Day 2 - not stopped crying all morning, am in work with red eyes and no smile today. For the second night running I have had very little sleep and spent most of my time tossing and turning.
BUT its Day 2 - yey.
Dont get me wrong, I know that giving up is the best thing for me thats why I am giving up BUT it does feel like I am grieving at the minute. Agree or disagree but thats how I feel. Cigarettes were my best friend for 25 years, they stuck with me through the good times and got me through many many bad times (thats a different story for another day) and now they are gone for good and I wont ever see them again (yes I know your all shouting at me now that its a good thing - I know) think thats why I am so down today.
OH is doing really well so much better than me - he was the one that was calming me down last night when I was getting short with the kids he is the one encouraging me all the time. He says that maybe its the calm before the storm, but I just think he is so much better at this than I am.
Oh dear crying again. Might ring the doctor in a bit and see whether he can give me a prescription rather than me using the patches, maybe thats whats making me stay awake at night cos when I am dreaming its like I am conscious and weird so so weird.
Well nearly 9.00 lets see what the work day brings.