Misery!

Hi all, just dropped by to spread the joy. I am finding day 11 extremely difficult. I have my mother in law staying and am now faced with the uncomfortable choice that either I murder her or I have a fag. I don't really want to do either but I am cracking slowly but surely. I am taking it one day at a time and feel pleased when I go to bed and think "I didn't smoke today and now the easy bit, sleeping" Its the being awake bit which is beginning to be unbearable. Any suggestions would be gratefully recieved.

xox

9 Replies

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  • Hi Rachel.

    You would still want to murder her if you were smoking, let's be honest!!! Just think how fantastic you will feel to have got through spending time with her and NOT smoking - that really will be such a fantastic achievement.

    My hubby makes me want to smoke all the time - he's really not supportive of anything I do, just critical about everything and if I can cope with him and his family in my face all the time I can cope with anything.

    Sit outside for 10 minutes with a book/magazine and breathe deep my love.

    Fingers x'd for you.

  • Ok I vote for the Murder her but in a humane way, I know its still illegal but at least you can tell the court she didnt suffer.

    Best way to deal with MIL is to say yes to everything they say never disagree and the other way is to give them something to do and make out its something your rubbish at ie making pastry anything it make them fee supperior and needed, other than put coat on and walk with her fast so she cant get her breath and she cant talk to u, good luck and have fun as for the quit thats easy compared to MIL.

  • Rachel, sorry to hear your having a rough time. I have to say I love my MIL but my FIL drives me mad!

    I am with Jam on the murder thing go for it, no one here will blame you :eek:

    Ok maybe not, does she smoke? I presume she knows you are quitting? Maybe you could try and tell her that you are finding it really quite hard at the moment and would she mind if you popped out and then you disappear for ages-a walk in the park-shopping-visit salon, whatever!

    How long is she staying? maybe you could reward yourself for everyday you get through with her there?

    Don't if any of that will help, but you do know that smoking will not help, and you do know that we are all here to help all we can, chin up.

    Sending you a great big hug and a truck load of PMA.

  • thanks

    Hi, thanks for the support in my moment of need. I have survived the MIL and not smoked!! However, she has not left yet so blood may well be spilt yet. Actually she is a lovely person but prattles on a bit and shuffles about and generally gets on my nerves. She is Italian and dotes on my BF naturally and he on her , although he too gets exasperated with her. So basically its a case of cutting my tongue out for the duration. No one comes between the mamma and son, and woe betide she who dares. It is quite sweet really, but the bf is out all day and I am left with her, so he only gets a snapshot. I get the whole picture. Its just that when you are trying to quit smoking any irritation is multiplied by 10. So I am not blaming her. It is just stressful not knowing whether she wants you to do the housework or leave it to her etc.She is pleased I have quit as it is a good example to her son, but she has never smoked, doesn't drink, etc so can't understand what I am going thru at all. Culture clash completely which is nice in a way but at times I wish I was at home surrounded by kindred spirits who live a bit on the edge.

    This healthy living ain't half bad for the heart!!

    Anyway, thanks for the comments. They kept me going. A life has been saved and my quit is intact. yeeha!

    all the best

    xox

  • Culture clash completely which is nice in a way but at times I wish I was at home surrounded by kindred spirits who live a bit on the edge.

    This healthy living ain't half bad for the heart!!

    If I had a pound for every time I've heard that...well, I'd have a few quid. It is strange how stopping smoking implies that we are ultimately conforming...when we've spent so many years bucking that. Ah well, stuff it...leave the top off the toothpast tube tomorrow morning, be a maverick *sigh*

    Anyway, Rachel...another day successfully completed and one with particular stresses that you've managed to overcome. All good experience to add to it all :)

  • FAITH, FAITH AND MORE FAITH. ;)

    what do you expect? she is your mother in law, she is going to wind you up. Just accept it, when people get too much for me usually because i don't like them or the way they are acting, no way will i abuse myself over them. Nah....never.

    Always take the higher road. Tis much better honest. :)

  • Hi,

    Hope you're finding today easier? Not quite the same but I've had a few arguments with my OH this week (I'm a bit, er, irritable, and she's a *bit* stressed at work) and usually to calm down I go and smoke in the garden. Of course, can't do that anymore. But have found that just going and sitting outside for 5 mins has the same effect (and oddly, it hasn't felt "wrong" not smoking). Maybe you could sneak out for a couple mins every now and then for a bit of peace and quiet?

    We also have a very poorly house rabbit, went to the vets on Mon eve (day 8) and the prognosis isn't very good. it might seem daft to some people, and I'll come across as a bit soft, but we've had her 8yrs, she's part of the family and it's all very upsetting. Of course, what would I normally do? Have a fag! But managed to get through that by thinking "would it make her better" of course it wouldn't, therefore ciggy averted, and quit continuing ...

    Dunno if this is helpful! Just wanted to say hang in there really! We're nearly at the end of week 2 ... roll on week 3 :D

  • hi

    Hi all,

    thanks for your continued support. I am nearing the end of the MIL's visit. Pretty stressed and proud that I did not smoke. Becca, I am sorry to hear your hubbie is not supportive of you. That must be tough. Remember you are doing this for you and you should ignore the negative vibes and continue doing such a positive thing for yourself. I am sure your hubbie will respect you for being strong and probably feel guilty that he did nowt to help.

    Cavalier, I really liked your response and you picked up so well on the "junkie thinking" of my comment about living on the edge. Ultimately it is just an excuse to smoke and it does not make me more interesting or daring. I knew when I wrote it that it was just my willpower slipping away as per, so thanks for pointing it out. I usually leave the cap off the tooth-paste anyway, so i will have to come up with some other form of rebellion. Yes, I know. I REFUSE to smoke. That 'll do for now.

    Thanks to you all, all the best and stay strong

    xox

  • Forgot to say

    Hi Clarkey,

    forgot to say, sorry about your rabbit. It is not silly to be upset about it, pets are part of the family. We become very attached to them, no shame in that. My cat died last year (wee man) and he was a fine character. He was 20 years old! I still miss him. So I hope all goes well. But keep going with the quit! It wont change anything if you smoke.

    xox

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