oops a daisy

I have messed up big time - 2 fags today:mad:

I FEEL AWFUL!! I was really struggling have been for the past couple of weeks but it seems to have got worse not better, and then today I just thought SOD THIS, and went out and bought 10 and have smoked 2.

They have made me feel really sick and given me a headache, and rather than make me feel better I now just feel super guilty that I've been so stupid:(

I'm not making excuses but have been having a bit of a rough time recently and I just couldn't take the constant nagging miserable feeling anymore. I really thought having a fag would take it all away - how ridiculous is that?

I can't believe at 3 months I would still feel so bad - maybe coming of the NRT has triggered this, or maybe it is the 'terrible 3's'

Now, where do I go from here?? I think maybe I should go back on the step 3 patches for a couple of weeks and ride this out, or should I just forget it, go CT and see how I get on?

It's funny, my mum, my friend's mum and another friend's husband all gave up in the last 4-5 months using Champix and none of them have felt like this, it has honestly been a breeze for all of them. I don't know whether to go bank to my smoking clinic and ask for Champix, but as I am currently on anti-dep's I don't know if I can take it........

Oh - I'm just really p&^%%d off with myself now:mad:

12 Replies

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  • I have messed up big time - 2 fags today:mad:

    I FEEL AWFUL!! I was really struggling have been for the past couple of weeks but it seems to have got worse not better, and then today I just thought SOD THIS, and went out and bought 10 and have smoked 2.

    They have made me feel really sick and given me a headache, and rather than make me feel better I now just feel super guilty that I've been so stupid:(

    I'm not making excuses but have been having a bit of a rough time recently and I just couldn't take the constant nagging miserable feeling anymore. I really thought having a fag would take it all away - how ridiculous is that?

    I can't believe at 3 months I would still feel so bad - maybe coming of the NRT has triggered this, or maybe it is the 'terrible 3's'

    Now, where do I go from here?? I think maybe I should go back on the step 3 patches for a couple of weeks and ride this out, or should I just forget it, go CT and see how I get on?

    It's funny, my mum, my friend's mum and another friend's husband all gave up in the last 4-5 months using Champix and none of them have felt like this, it has honestly been a breeze for all of them. I don't know whether to go bank to my smoking clinic and ask for Champix, but as I am currently on anti-dep's I don't know if I can take it........

    Oh - I'm just really p&^%%d off with myself now:mad:

    Hiya

    Don't be mad Vicstar pick yourself up and if you think an alternative solution is better then give it a go can only help ......

    negatives ..... two smokes

    posistives you have eight too throw away, you still want to give up, you have owned up and been honest with yourself,

    More Negatives you owe me 30 sit ups 30 press ups and 30 burpees when your'e ready begin

    Vicstar lots of people sail through their quit and lots struggle ...it's a blip throw them things away now ......................

    by the way now you had them cigs has the stress gone ???? didn't think so ................................

    Finger out you can do this :)

  • Vicstar,

    I really feel for you. I can’t comment as well as some of the others will be able to as I am only on day 10, not reached your level yet but I can say that you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself-I really admire people who are in the "months" stages. Yes you have smoked 2 but if you turn it around, its only 2 cigarettes in 3 months and that’s some achievement!! We all know how difficult it is to stop and to stay stopped and also how easy it is to have a blip.

    Have a think about it, take some deep breaths, see exactly how you feel, and decide whether you need a little more help with NRT or if you can go it alone. Either way you are still trying arent you. When you have decided pick yourself back up and continue with your quit- don't feel defeated because you are still winning!! You will be ok, we are all here if you need us. xxx

    PS- throw the cigs in the bin :)

  • Well I cant condone what you have done but moaning at you want help either so what can I say other than you plonker rodney, ok so its Vic but why didnt you come and rant on here so we could help you, have you thrown the others away or have you still got it in the back of your mind that you will smoke those as well????

    Come on get a grip and realise that they want help you, and they want make you feel good about yourself either and nothing else either.

    No matter what you do you dont want to set the triggers off again or you will have to go back to day one and I would think every day one gets worse, go on chuck them in the bin and continue on and try to put it behind you, smoke another and you will be on the slippery slope to smoking again.

    So whats it to be??????

