62 days ????????????????

Gosh, How did I get there?????

For every new non smoker, every hour, day, week seems to last forever . I can honestly say it does become less important & before you know it you look & hey, it's been weeks etc.

I have been trying to stop for many years & So MANY times had said tomorrow, tomorrow but when it came to it too scared to even take the first step.

I have found it easy this time for two very personel reasons. Hea

th wise at the age of 48 knowing already I had the beginnings of copd. Just before I stopped I swept the tiles in my very tiny hall & had to stop because I was out of breath. I am 48, too a younger person I know that is ancient, to everyone around my age we all know we are just babies. I walked up the stairs to my office at work & could not breathe let alone talk to anyone.

Basically, I knew that I was very near the point of no return.

I had breast cancer at the age of 35. At that point I had stopped smoking just over a year. I had lost all my post quittinmg weight, exercised every day. How could this happen to me???? The answer is--who knows. The outcome is that because I was fit etc I was lucky, it had not spread & I am one of the lucky ones still here.

Wjy the hell did you start smoking again I asked myself as you will as well. All through the tests to find out I never honestly thought about having a fag. Luckily for me the olympics whre on so I soent many a sleepless night in front of the telly in the middle of the night. It was not untill I was nearing my chemo That suddenly all I could think about was having a ciggie. I had gone through 6 months of the most imaginable worry without thoght of a fag but suddenly it was all I could think of. I ba\ttled & battled, eventually bought 10. Had half a fag, sobbed my heartr out then through them away. A bit later bought 10 morew, had a few more, through them away. See the pattern emerging??? For those that don't knon about smokin g, they would say, how can you go through that & still put your body through the pain & terror of smokiong????

I am sorry, this is not to be a scare story. Beleive me I have cried so many time over the addiction of nicotine, because that it was it is. Say heroine etc, it puts it in a different league but nicotine is up there with it. Just publicly moreacceptable.

It isn't. I am a 48 year woman. I have benn blesssed with the birth of two very fantastic boys aged 25 & 26. i HAVE the most beauifull grandaughter who will be starting scholl this Septemebr.

I was lcky when I had breast cancer that it was found early even though it was a vewry aggressive type.

I was lucky I was healthy enough to beat it.

Please, please, I am bearing a bt of my soul here, stop smoking, keep stopped. We all have mums, dads, brothers, sisters, husbands, wifes, girlfrinds, people we love. None of us can escape a helath problem that appears except the one we bring upon ourselves.

If I had thought I was goona leave my children possibly withought a mum because I HAD BROUGHT IT ON MYSELF - for me it was just fear of leaving my children. The most unbeleivabe pain.

I am sorry folks - I do hop that some of this post will make sense to you. Trying to tell you such painfull things in my heart & life is hard but if it makes ONE person stronger in stopping smoking for good it will be worth it.

To every person who wants to - or is trying to stop smoking - this may not be YOUR time but never, never stop trying because one day will be YOUR day.

Please excuse anys speeling or grammar, long post !!!!

All my love Gaynor Rattley, aged 48, Mum 0f 2 fantastic boys, grandmas of the most beautifull 4.5 year old & ;oving wife of bloke who aint got it yet LOL. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

9 Replies

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  • Bless Chrissie

    Hiya Chrissie,

    I think that people just don't get me & I don't get why. I have so much to give to people without prejudice but I think some people are only interested int themselves. Tnose who are helped by what I havew said have all my energy & best wishes behind them. Well it did me ok, I am still here & not dead, I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH BEING LUCKY - WAS JUST NOT MY TIME- RUSSIAN ROULETTE ANYONE??? I AM NOT A GREAT BELEIVER IN GOD - DON'T GET ME WRONG - Luckily, just not me time

  • Hi Gaynor,

    Not sure what you mean by people dont get you...........you have a lovely heart warming story which has so many positives at the end...............

    Keep at it girl and well done.........

    Best of luck to everyone.............i'm 18 months in now and it's all good.

    Gary xxx :)

  • Thanks

    Ah,

    Thanks Gary & Chrissie for your lovely messages.

    I hope, no, know will I will beat my last quit Gary, I know it can be done hey? LOL.

    I did not mean my original post to be down beat & I apologise for that if it is. Have had a few nasty comments today at work from the queen of nastiness & perhaps some of it rubbed off!

    Keep strong & beileive in yourself.

    Love Gaynor.

    xx

  • Hi Gaynor :D

    First Congratulations on reaching 62 days that's great Big Hug for you

    What a great post you have there one that will inspire both the newbies and longer term quitters alike to stay quit for good

    I'm I now realise very lucky as I smoked for over 50 years and had none of the smoking related illnesses

    Your post is not scary at all but very thought provoking for everyone who reads it

    Thankyou for sharing your story with us all

    Gary Well done on 18months that's great, I'm almost 8 months into my quit and agree that it's all good

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxxxx

  • Morning Marge & thank you for you reply :)

    8 months is fantastic Marge, seems a long way off for me but I am sure the time will fly by as the last 2 months have.

    I should be at work but feel absolutley rubbish so have my bum planted firmly on the sofa, that's not gonna help with it's ever grwoing dimensions LOL.

    Hugs, Gaynor

  • Hi Gaynor :D

    Sorry you don't feel so good this morning so just keep that bum firmly planted on the sofa for today but I promise it really will get better and time will fly,for you as well sometimes it doesn't seem possible that I've been smoke free for as long as I have

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxxx

  • Hi Gaynor,

    Absolutley fantastic post, I bet you had to find a lot of strength to share that with the forum.

    I have read it twice now and have taken a lot from it so thank you.

    Well done on the quit and stay strong. You know you can do this.

    Gary.

  • Hi Gaynor,

    I have read it twice now and have taken a lot from it so thank you.

    Gary.

    Hi Gary,

    Thank you very much.

    If what I have said helps others to stay strong & stay quit than it is worth it.

    Love Gaynor xx

  • I should be at work but feel absolutley rubbish so have my bum planted firmly on the sofa, that's not gonna help with it's ever grwoing dimensions LOL.

    Hiya Chrissie,

    I am ok thanks part from the above!!

    Not smoking though :D:)

    How are you today?

    Love G xx

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