I haven't posted here i a long time, as I've only just quit again in the last few weeks, but have come back for a bit of support really and to document how I'm feeling.
I quit about 3 weeks ago and after a couple of days using patches I managed to stop cold turkey, which I still believe is the most effective way. The first few days of clearing the nicotine out of my system seemed surprisingly easy, and despite having a very stressful couple of weeks at work I was fine not having the cigarette crutch.
However over this last week/few days I feel like I've gone slightly mental
I've been feeling as if I've been detached from myself and everything's been going on in a mental fug - have been very tired and sleeping a lot, plus I've been in a truly foul mood these last couple of days. Was truly horrible verbally to my wife the other night and then extremely grumpy at the world yesterday morning. As the day progressed I cheered up a lot more, but went for work drinks last night and proceeded to get pretty drunk. Of course I cracked and smoked a fag on my drunken walk home. I've had anther one today, which bizarrely has made me feel a lot more clear-headed and back to myself!
I'm still intending to stay off the fags if I can and am not going to treat these couple of lapses as a true set-back, but really do despair at this 'other person' I seem to become around about the 3-4 week mark everytime I try to quit.
Has anybody else experienced this and found ways to get through it? I think scientifically that it's down to the dopamine levels in my brain readjusting themselves to the way they were before they were reliant on nicotine, but it really does scare me that I might become a different person, if that makes sense?! I've suffered from depression and only really been over that and off anti-depressants for the last 4 months, which probably has something to do with it all, but guess I really just need a bit of peer support.
Sorry for the ramblings here!