I'm back AGAIN!!

Hi all,

some of you may remember me as i have been on the forum several times before. Everyone was really supportive, but, due to my inherent weakness of will, every quit has ended with just one fag. Even while smoking the first fag, I know it's curtains for the quit and am already planning my new quit date. But loving the smokes in between. Selfish addict behaviour. the only thing that really deters me is the smell of hospitals. Maybe this should be a new quitting method, a perfume that is identical to that antiseptic whiff you get every time you go into a hospital. But I just imagine it and it is good enough.

Anyway, have quit again, using the patches. Day 3 and so far, so good. Feel stronger this time as I know every pitfall in the book. I now have to face the inevitable truth , that it is MY choice to smoke or not to smoke. I can't keep blaming Chardonnay or stress for my failed attempts. I also have realised ther is no "right" time to quit for a diehard like me. It has to be now, or tomorrow may never come.Melodramatic, I know, but I have to be a drama queen to summon up the willpower required. Already dreading the weekend and am going out tonight. well, it's up to me. My life as I wish to live it, or the fags ruling the roost.

Good luck to all the new and old quitters. We are stronger than a flimsy bit of paper with some funny flakes inside.

xox

5 Replies

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  • So glad to see you back on line and I am pleased you have quit for good this time, I must admit that cornflakes have always been a no no for me and I have never tried to smoke them :eek:

    As you say this time you know all the pitfalls so I hope it will be less of a problem for you, as for the smell of hospitals I too hate it so when you get to the point of smoking nip down the local Hosp and take deep breaths, welcome back x

  • Hi Rachel

    I remember you! Good to see you back. Choosing to quit is a good way to go. Its your choice every hour and day. Choosing takes the pressure off, but also gives you the responsibility. Shan't spend time telling you all the reading stuff, you know the drill! I'd suggest working on tricks to keep the quit, once its underway.

    Look forward to seeing you on here!

    Fi x

  • hi rachel, i'm inherently weak willed when it comes to smoking too, i think the word weak creeps in to every post i make on these forums! let's both prove that the weak are moving on up! see you in day four :)

    5mol<er

  • Thanks, still here!

    Hey, Jamangie! Long time no speak. Thanks for the encouragement. So glad you are still here, it gives me hope that, one day, I, too can be an example to be looked up to! Your support really helps, cos I know this isn't easy (hence my successive failures). I am trying this time to dig a bit deeper, and not give in at the usual triggers. I actually didn't go out tonight, left my BF to it as I didn't want to risk it (he is still smoking and holds out little hope for me - I don't blame him!). In fact, my BF suggested I just cut down. But I am an "all or nothing sort of person", so I am too addicted to be a social smoker or a "2 a night" kind of girl (fags I mean!). So all or nothing. Tonight, Matthew, I choose , nothing!!! (showing my age!)

    Thanks also to Fi, well done on your quit. Hats off. And also to smoker^ Sorry I couldnt understand your name to remember it, but it looks good. Anyway, you sound just like me, so, if we two runts can swim to the other side of the lake, won't it be sweet? So, keep going!!!

    Onto day 4. With a smile on my face! (And a tear in my eye)

    xox

  • Rachel you can and will do this. Its good that a hospital is a deterant to you and maybe spending a couple hours this weekend visiting cancer patients at a local hospital would do you some good. I don't know if they have health warnings on cigarets in England as they do here in the US but the warnings are for real. I know a 42 year old with a wife and 3 kids that has cancer and it is the worst thing I have seen other than watching bolth of my grand fathers die from cancer. For this 42 year old that I know it is to late to be cured. Just last week they replaced a section of his leg bone so he can walk. I'm not looking to scare you but if hospitals scare you I think you should visit one. It will also put a smile on the other persons face to have company. A lot of cancer patients are elderly and don't have family around. Ok I'm done now and I wish you the best of luck I know you can beat this

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