day 4 goood for me, nasty for my boyfriend {long post}

ok so here I am on day 4! woop woop im still doing fairly well, still using my patches which I hope to reduce soon, anyway my boyfriend gave up the same time as me, except he is too proud to accept help, he has gone cold turkey and by god do I no it!

yesterday both day 3, he started getting very argumentative, wont go in to lots of details but it ended with us bnoth saying right im havin g a fag {we didnt thouigh} also him telling me he didnt love me any more and wanted to split after 3 yrs!!! he has been doing so well that I didnt even think it could be those bad nicodemons attacking!!! there was lots of upset, then about half hour later it had calmed, he wont speak to me about the smoking, we are still not very open with each other to b e honest, he is younger than me and in some ways still very immature

Anyways half hour later he calmed down, we decided to sort it out, last night in bed I finally got it out of him that he was with drawing big time, and he couldnt handle it, finally admitted that on the end of day 2 it started and it was really bad! I havent seen him like that before so no it must be bad!

I feel so bad as here I am having not such a bad time, sail,ing through so far and him sat there in agony, he were describing stuff to me, and I remembered this thread and it were the same feelings thast others have had here, I am trying to reassure him that it WILL get better and it just feels bad right now, and not to give up, he wont come to anything like this but I feel he is on the edge of giving up and have a cig, he wont take patches gum and=ything, what can I do? he dont like talking about it so I cant keep bringing it up to try reassure him so not sure what to do, I really want him to quit as he was dead set to do it in the first place, but having such bad cravings is making him weaken and want to give up

Any advice? when are the cravings meant to peak at? I know everyones quit is differant but medically/scientifically what day are the said to peak going cold turkey?

thanks everyone, this place is helpning me so much right now, and him, without him knowingf it hehe

8 Replies

  • i am on day 4 too,going c/t.

    i found the evening of day 2 so very very bad.apparantly the cravings peak on day 3.

    today i woke up and immediatly wanted a cigarette,this hasnt happened before.grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.infact i would say the cravings today are worse than yesterday.

  • Hi, glad you're going well, sorry your boyfriend is having a rough time. My husband stopped the same time as me, and whilst i'm quite open, happy to talk about how i'm feeling, to chat on here etc. he isn't. Some people, not just fellas, find it difficult to express how they are feeling, see it as a sign of weakness perhaps to admit that they might be struggling with something. Be gentle with him, you might have to bite your lip sometimes and just walk away. It won't last very long, there will always be the odd trigger to start something off but the times will get less and less.

    Remember that you are able to vent your feelings to other people, friends, here etc. and talking really does help, even if its killing a bit of time during a crave. He's keeping it all inside him, must be hard.

    Keep strong, and stay calm (as calm as you can without driving yourself mad!).

    Lorraine :)

  • I don't usually like telling others how I feel, but you can't beat this without some support from somewhere.

    I've gone CT and I suppose my worst days so far were 5&6 (now on day 13). Scientifically the Nicotine is gone within 72 hours when going CT.

    If he can make it through the next day or so he will gradually start to find it easier to resist the urge, take control and laugh in the face of those nasty cravings.

    He can do it!;)

  • Keep going Kate

    I got a mood swing last night as the monsters came calling...I stomped around a bit, huffed and puffed but after about 20 minutes it passed...I think causing an argument creates an excuse to need a fag...It's the little monster

    We just have to remember the reason we are giving up is to get rid of the control cigerettes have on our lives...Addiction can make us do crazy things...Even breaking up with loved ones so we can have that filthy smoke and then crawl back

    Nature of the beast...I'm cold turkey and day 7 hasn't been too bad

    Keep going Kate we have to be free


  • I got a mood swing last night as the monsters came calling...I stomped around a bit, huffed and puffed but after about 20 minutes it passed...I think causing an argument creates an excuse to need a fag...It's the little monster

    You are dead right in most cases with a couple or even a bunch of friends a person who is trying to stop smoking will creat an argument so they can say right that's it I'm having a fag. Then later they can say if I wasn't arguing I would not have had one.

    The other thing is, is he stopping for himself or for you. If it's the later he will not smoke.


  • he is doing for himself, i think i spurred him on with the actual quitting, he was ready to give up just waiting on me kinda thing lol

    well he is getting a bit better, still a moody ass but not so bad!

    thanks everyone for your kind words, will keep updating as time goes on, by the way both nearly day 7 no cigs at all :)

  • Me and my hubby are on day 9 using patches.

    Were doing great a couple of wee niggles but nothing to speak of, until Saturday.

    His patch came of said he didn't need to put another one on and with in 2 hours was telling me that I was crabit and he was going to buy 10 fags.

    After a rant from me about wasting all our efforts he didn't buy any but we had a very tense Saturday night, all ok by Sunday and so far so good.

    Regardless of what he does you hang on in there.


  • Kate, hope this all works out ok for you both. Just remember that although you are both quitting at the same time, you have your quit and he has his - they are bound to be different as everyone goes through different things.

    Have you mentioned this forum at all? Might be worth subtly pointing him our way! ;)

    Lottie x

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