    I dont want you to smoke and at this rate you will get in the penthouse as a pensioner :) smile and move to the next level you dont need them at all xxx

  • hey vicstar

    Dont worry ...just get all them extra fags & crunch urm up in a bag ..wet erm & put them in the bin outside.........Then get urself back on your quit here with us .............Oh & wait an hour from ure last fag & stick a patch on if it helps :)

    Well done for coming here with this post. ..Proud of you ..for 2 reasons ..firstly wanting & thinking of a way to get back on your quit

    & secondly realising smoking wasnt for you anymore

    For me you already know the answer ..............Get back on ure quit mrs....or I wont share my sweets wiv u at playtime anymore ;)

    xxxxxxxxx keep fighting the good fight vic

  • thank u all, I really appreciate your responses and the fact that you are all so non judgemental, it means a lot

    They are in the bin, the kids dinner has gone on top of them (b&h silver and pasta sauce anyone??:D) and I'm gonna stick a patch on in a mo:)

    Thanks for listening - next time I'll come on here before I throw £3.10 down the drain

    x

  • Could have been worse Vic could have been £6.20 and that would have made a mess of the pasta sauce, and any way why did that end up in the bin ???? could feed the starving millions :D, glad to see or hear or read you are feeling better and have ditched the smokies take care and use the forum in future instead xx

  • THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO ALL OF US.

    Well done for not finishing the pack :cool::cool:

    hope tomorrow is so much better for you. it will be -you won that battle -and posted and put them in the bin .

    Awful truth is Vicstar - I remember once rummaging in bin for a dog end. who was that mad woman:eek: not proud of that memory -but It is best I remember the depths I plummeted to eh?

    hope you ok .xx

  • Vicstar,

    I was gutted reading your post, it was only yesterday you were on my terrible 3's thread telling me of your feelings like mine and how your friend got through it, all stories like that give us strength!

    I'm cheesed I didn't reply to you sooner, we could have drawn from each others misery and maybe avoided the 2 fag blip, but hey ho it is done now and I think you have put it to bed!

    I assure you this is the next phase of the quit, it must be, maybe one of the last major hurdles before it becomes more comfortable! I say that with absolute hope coz I dont want to feel like this much longer either, only difference is I'd rather chop my bleedin fingers off than give in to this addiction! I know once a cigarette enters my lips it is GAME OVER! I wouldnt have the strength to pull it back!

    I am very lucky in that I would have to drive nearly 4 miles to find an establishment that sold cigarettes and my car is on its last legs so I could not spontaneaously grab a pack and spark up otherwise it could be a different story, Vicstar people around us have probably expected us to fail by now, certainly on my part, so the best thing we can do is pick ourselves up and get back on the road to freedom and recovery...............I always read the 1 year + posts and take strenght from ones which say "I dont really think about smoking anymore"............we will get there Im sure........

    Stay strong, Shelly xx

  • thank u all, I really appreciate your responses and the fact that you are all so non judgemental, it means a lot

    They are in the bin, the kids dinner has gone on top of them (b&h silver and pasta sauce anyone??:D) and I'm gonna stick a patch on in a mo:)

    Thanks for listening - next time I'll come on here before I throw £3.10 down the drain

    x

    Glad they are in the bin! Good job getting right back to your quit. Not sure if anyone mentioned the terrible 3s to you yet..... seems many of us struggle around day 3, week 3, and month 3.... don't feel like you are too different just because your mom and friends didn't struggle.... most of us do struggle. In a way it's a good thing..... for us who had a real hard time of it are too scared to start smoking again as the thought of having to quit again terrifies us.

    Stick with your quit this time, no more blips..... in a few months from now you'll have days when you don't think of them at all and you'll see how well worth any hardship was!

  • Ok you've had 2 smokes there, not the end of the world.. and from what i can see not the end of your quit either.. you've seen that a smoke is not going to change a single thing.. the second one i am betting was smoked not because you enjoyed the first one, but because you didn't get what you expected to get from the first one.. and then the second one didn't deliver either.

    USE THIS.

    You now know that smoking doesn't enhance life.. it doesn't make you think clearer, it definitely doesn't help you concentrate.. it just drags you down and makes every attempt to keep you there believing the lies that millions of people caught in the nicotine trap believe every day.

    You are making a bid for freedom here though, so what is very important here now Vicstar is that you don't just say 'sod it, its over', but instead embrace your quit now, learn from this mistake.. and know that if you ever get that 'urge' again, that the urge itself, and the promises you think it holds are all false.

    Believe in your power to succeed, you CAN do this, you WILL do this, and you ARE doing this.

  • Good Morning Vic

    I hope this day finds you feeling more positive and without the urge to puff :D it’s a beautiful day and it is the first day of the rest of your life, so go forward and let the yesterdays become but memories, and the tomorrow’s become smoke free, remember also to use the forum as your support as none of us can do this completely alone, take care and have a great weekend xx

  • Hi Vic ......dont beat yourself up over it ....at the moment it is JUST a blip . You cant afford anymore though as too many blips constitutes starting smoking again .

    I personally would stick with the patches ( stage 3 ) for a little bit longer and when you feel confident give it another go without one and if you then find that you still "need" a fag ( which really you dont btw ) put on another patch.

    Nicotine patches dont kill ......................cigarettes do .

    Good luck , you can do it :D

    Regards Trev.

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