Week 3 and back from the depths

Hi all

I posted here back in 2007 when I stopped smoking using Champix. Unfortunately, the longer I took Champix, the faster and harder I spiralled into anxiety and depression - which, I can assure you, was very little to do with 'the depression associated with stopping smoking'. Whilst I appreciate that the drug works wonders for many people, I'm one of the unlucky ones that had severe side effects - ones, which if I'm honest, almost cost me my life. The anxiety and depression were crippling and not something I had EVER experienced.

Enough of that though......

As a result of my little champix rollercoaster, I started smoking again in 2008. I stopped again in 2009, using patches. All well and good until one month into my quit, my mother dropped dead at the age of 62. I stupidly made a conscious decision to have a fag and lo and behold, another 11 months of addiction followed.

I am now in week 3 (18 days to be precise) of my final quit. Read Allen Carr, pondered, read some other stuff and stubbed my last cigarette out on 22nd March. No brain altering chemicals, no patches, nothing. The coldest of cold turkeys. I've been a 20 (or more) a day smoker for 25 years and have found this quit stupidly simple. Sure there have been moments of "Ooh, I want a fag" but it's been a fleeting thought not a 'craving'. On day 14, I was clearing out my car and found a packet with about 15 cigs in it. I looked at it for a few moments and did think "Well, I *could* just smoke these..." for about 10 seconds. Realising that that would put me back to addiction central, I threw the packet to my 12 year old son and said "Bin them". He beamed at me, I beamed at him and all was well in my world.

I know this has to be my final quit. I will never take another puff of a cigarette - I can't, as it will trigger my addiction yet again. I'm 40 this year and the thought of being a 40 year old smoker makes me sick. So I won't be - it's that simple!

Two weeks, four days, 14 minutes and 11 seconds. 360 cigarettes not smoked, saving £91.49. Life saved: 1 day, 6 hours, 0 minutes.

4 Replies

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  • Hi Inderellie,

    I am sorry to hear you had such problems with champix & the sad news about your mum.

    This quit certainly sounds like it is YOUR quit this time :D

    I wish you all the best & keep us posted on your progress;)

    Gaynor

  • Hi, sorry you've had such a rubbish time, and great respect to you for pulling yourself back from the edge. Its great to see you've made the decision to quit again, you sound truly positive and in the right place mentally. Well done you :)

  • Hi Inderellie

    Welcome back, Geez now thats a tough couple of years glad you made it through and you are where you are now in your life. so here you go again this time though you know you will do it, with that amount of positivity and experiences you have had you will breeze through it. So best wishes looking forward to your posts and advise as you take your steps forward to freedom :)

  • Thanks guys and gals (or gals?)

    This quit is the easiest by far. Don't get me wrong, I truly miss a cig from time to time, but missing it is ALL it is. It's not a craving, it's merely a "Aww, I miss you old faithful friend who would surely kill me" lol. I have spent my entire adult life as a smoker - being a non-smoker is an alien concept and I have NO CLUE whatsoever what it's like! That's weird, for starters! I have no rememberance of what it's like NOT to smoke. And now I'm a non-smoker. Weird as hell!

    I was on a night out tonight and for the first time I thought, as I spied the only two smokers in the group outside looking like complete plonkers standing on the street having a cig, "Thank goodness I don't do that anymore!".

    How cool is that?!!

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