59.. cancer runs heavy in my dads side of the family. during my dads whole ordeal his last words (literally) where to me please quit smoking and that was the last time i saw him. 2 years later and i still cant quit. i have tried a few times but only last a few hours before i go out of my mind. if im honest im a chain smoker. i know it sounds stupid that ive lost people its in my family etc and my father wanted me to quit and was his dying wish,and i still smoke but it shows what a power it has on me, my gf smokes to not as much as me but still struggles to stay quit and gets upset after a few hours of not smoking. i also feel like cigerettes are part of my life. i feel empty and bored without them etc. everything i do revolves around a fag, if i cut the lawn i have a fag, if i sleep i have a fag when i wake up, if im on the computer i have a fag it goes on and on and feel like i dont enjoy these things without a fag.

anyway i have made the decision to quit and so has my girlfriend. we will stop but i need motivation and need people who has simular experiences to mine to help motivate and keep me and my gf off fags. we do want to quit and know its the way to a better future health and finacially. can i keep people up to date on this thread? is this ok?

sorry its so long just wanted to explain everything

thanks

steve

17 Replies

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  • Hi Steve

    im newish! havent been on since march, but this time im serious about it. I feel the same ive smoked since i was 12 and im 44 years old now and im having afew health probs, so i have too stop, im hoping like u this forum will help, im sure they will.

    Good luck to u and your girlfriend

    Jules

  • Hi Steve, if it's motivation you're looking for, you've come to the right place. You and your GF need to read, read and then read some more about this addiction, the more you know, the more you'll understand and hopefully be better armed against cravings. Click on the links in peoples signatures, read peoples experiences and share your experiences. If you have a difficult moment, post on this site and make no rash decisions until you have a reply, you must promise yourself that.

    I'm not going to say it's easy, but it is one of the most satisfying things you would have ever voluntarily done in your life, it will make such a huge difference you cannot even begin to imagine.

    Don't think of the big picture, take it one day at a time, get through that day. Every time you conquer a trigger makes it easier next time. You and your GF must find things to make you laugh, and not be ashamed of crying, it's all emotion and it's far better out that in.

    Don't forget, post often, you and your GF will do this, you are doing it, so be proud of your decision.

    Lorraine :)

  • Hi

    Welcome! :)I completely 2nd what Lorraine said! I'm only on day 18 quit and it's blooming hard but I make sure whenever I get a bad craving that I come on here and read loads and think of this as one day at a time, life will continue to throw rubbish at us and we have to deal with all it throws without caving in. Non smokers can cope with life's ups and downs and we will too once we've kicked this.

    I wish you and your GF loads of luck and strength and we're all rooting for you both!

    Jane

  • Hi

    This is my first day of not smoking too. Time always seems to stand still early in a quit so I set myself little goals/activites for each hour of today - taking it hour by hour has helped.

    Coming on here for inspiration and finding that whilst everyone struggles many do win through in the end is a big help.

    Best of luck to you and your girlfriend.

  • .... i also feel like cigerettes are part of my life. i feel empty and bored without them etc. everything i do revolves around a fag, if i cut the lawn i have a fag, if i sleep i have a fag when i wake up, if im on the computer i have a fag it goes on and on and feel like i dont enjoy these things without a fag.

    Steve

    You’re far from alone.

    Most of us wore the rose-tinted smoking goggles and made cigarettes such a major part of our day to day existence that any life without them seemed unpleasant and pretty pointless.

    When I reviewed my own smoking habit some glaring facts appeared, I smoked ‘cos I was bored, hungry, alone or because it’s that time of day when I always smoked.

    My typical routine was sort of:

    Wake up, downstairs, kitchen, kettle, coffee – FAG.

    Shower, dressed, feed dogs – FAG

    Drop boy at school then drive to work – FAG

    Arrive at work, kettle, outside – FAG

    2nd coffee – FAG

    Mid morning, coffee – FAG

    Late morning, coffee – FAG

    Drive home for lunch – FAG

    Finish lunch – FAG

    Drive Back to Work – FAG

    Afternoon coffee – FAG etc etc etc

    If I sat in front of the PC in an evening I’d light one fag off the other.

    If I watched TV I’d go outside for a fag at every commercial break.

    If I was driving a distance with the family in the car I’d smoke when we stopped. If I was driving alone I’d smoke continually.

    Everyone has a different pattern but usually it’s blindingly obvious that most cigarettes are smoked because that’s when they’re always smoked or the opportunity is there to smoke them. Each of us perfects their own habit to their own style and similarly we all have to learn the way to break our own habit.

    Once I realised that I wasn’t smoking just to get nicotine my quit determination went ballistic but the after effects of years of poison in my bloodstream also needed to be dealt with.

    We quit smoking in the sub-conscious. Some need a little help to combat the after effects of the cessation of the poison we’ve willingly consumed in each and every smoke but that’s the easy bit of quitting. The hard bit is convincing yourself that you don’t want to smoke now you’ve just got off the bus for example. The brain says it’s fag time and you need to persuade it that it isn’t.

