Is it Oooooonly day 3

Gosh is it only day 3??!!

Well slept a bit better last night probably due to the alcohol I drank but still vivid dreams, so I am going to go patchless tonight to see if that helps. Did really really crave once I was lying in bed waiting for sleep to take hold.

Unfortunately, me and OH had massive row last night. We had gone out for a meal with the whole of family due a birthday and I was so snappy all night and yes loud with it I think he finally had enough. Apparently I am thinking about it way too much and thats my problem, I am also being negative thinking I am going to fail. So big arugment in car going home although it was in hushed wispers as the kids were in the back, till in the end it was a case of "just dont speak to me" (this from OH). Then he told me to go to the shop and buy some cigarettes as he cant take this for much longer.

Must admit prior to him saying this I was really tempted as I dont think I can take this for much longer either BUT cos he said it I became very stubborn and told him where to go - again in a hushed wisper.

this has to be THE hardest thing I have ever done but I know that I will reap the benefits. Trying to be more positive today but as much as I am o.k. in work its at night when I get home that I am snappy, agressive and moody. I feel really bad on our eldest as she is getting the brunt of it but I dont know what to say to her. Also dont know what I am going to say to OH this evening as we havent spoke since.

Any suggestions on

1) what to say to eldest about my mood swings?

2) what to say to OH apart from Sorry, as we are both to blame?

3) How to overcome the nastiness within me when I get home?

6 Replies

  • It is day 3 already wow look at you go :D and know it is hard to think like that at first but positive mental attitude (PMA) will really help, as will reading, reading and reading.

    Don't compare yourself to OH as everybodys quit is different some find it easy at the start, some find it easier by week 3, some struggle for a while but the main thing is we ALL find it does get easier.

    As for dealing with your eldest, it depends how old they are, mine is 10 and she wanted me to stop, so when i was snappy and told her i was sorry and it was all part of the nictone monsters plan to get me back on the cigs and we just had to put up with it for a little while to he had finally gone.

    Dealing with OH can be hard, i know mine is a saint who has never smoked, try talking calming about how hard you are finding it and would really like his support by ............ whatever you think you need from him.

    As for dealing with the grouch inside, what you need is the PMA, so how about planning some treats, after 1 week you get what? after 2 weeks what? if all else fails i used to take myself away, have a bath, go to bed, whatever just be by yourself for a while, have a cry, have a shout, come on here and tell us all about it.

    Hope some of this helps, but my main message is a big hug and loads of PMA on the way.

  • TY for the PMA just hope I can keep hold of it till I get to bed tonight.

    My eldest is 15 and we havent told any of the kids that we have give up as we have both tried before seperatly and feel like we let them down when we started again. I only gave up for about a day and then hid it from her for 3 years cos she was so proud of me, how bad am I?

    Anyway we decided this time that we wanted to give up for a couple of weeks then tell them as by then I knew if I could give up for a couple of weeks I wouldnt go back.

    Just dont want to tell her only to get "oh yeh course you are like you did last time when you lied to me" But then again I didnt think I would be this bad with her.

  • Ok here's a bag that will keep to PMA safely stored until you need it.

    Maybe telling the kids will help? it depends how you think you will react to the added pressure of quitting in front of your kids? Sorry is that harsh, i don't know, some people will be strong, and other can't cope with the added pressure, as i said every quit is different. It may also help to have their support. How about telling them that you have already done 3 days they will be very proud i'm sure, my 10 year old will tell me how nice i smell now and things like that.

  • Thanks for the bag, its now safely stored on my desk for the rest of the working day :)

    I think telling them may add to the pressure, although OH has said he will speak to the eldest and explain things in her language but only as long as I am up for it, I think I may wait till the end of the week and then say something, that is unless one of them realises that neither of us have had a cigarette which I thought they would of by now.

    Not feeling to bad this afternoon, not thinking about it much. Going to bake this evening to keep my hands busy (as the house is already spotless) and to give everyone a treat.

  • Hi Younme :D

    Well done you day 3 is great

    The way you're feeling just now is completely normal for this ealy stage of a quit but it does get better Promise

    As for what to say to your OH and children I think wait until you feel calm then sit them down and explain why you're as you are just now tell them how hard it is for you and ask them to bear with you I know your OH has quit as well but as we're all different so are our quits

    He may be finding it a bit easier than you just now but it could change around a bit with you finding it easier a bit later on we all tend to experience different things at different times there are no set rules for this

    Failing all else is there somewhere you could go to be alone for a while sometimes where you could ask that the rest of the family don't follow sometimes just being alone can help



  • Younme,

    Your exactly like me and my missus was for the first week, gone from being a fairly placid relationship to snapping at each other with some very nasty things said!!!

    Just remember that this is part of the nicotine withdrawal phase and will pass, I promise you both, and you don't mean the rubbish that comes out of your mouth.

    Its not easy, sometimes you need to count the seconds but it can be done.

    At times like that, its easy to go for a fag, but think about it, its no different to a baby going for their dummy when there upset, so I used to drag on a pen, electric ciggie, finger, whatever.

    I've just gone past 6 weeks and Im back to my calm self. I think you will be after the first week or so.

    Remember, the first 3 days are the hardest, and as they saying goes, if me who loved smoking can quit, anyone can!

    I read that you were finding yesterday hard, so congrats for not smoking, and were all watching your posts and willing you both on.

    Also, a cold hard fact for you, if you think your finding it tough, thank your lucky stars that your not a heroin addict. Giving up smoking is 1/100th as painful as giving up heroin, so we have it quite easy really compared to them. That thought alone stopped me feeling sorry for myself in the early days. Hope it helps you both too.



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