I had intended to quit on Friday 18th July 2008, but my packet had lasted me until mid day on Thursday, and I’d bought the lozenges in the morning so I thought what the heck, bring it forward by half a day!
It was the end of lunch time, I sat on a bench in bright sunshine and took a little time to smoke my last ever cigarette. As I got closer to the filter I became more aware and wondered exactly how low I should smoke it, seeing as that was it. Well actually I left a reasonable butt, stubbed it out and went back to work.
What had led me to another yet attempt to quit was that I had been involved in a discussion on a martial arts forum about smoking and when I read back my “answers†I could see that I was in denial! At that point I had a moment of clarity, and accepted that I was smoking because I am addicted to nicotine. I had known but ignored the fact for years but it wasn’t until that point that I actually associated myself with drug addicts, alcoholics and even to an extent people with eating disorders.
Up until that point I had been through a series of failed quits some longish some very short and even at one point I would repeat a cycle of not smoking for a couple of weeks then reward myself for abstaining by….. smoking!!
I decided to get some help and advice and I’d been on here in 2006 so I came back. I was quickly pointed in the direction of reeducating myself and changing my mindset. It worked, I don’t know if I would have succeeded if I hadn’t managed to do so but even if I had I know that it would have been a much tougher ride.
Now over the last year I have seen many people come through the forum some succeed and some fail, but the really noticeable thing is that those who embrace the idea of educating themselves about nicotine addiction and manage to change their frame of mind to accept that quitting is not a sacrifice are the ones most likely to succeed.
It seems to me that a quit runs through several stages,
Endurance
Resolve
Practice
Normality
To start with its tough and you just have to resist the urge to smoke. It’s new and exciting you count the hours, days, weeks and months. As you get further into the quit you start to get used to living life as a non smoker as you continually repeat situations that you used to associate with smoking, but as a non smoker. Eventually having done that enough you get quite practiced at living as a non smoker and it becomes normal but situations which you haven’t practiced can still crop up and make you rely on your resolve, once again.
The endurance stage which is the physical withdrawal from nicotine which really only lasts up to a couple of weeks after you stop using nicotine. Everything else is in the mind, and probably trickier to deal with as a result!
So what does that mean to me now? Well if I said that the thought of smoking never crossed my mind I would be lying, I still fancy one from time to time but I understand that the temptation to smoke is only due to deep seated associations with either pleasure or coping, a kind of nostalgia. I know that the fact that I smoked in those situations is didn’t mean the nicotine helped me it was just that I needed to deal with the craving to top up my nicotine levels before I could get on with living my life.
If I still saw smoking as a forbidden pleasure I would eventually fail in a moment of weakness. Could I have the odd one or two now and again? Well who knows, in the past I have tried it and always gone back to smoking, as a result. The fact is I won’t and the reason I won’t is that I don’t want to. I don’t want to be a social smoker or an occasional smoker I am a non smoker and intend to stay that way!
Can't say anymore about this insightful and heartfelt post than has already been said. This is one more gem which I'm going to use for remaining a non-smoker. I'm visualising posting here in 355 days.....................
Thanks all of you, really pleased to have made it.
Its had its ups and downs but over all quitting has been a hugely satisfying achievement, hmmm maybe I'll pop into the newsagents tomorrow for a pack of 20 then I can start all over again on this fantastic journey. :eek: Maybe not :eek:
Nic, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 1 YEAR!!!! I want to thank you for your wise words and help. I'm pretty sure if you and Stuart hadn't been on here to tell me to read, read, read and give me the links to read that I wouldn't have had the mind set to stay quit! I also want to thank you for listening and responding to my rant. Don't be a stranger to the forum. Many people still need to hear your words.
Nic-you did it mate, a whole year without smoking.
Seriously, well done and thanks for today's post-so true all of it.
I thank my lucky stars that I found this forum at the beginning of my quit and changed my mindset before the nico demons persuaded me that I could have 'just one' as a reward for being so good.
Huge congrats on getting to the one year anniversary. You really dedicated yourself and not only have you manged to turn this around for yourself you also provided along the way loads of sound advice for many, many members of the forum.
Like others I don't visit too often so quite pleased that this time has coincided with your momentous occasion.
Oh Nic, i almost missed it but thanks to Linda she woke me up
Huge Huge well done Nic, you were one of the key people at the beginning of my quit who kept me on the right road, i knew then that you would get here.
Congratulations - you were (and still are) a real inspiration to me when I first quit. Thanks for all your support and well done on being smoke free for a year - and for the rest of your long and healthy life I am sure!
Well done and how brilliant to have got to a year AND have such a fab attitude, sorry i'm late with the wishes but hey im here now, on my 140th day...ty for all ur kind words of support during my time and congrats to you again nic
But must make a public congratulations to mr nic! As always, an inspiration. Bloomin well done bloke! Stu, am most looking forward to the video. Will you be wearing a costume too?
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