    If you remember that cravings are your brain telling you there’s a smoking opportunity here and you haven’t lit a fag, they’re not nicotine withdrawal.

    The withdrawal from nicotine is a brief low-level fever type feeling that you can wean off using patches or similar but is only an uncomfortable weekend if you don’t.

    It might seem like a mountain to climb when almost every task you undertook during the day was closely followed by a ciggie but if you can appreciate that a non-smoker has all the same stresses in life and performs the same tasks as a smoker yet successfully faces them without the crutch then you’re already lacing up your climbing boots and putting on your helmet.

    If you can see that the only stress a fag actually relieves is the stress of wanting a fag then you’ve one hand firmly on the rope.

    Once it clicks that non-smokers have just as much fun out on the razz as smokers do but they don’t stink you’re off and climbing.

    So many of us reached the summit and then realised it was more of a casual stroll with the dog than a mountain climb and we arrived looking comically overdressed.. ;)

    You're more than welcome to keep us posted and up to date.

  • Hi Steve

    That sounds very much like I was 4 years ago before I gave up for the first time (I quit for 2 years then, like a fool, when stress struck, I stuck another fag in my mouth!!)

    I realised 4 years ago that being a smoker was a huge part of my identity.... after smoking heavily for 25 years I no longer knew who I was. I was a smoker like my dad... who died suddenly from a heart attack at 68! He had never managed to give up and I think that part of me believed that if my dad couldn't do it then I wouldn't be able to either. I was a smoker like all those others who congregated together to smoke. I was a smoker like all those who defended their habits to each other and fought for their right to be a smoker in a world turning more and more anti. My life was lived around my cigarettes. I didn't go to the cinema because I couldn't smoke. I only visited places which would let me smoke. A cigarette signalled the different parts of my day. I finished a job. The end was marked by a cigarette...as was the start! It was who I was. A smoker!

    Giving up and being a person outside of that familiar identity I found very scary. It wasn't merely as simple as smoking/not smoking.

    I had been smoking again for 2 years and am now on day 4 of my quit but the thing that I have noticed this time which is making it so much easier for me is that I shed the identity of smoker 4 years ago. This time I'm just stopping smoking.

    Stick with it. Nobody here is going to tell you that it's easy. It's not! But there is life without cigarettes and it's one where you have so much more energy, you can run without wheezing, your skin glows, you smell great and you have a new found self respect! (chances are you're going to live a hell of a lot longer too.... bonus!!)

    Good luck... :)

  • Hi Steve,

    i was the same as you- couldnt imagine my life and daily routine without a ciggie!

    BUT honestly, now i have so much extra time as i dont have to roll a fag and smoke it, and i am starting not to miss it at all!

    When a crave hits you, come on here, read through all the links in peoples signatures, education about nicotine is KEY (i believe) to quitting!

    Good luck!

  • hi all many thanks for the motivation and great advice from all of you. just thought id update and i have taken your words on board. unfortunatley i will be honest its 5 hours later and i have had 2 puffs on a fag. not a whole one. which still isnt bad as i would have had at least 10 fags in the same time. i am determined not to have anymore . i am back on reading now. feel a bit let down that i even had a puff!:(

  • Hi Steve & gf.

    Nice post by Austin there! don't know quite what to say now. I guess all i can add really is that smoking is like a mental obsession that needs treating to make it go away. The obsession does go away & life IS still fun. i went cold turkey & had a rough weekend, i was a heavy smoker, one after the other all the time & i did wonder what i'll do with myself when i'm a 'non smoker' well life is just the same actually it's better and i don't iss it at all, yuk...never want to go back to that nor do i want to go through cold turkey again. Stay strong and yeh keep posting on here.

    Good luck.

  • Welcome to the Forum, Steve.

    Reading this thread there is a shed load of great information and the understanding of why we smoke, what's happening to us as we go through a quit etc is vital to getting a successful quit started, going and completed.

    If you don't mind me saying I think possibly you aren't quite prepared to embark on this incredible journey back to great health. Have you actually thought about what method you shall use to get through the initial days? Will it be Cold Turkey, patches, e-cig, champix, reading Allen Carrs, Easy way to stop smoking?

    All of these are great methods are perfectly valid and eventually all of them encompass Cold Turkey...because that's where we are headed...life without cigs and the props that got us through the early days.

    if you are comfortable about this I'd suggest that you should read Allen Carr's Easy Way solely because that you are a self-confessed heavy smoker and possibly will benefit from the early understanding of the brain-washing that smoking gives us. Google him up and have a wee look around his site, see if you can borrow, buy or exchange the book and give it go.

    I certainly wouldn't wish that you put too much early stress on yourself...and in some ways you are possibly doing that with the few wee puffs that you've already had.

