Gosh, How did I get there?????
For every new non smoker, every hour, day, week seems to last forever . I can honestly say it does become less important & before you know it you look & hey, it's been weeks etc.
I have been trying to stop for many years & So MANY times had said tomorrow, tomorrow but when it came to it too scared to even take the first step.
I have found it easy this time for two very personel reasons. Hea
th wise at the age of 48 knowing already I had the beginnings of copd. Just before I stopped I swept the tiles in my very tiny hall & had to stop because I was out of breath. I am 48, too a younger person I know that is ancient, to everyone around my age we all know we are just babies. I walked up the stairs to my office at work & could not breathe let alone talk to anyone.
Basically, I knew that I was very near the point of no return.
I had breast cancer at the age of 35. At that point I had stopped smoking just over a year. I had lost all my post quittinmg weight, exercised every day. How could this happen to me???? The answer is--who knows. The outcome is that because I was fit etc I was lucky, it had not spread & I am one of the lucky ones still here.
Wjy the hell did you start smoking again I asked myself as you will as well. All through the tests to find out I never honestly thought about having a fag. Luckily for me the olympics whre on so I soent many a sleepless night in front of the telly in the middle of the night. It was not untill I was nearing my chemo That suddenly all I could think about was having a ciggie. I had gone through 6 months of the most imaginable worry without thoght of a fag but suddenly it was all I could think of. I ba\ttled & battled, eventually bought 10. Had half a fag, sobbed my heartr out then through them away. A bit later bought 10 morew, had a few more, through them away. See the pattern emerging??? For those that don't knon about smokin g, they would say, how can you go through that & still put your body through the pain & terror of smokiong????
I am sorry, this is not to be a scare story. Beleive me I have cried so many time over the addiction of nicotine, because that it was it is. Say heroine etc, it puts it in a different league but nicotine is up there with it. Just publicly moreacceptable.
It isn't. I am a 48 year woman. I have benn blesssed with the birth of two very fantastic boys aged 25 & 26. i HAVE the most beauifull grandaughter who will be starting scholl this Septemebr.
I was lcky when I had breast cancer that it was found early even though it was a vewry aggressive type.
I was lucky I was healthy enough to beat it.
Please, please, I am bearing a bt of my soul here, stop smoking, keep stopped. We all have mums, dads, brothers, sisters, husbands, wifes, girlfrinds, people we love. None of us can escape a helath problem that appears except the one we bring upon ourselves.
If I had thought I was goona leave my children possibly withought a mum because I HAD BROUGHT IT ON MYSELF - for me it was just fear of leaving my children. The most unbeleivabe pain.
I am sorry folks - I do hop that some of this post will make sense to you. Trying to tell you such painfull things in my heart & life is hard but if it makes ONE person stronger in stopping smoking for good it will be worth it.
To every person who wants to - or is trying to stop smoking - this may not be YOUR time but never, never stop trying because one day will be YOUR day.
Please excuse anys speeling or grammar, long post !!!!
All my love Gaynor Rattley, aged 48, Mum 0f 2 fantastic boys, grandmas of the most beautifull 4.5 year old & ;oving wife of bloke who aint got it yet LOL. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Ending day 2
actually day 10 not day 9...but in will hit someone!!!
