I went to see my folks and siblings, partners, kids etc at the weekend. There isn’t loads of smokers left but a few, and once the drink starts flowing a few more, then after midnight a few more, and by 3 am most of them!
It was OK for me quit wise, I didn’t really crave, but it was very weird: Everyone kept disappearing, one minute loads of chatting, the next minute just a few of us, they were going out for fags but not announcing such for my benefit- which is very kind, but it was odd. I felt a bit left out- not of the fags, but the conversations, I tried to join them once or twice but my Mum sent me back indoors, she said it wasn’t “a good idea” for me to be with the smokers- that really hacked me off, I know I’m not out of the woods but I’m quit, I’m a good 7 or 8 weeks in, I know what situations I can and can’t manage. I wanted to say “I’ll decide what is and isn’t a safe place for me and if you quit then you can decide what is and isn’t a safe place for you”, I didn’t as she was only trying to help. So, I didn’t miss smoking at all (they stunk when they came back in) but I missed my chats with my mum and Sis and Bro’s partner in a place with no kiddies interrupting every 3 seconds. On the other hand I had some great chats with my Dad, step dad and Sister’s fella. It’s just another wee adjustment of course, that will feel normal in time, but without the structure of a “fag break” I missed my Mum a lot, felt like I hardly saw her or caught up with her at all
Pols xxx