    Whatever, this forum will support you, will give you great advice, will welcome you joining the fold and adding to the vibrancy.

    Keep on keeping on,

    Cav

  • .... i am back on reading now. feel a bit let down that i even had a puff!:(

    Don't beat yourself up about it.

    Remember that there's no prize attached to quitting other than the rest of you life smoke-free. At the moment that probably sounds really scary whereas it's actually one of the best things I ever did.

    You can set your own goals but no-one's going to give you a fat cheque after 12 months or a new Hyundai so whether you sneak in the odd fag or not doesn't lose you any points.

    It's easy for me to say but I think preparation is the key to an easy quit but not the preparation that the NHS suggest, set a date, quit when you're unstressed, tell your friends etc etc

    Prepare by finding and knowing your enemy (it's not what you've been lead to believe)

    Understand what will happen to your body if you stop smoking, what your brain will do when it needs its dopamine and how to feed it without smoking.

    Read widely and appreciate what you're going to experience when you stop. You can still smoke while you're doing all this if you wish but at some point, fingers crossed, you'll find the nugget of information that works for you and you'll not wish to smoke any more.

    From that point onwards the healing process and a much more pleasant experience starts.

    Your other option, to stop smoking while still wanting to smoke, is still available of course but it sounds like a real battle.

    Remember all those years when stomach ulcers were caused by stress?

    Think of the years of unsuccessful medication, operations and diet changes that people endured for no real cure.

    Then those Australians came along having discovered that they were actually caused by bacteria and here's a cure that was there all the time but it flew in the face of established and proven knowledge.

    The similarities to smoking are staggering... ;)

  • How you doing today? Did you make it through to this morning.

    I was in the same place last week. I am on day 9 and it feels so good when you hit that 1 week point you will feel so proud of yourself. Like a few others said so what you had a few puffs but you know that you didnt really want it deep down. Are you both doing cold turkey?

    Keep up the reading and you will be days into it before you know it

  • Hi there

    Giving up smoking will be the best thing you do for yourself. I only wish I had quit at 26. And I am over the moon that I don't smoke at 37.

    Promise me you will do this if you haven't already:

    Buy Allen Car's 'EASYWAY' book...Cheaper than a packet of fags on amazon. In fact buy two as you and your girlfriend can read it together...It's not a book for sharing.

    Also Max Kirstens 'Stop Smoking' hypnotherapy available on an App for the iphone or CD via internet.

    Double that up with Andrew Johnson's 'Success' hypnotherapy, again available on app or CD. Great for getting off to sleep at night.

    I used this cocktail and it has been nothing but an absolute joy to escape the nicotine trap. I'm on week 8 of freedom and I have my life back. No cravings, no depression, no fear...GREAT!!!

    If you are still smoking...When you get chance sit down with your girlfriend smoke a fag...put it out and then smoke another fag...After that write down all the things that you enjoyed about that cigarette and compare notes.

    You need to reverse the years of brain washing to realise that fags are a big con.

    If I'd quit at 26 i would have saved about £30,000...AAAAAAHHHHHH!

    go get your life back!

  • hi all just an update and a thankyou for all your comments etc. i will try and get the book as suggested. i have had 2 cigerettes today. i know its not great but a huge improvement as i would of had 30+ today by this time. i feel dizzy quite a lot and when i have a fag it spins me out.im going cold turkey as have tried everything in the past and nothing worked for me , it was all just a waste of money, and to some of the other comments i have read all there is to know about smoking etc, ive spent days over the last years reading about smoking, additcion, habit, mental state, pros to quitting,health, money, quit stories for inspiration all of it. and i still cave in and have one. i just find it so so hard. but as i say ive only had 2 which for me is a huge thing

    thanks all for the comments

  • I'm on day 14 and I just got the book yesterday. I read it cover to cover, couldn't put it down!!!!! It will insantly help with the fear and embarressment tha goes along with quitting. You may not agree with everything in the book but you will definately look at smoking differently!!! I've tried quitting over a dozen times but this quit has been the easiest. The reason? I have been reading everthing thing I can to educate myself about smoking and quitting. Also this forum is priceless. Anytime you need to let it out don't yell and your boss, spouse,child,friend come here and vent we all know how your feeling!!!

  • Hey Steve,

    Good that you are thinking about trying the Easy Way book. It will stand you in could stead all the other reading you have done concerning nicotine addiction.

    At present you're at a theoretical position regarding stopping despite your huge reduction...it's still smoking. A big step for you is to now figure out whether you 'do' stop or 'don't' smoke anymore. ' Do' you stop smoking and not have anymore, not even the cheeky puff or two here and there. Or is it that you'don't' smoke anymore and you don't put any in your mouth and light them. Your choice but there is no two ways about it...it's not smoking.

    Cav

  • sites.google.com/site/neruk...

    Hi Steve, I downloaded the book this morning. Have posted the link above.

    Gaynor

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