I first gave up on 1 July 08, which (stupid me) if i'd just kept itup, and never had another, would be a whole years freedom from the fags!!
It has been successful in some ways, cos I haven't ever gone back to the forty a day i previously smoked,thank god, and I now realise all the tricks the addict in me will play to get me to smoke again. Mostly that is "I can have just one"or "I'll just have the night off from smoking with a few drinks" or "I can become a social smoker."
Drinking alcohol for me is the biggest hurdle- I used to smoke whole packets while drinking- and still can't get drunk cos I know I'll lapse.) But of course that never ever works, you have one, buy a packet , continue to smoke them when you get home thinking you'll give up again tomorrow, have some left in the morning, smoke them (cos what a waste of money it would be not to!) , then maybe even buy another pack cos after all this day is wasted because you've already smoked, and theres no point in giving up today..... I'm sure you all know how it goes. I used to think that smoking was pretty harmless and not a real addiction, but if you just replace the word nicotine with heroin or crack, you realise how desperate it all is-i.e I NEED some crack, Can you lend me a fiver? I need to buy heroin, I can't wait to be off this bus cos I need a fix, etc. etc etc,
I've come to realise this is the mental side of the addiction at work, just because you stop and get through the worst of the withdrawal that nicomonster doesn't go away, even though you're physically not craving much anymore.
So, this (for maybe the 40th time -If you count all those lapses) is my quit day and the reasons haven't changed.
I used to spend Â£80 plus a week (40 a day, hardcore smoker me!) on something I rarely if ever enjoyed. Even when I've lapsed, I didn't really enjoy it, the only exception is with alcohol, the two things are very linked for me! I can't afford to do anything else but smoke, I have no savings and i still live with my parents at 33!
I don't want to be addicted,
Smoking is just another drug addiction, and addicts are selfish people, we just really care first and foremost about where our next fix is coming from, I think I really got to that point, I've sold things to buy cigarettes, borrowed money (practically every week) and I think if desperate enough I'd steal money, I've put cigarettes over food- I'd only eat one meal a day to have money for cigarettes, during periods of utter skintness.
I'm 33 and have chronic bronchitis type symptoms all the time. I used to wheeze every morning like an 80 year old and I couldn't run fo a bus.At 25, a doctor told me I should stop smoking because I'd already caused myself serious damage, Of course I didn't listen, I didn't even think about giving up!
I've had episodes ofdepression and anxiety since i was a teenager, and I started to wonder how I'd feel without smoking. What difference would it make to my brain to not inhale those 4000 chemicals every day? How do I know what that is doing to me?
Also, Cos I've had a year of giving up for a bit and then smoking again for a bit, I know that theres all these wonderful things that happen, that you don't really realise are going to,
like your hands and feet stop feeling cold all the time, you start to be able to run,food tastes awesome, your nose completely unblocks, and you can smellthings you never even knew existed! You start to realise what an addict you were, you have sympathy for homeless heroin addicts cos you knowyou're drug addicted like them- It starts to scare you, what would you do for your drug?
You start to feel what its like to be truly free of nicotines shackles.
These two links are great for anyone struggling with junkie thinking, they tell you what to say to the thought when you have it