it's been a strange day today, I woke this morning from having had a very vivid dream that i was offered a cig and took it and smoked some as if it was second nature but quickly realized that
i did not smoke and handed it back. In my dream i felt awful, really disappointed with myself for putting nicotine in my system that i worked so hard to get out!!!! Upon waking it was hard to shake the feeling of guilt for some reason!
A few times today i have had a few knee jerk reactions to nip out for one and then realizing i don't smoke! I guess we all have more off days, i feel very lucky so far that the champix has made it fairly easy for me! I have found that ive had a few dreams in relation to smoking and while awake a few times i found myself mesmerized by others puffing away, not in a longing for one way just a strange kind of trying to figure out how i feel about smokers kinda away, i guess its my way of processing and reprogramming who i am now as a non smoker!! I don't know if this making any sense to any one but it is good to get it out!!!
Have felt less tired today but have also felt a little more irritated by people, i manage a shop and was closing up (way after closing time!) when a lady came running up shouting "oh! "oh!" "i just missed you, oh" "do you sell sugilite???" I corrected her way pronunciation and said yes we do, she then asked how much they are.. i said well there's lots there i really couldn't say, it would be best for you to pop in when we are open. She then started to demand "well a bull park figure???" By which point Im starting to think, come on lady, its not my fault you missed us being open (irritation rising!) and to be fair i could of given her the info she wanted but i didn't just because she annoyed me so much...I just snapped at her saying "im sorry i don't know how much they are, maybe come back!?!?! i am defo more accommodating than that normally!!! So, sorry miss's Sugilite lady!!!!!!! Im kind of glad no one has pushed me to much at work as i am feeling i could snap quite badly.... here's hoping no one will (only one day left and Im off for 10 days!!!)
God, i hope you don't all think bad of me now, its the withdraw i promise!!!!!
Well, heres to 1 week today not having smoked (apart from in my dreams)........
Take Care, Big love
Chrisps x x x